acarls20 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Ok, so I'm still complaining about the same guy. We've become best friends after being friends with benefits. Which to me, is very confusing. He liked sleeping with me at first and then just stopped it. Well, since we are good friends it is very easy to communicate with him especially since I started to develop feelings for him and he knows it. He knew I liked him even though we were doing the whole friends with benefits thing. Recently, I had to ask why we weren't going out especially since it sounded like he wanted to look for something romantic, soon. Yes I did the conversation over the internet. I seem to only think of these things when I'm at home and not with him. He's distracting. LOL. Here is what I asked and his reaction. ME: IS there a reason you don't want to date me? HIM: hmm ME: not hot enough? ME: cause im betting on that one HIM: well, i've experienced a spark with some women, very rarely, and I'm not feeling it. ME: thats really it? HIM: yeah, I think at times it would be nice, but I'm just not feeling it. What is the deal with a spark? We enjoy each other's company. We liked screwing at one point. He admits I'm like the only person he talks to everyday. And he does seem to say ridiculously nice things about me to me. His actions says he likes me but he seems to be convinced that he doesn't. Can we really stay friends this way and do you think our situation can ever improve? I really do care for him greatly. I hope he's just being a moron and not realizing what a great catch he has.
Yamaha Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 He doesn't feel sexual chemistry with you. He likes you and your company but that doesn't translate to romance for him. If you want to be friends then accept it but I would look for another guy to date because he is telling you are not the women for him.
Author acarls20 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 I don't understand how it could be sexual chemistry. We were friends with benefits for quite sometime. Of course I probably wasn't great. He was my first. I was still getting use to it all. He initiated almost all of our sexual contact at first. I don't know how that could just die like that.
amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I don't understand how it could be sexual chemistry. We were friends with benefits for quite sometime. Of course I probably wasn't great. He was my first. I was still getting use to it all. He initiated almost all of our sexual contact at first. I don't know how that could just die like that. It could be one of a billion things, ranging from he's not into girls to you fart during sex. Doesn't matter though, what you should do at this point is drop it, entirely. You clearly have feelings for him that he doesn't reciprocate and it will just make your life harder to try to be friends with him. It might even hold you back from finding someone else.
Island Girl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I don't understand how it could be sexual chemistry. We were friends with benefits for quite sometime. Of course I probably wasn't great. He was my first. I was still getting use to it all. He initiated almost all of our sexual contact at first. I don't know how that could just die like that. Just because a guy has sex with you does not mean there is chemistry. He isn't into you and doesn't want you as a relationship partner. There is no *swoon*. Sorry that is not what you want to hear. But rationalizing it and trying to think of someway it isn't true will not help you. You need to look elsewhere. He isn't the one for you.
aerogurl87 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Ok, so I'm still complaining about the same guy. We've become best friends after being friends with benefits. Which to me, is very confusing. He liked sleeping with me at first and then just stopped it. Well, since we are good friends it is very easy to communicate with him especially since I started to develop feelings for him and he knows it. He knew I liked him even though we were doing the whole friends with benefits thing. Recently, I had to ask why we weren't going out especially since it sounded like he wanted to look for something romantic, soon. Yes I did the conversation over the internet. I seem to only think of these things when I'm at home and not with him. He's distracting. LOL. Here is what I asked and his reaction. ME: IS there a reason you don't want to date me? HIM: hmm ME: not hot enough? ME: cause im betting on that one HIM: well, i've experienced a spark with some women, very rarely, and I'm not feeling it. ME: thats really it? HIM: yeah, I think at times it would be nice, but I'm just not feeling it. What is the deal with a spark? We enjoy each other's company. We liked screwing at one point. He admits I'm like the only person he talks to everyday. And he does seem to say ridiculously nice things about me to me. His actions says he likes me but he seems to be convinced that he doesn't. Can we really stay friends this way and do you think our situation can ever improve? I really do care for him greatly. I hope he's just being a moron and not realizing what a great catch he has. He got the goods and now he's ready to find someone new. Your old news to him and no longer a strange girl he's yet to "conquer" (yes sad but many men still think this way today). Sure you two are friends, and I'm sure he's happy with that but he doesn't want to cross that line. It's very rare that two FWB become more than just that and turn what's casual into a full blown relationship.
Author acarls20 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Thanks for your advice everyone. I'm still going to be friends with him. I think we are both lacking buddies in our lives. I've never gotten along with anyone as well as I get along with him. I think I can handle our friendship. I will pursue other relationships.
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