Quad Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Is this closure? Receiving an email from your ex and your ex telling you she has moved on and thanking you for being a part of her life? Isn't closure supposed to be the ex explaining what happened that led to the breakup? Clearing the air? You don't just tell somebody you were involved with for years, "I've moved on and hope you are too. You've been good. Thank you."
LovelyDaze Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Actually, I think closure can only be found in ourselves. No one can do it for you. I have learned that even though my ex has expressed his undying love for me and that he hopes we can work it out AFTER he breaks up with his current girlfriend, I just feel like a fool. I KNOW he is not right for me.He is asking me to be his 2nd choice in case things don't work out with girl #1. How pathetic is that? What we must do as the dumped party is to accept that the ex is just not who we are meant to be with. Either not now or ever again. Feel every sad emotion you must but make sure you keep living your life. Keep smiling, doing your favorite hobbies and hanging out with people who have proven that they really are here for you. It's working for me and that IS my closure.
DSM2709 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 LovelyDaze, I like your post, very well put. I am still dealing with my ex, and I am having a hard time getting closure with her, because I keep thinking if I stay in contact with her (We are friends now), it gives me hope that we will get back together again. I know it probably will never happen, but I can't help myself. She is dealing now with a psycho ex, that she put an RO on, and he blames me for being a "wedge" between them two, because we are friends. I talk to my ex almost everyday, and it kills me when she speaks of him or her other guy friends that want to "help" her in dealing with this guy. I want to help her too, but she doesn't seem interested. I think I might have to limit my contact with her, I know it will hurt but I can't be involved in this mess she got herself into.
NopeNah Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) That's just her not leading you on. Accepting that it being over and being ok with it , is closure imo. Edited October 29, 2009 by Praying4Daylight
nonphixion Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I am still dealing with my ex, and I am having a hard time getting closure with her, because I keep thinking if I stay in contact with her (We are friends now), it gives me hope that we will get back together again. I know it probably will never happen, but I can't help myself. She is dealing now with a psycho ex, that she put an RO on, and he blames me for being a "wedge" between them two, because we are friends. I talk to my ex almost everyday, and it kills me when she speaks of him or her other guy friends that want to "help" her in dealing with this guy. I want to help her too, but she doesn't seem interested. I think I might have to limit my contact with her, I know it will hurt but I can't be involved in this mess she got herself into. I am going trough the EXACT thing,minus the RO and we kinda have a friends with benefits going on now...but i talk to her everyday and i think about her everyday,but she is not interested like me.I know she loves me but she doesnt want to give herself to me right now due to a breakup with her recent ex..Everytime i see her or talk to her i miss her more and more,so much that im depressed most of the time.I am slowley gonna limit my contact to her and just let her come to me if its going to happen...
DSM2709 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Yup, same here. I am dating though, so It's not that bad and she knows it. I sometimes think she is a bit jealous of me because I can move on with my life and date other people. Ultimately, I would like to get a second chance with her and start fresh...who knows only time will tell. Stay strong.
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