gypsy_nicky Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Obvious: delusional (grand, extremely self centered), pedophile, lacks empathy, lying in every aspect of life (cheats willingly), law troubles (major ones) etc etc red flags can be objective if the person has major character flaws (listed above) other than that its really hard to say because red flags are what we assume of others out of our own fears, insecurities and social upbringing (if you were raised in a closed upper class environment, you won't be able to understand lower class people, despise them even, vice versa).
TaraMaiden Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Wears, pretty frocks and high heels and stockings to work. And is a guy. that might make me sit up and think twice.....
mushmush Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 does not want to meet your friends. always negative about every situation is always trying to make you feel sorry for you "you know im an orphan and I spent my first christmas alone... isnt that sad???" "No, you cant even remember it" mumble "****ing idiot" threatens to commit suicide on you. threatens to commit suicide on you when she knows thats how your father passed away tells all your friends that you hit her is always talking about her ex's tells you in the end that every one always leaves her. would you consider these red flags?? worst year of my life.
mushmush Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 oh yeah.. is a real estate or used car salesman....
mushmush Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 is always trying to make you feel sorry for HER sorry drunk lol
donnamaybe Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I think a single person with 3 or more cats/dogs is a red flag. People often use pets as surrogates to having real friends. Why would you assume that a single person with pets has no friends? I think someone who has pets is a person who has a kind spot in their heart and they want to share their love. Now if we're talking about someone who has a dozen animals running amok and there's pet poop littering the house, that's another story.
jw90063 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 has a kid already can't handle me being away for 24 hour shifts at a time has a (G)ood (E)nough (D)iploma doesn't like giving head or rough sex doesn't like to get dirty with me in my truck Wow that's a lot of red flags haha, I could go on... Wow that must be a joke. Are those really red flags for you....especially the doesn't like rough sex part or doesn't like getting dirty in the truck you. I think that's a red flag that you think some of those are red flags LOL
jw90063 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Why would you assume that a single person with pets has no friends? I think someone who has pets is a person who has a kind spot in their heart and they want to share their love. Now if we're talking about someone who has a dozen animals running amok and there's pet poop littering the house, that's another story. I've heard a lot of men make jokes about the woman who lives with a bunch of cats. Apparently if a woman lives with more than 1 cat, she might be a freak. They wouldn't dare think she is just a nice kind person who loves animals. Of course, a lot of men hate cats....that's probably it. If it was a bunch of DOGS, they would love that.
Author betamanlet Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 I've heard a lot of men make jokes about the woman who lives with a bunch of cats. Apparently if a woman lives with more than 1 cat, she might be a freak. They wouldn't dare think she is just a nice kind person who loves animals. Of course, a lot of men hate cats....that's probably it. If it was a bunch of DOGS, they would love that. I'm a guy, and I have two cats. I'm told that women look down upon men who have cats, but I don't care. I love my kitties.
donnamaybe Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I'm a guy, and I have two cats. I'm told that women look down upon men who have cats, but I don't care. I love my kitties. Awwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S sweet! I will always have more than one of any type of animal, just so they will have one of their own kind.
Author betamanlet Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Awwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S sweet! I will always have more than one of any type of animal, just so they will have one of their own kind. my facebook "friends" must hate me because I constantly post pics of the kitties in weird positions, like with their paws around each other while sleeping.
Author betamanlet Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Awwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S sweet! I will always have more than one of any type of animal, just so they will have one of their own kind. http://www.imagedump.com/index.cgi?pick=get&tp=553982 I wish I had taken this pic with my good camera, as I would have blown it up and framed it. But it's too low res to do that with.. damn iphone.
Author betamanlet Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 VERY cute!!!! http://www.imagedump.com/index.cgi?pick=get&tp=553907 when I got him a month ago.
sumdude Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I think this is a bad assumption to make. I have one dog and one cat, but am in the process of trying to buy a home. If I do, I would like to get at least one more dog. One, because my dog needs more activity than I'm getting him lately and a dog "friend" during the day while I work would be healthy for him. And two, because frankly my dog makes me a heckuva lot more happy than most people I know. Maybe some people just find joy in animals? I'd add this red flag to the list: anyone who thinks multiple pets is a turnoff. I depends on the situation. I like pets, both dogs and cats though prefer dogs. But walking into a zoo can be a turnoff, not necessarily a red flag. When you realize that Fido, Spot, Precious and BooBoo are all above you in the priority order you tend to wanna get out quick.
donnamaybe Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I'd share some of mine, but I don't have them posted on a public site. Just facebook, and I've got that locked down to just Facebook friends and prefer to keep it that way due to an ex.
Bullydog1982 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Must wear clean underwear....this is non-negotiable. I also like Sam Spades one a lot. Any over the top belief in earth shaking cosmic butterfly feelings of love or the term "Soul Mate" or "The One" sends me running.
Phateless Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Must wear clean underwear....this is non-negotiable. I also like Sam Spades one a lot. Any over the top belief in earth shaking cosmic butterfly feelings of love or the term "Soul Mate" or "The One" sends me running. Sorry if this has already been said, but CLINGY, insecure, highly reactive, all big turnoffs for me.
Bullydog1982 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Sorry if this has already been said, but CLINGY, insecure, highly reactive, all big turnoffs for me. Same here, those all scream drama and I don't do drama.
Isolde Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Why would you assume that a single person with pets has no friends? I think someone who has pets is a person who has a kind spot in their heart and they want to share their love. Now if we're talking about someone who has a dozen animals running amok and there's pet poop littering the house, that's another story. This. I love animals, and the idea that people use them to substitute for friends is ridiculous. The bond between people and animals is completely different than the people-to-people bond. That said, I would never even think of owning more than 2 pets at a time. They require tons of care and attention, and people who own tons of animals and don't clean after them, disgust me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 * They harbour resentment/anger towards there parents, especially there mother. They say that how a son treats his mother is how he goes on to treat women in general, HOWEVER some mummy's boys are serial philanderers and womanisers because they learn from a young age how to charm and manipulate women; the first being mummy dearest. This is the same for girls and their fathers where the first man they wrap around their little finger is daddy. So I would say, a healthy parental bond * For me smoking or regular binge-drinking. Both represent a level of immaturity and a kind of self-destruction. Also my father had serious health problems because of smoking so I have no tolerance for it. * A man that would rather watch porn than have sex with you. * A man that can't admit to watching porn. * Someone that has to go clubbing more than twice EVERY SINGLE WEEK. I think this shows they aren't ready to give up the single life. * A guy who values he's 'boys' more than you. Friendship is important yes but a man that is more obsessed with what his friends think than his girlfriend is again immature and lacks balance. * A man who enjoys making you feel small or scared. One guy once grabbed me and said he could break my wrist if he wanted to! * A man with no ambitions - he will suck you dry and resent you for yours. * A man with a child he does not see * A man who refers to girls as 'slags', 'bitches', 'whores' all the rest of it, I rule out STRAIGHT AWAY * A guy who regularly needs to speak to new girls constantly when in a relationship (looking out for a new partner or for sex) * Someone that takes there phone with them at all times and never leaves it alone with you. Ditto if they are shady with their pc etc * Someone who prefers to plan lads/girls group holidays than a romantic trip away with you * Someone who never pays or never lets you pay * Lack of interest in sex/kissing/hugging/holding hands * Someone that avoids eye contact. My ex avoided doing this a lot because it said it made him uncomfortable. I never realised how serious a red flag that is until now!
TheLoneSock Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Wow that must be a joke. Are those really red flags for you....especially the doesn't like rough sex part or doesn't like getting dirty in the truck you. I think that's a red flag that you think some of those are red flags LOL Nope, no joke. You can get over it though. Who doesn't like rough sex and offroading in a truck? Really. Any girl that doesn't isn't the girl for me. "LOL"
Phateless Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 This. I love animals, and the idea that people use them to substitute for friends is ridiculous. The bond between people and animals is completely different than the people-to-people bond. That said, I would never even think of owning more than 2 pets at a time. They require tons of care and attention, and people who own tons of animals and don't clean after them, disgust me. Completely agree and disagree. The prime reason people have pets is companionship, which can easily be an attempt to fill the void of loneliness. I also agree that having pets doesn't mean anything, unless it's a lot of pets and they are a loner. I also love animals, my gf always gets annoyed because I want to pet every cute dog I see. I've had cats my whole life and they love me.
Author betamanlet Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Completely agree and disagree. The prime reason people have pets is companionship, which can easily be an attempt to fill the void of loneliness. I also agree that having pets doesn't mean anything, unless it's a lot of pets and they are a loner. I also love animals, my gf always gets annoyed because I want to pet every cute dog I see. I've had cats my whole life and they love me. I think the stereotype is of the spinster, or in internet parlance, a "cat herder" an old, umarried woman who was 10+ cats.
Vertex Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Dealbreakers: 1. Girl absolutely has to be intelligent or it's just not going to work at all. 2. No drugs/smoking. Alcohol is okay, but if you're clearly addicted if you make really foolish decisions when drunk -- no way. 3. No ambition -- doesn't enjoy challenge. 4. Financially irresponsible. 5. Dishonest. 6. Overly reactive. 7. Not very sexual. 8. Unwilling to hold hands in public/hug/kiss/etc... I enjoy light PDA once in a while This isn't really a dealbreaker, but I'd be really upset if someone was anti-PDA. 9. Someone who is unable to take responsiblity for their own actions and blames others all the time. 10. Someone who isn't compatible with the fact that I am a bit of a nerd at heart More like a huge nerd, but who's keeping track?
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