amirpc Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I’ve been lurking around here for a bit and I’ve seen quite a lot of anti-dating site sentiment expressed, with a few exceptions. Well I don’t hate online dating sites, in fact I prefer them to almost every other form of dating-getting Just to set my bias out up front, I have had two long term relationships from girls met on internet dating sites. I have had many dates from internet dating sites. I clearly have not found “the girl” as I’m single again, doing the online dating thing once again. I am not looking to get laid, I am looking for someone to fall in love with, get married, and gossip about my friends with. I also am not a loser, I’m wealthy, 25, reasonably attractive, and I can carry a conversation. I also generally do not come off as narcissistic as the previous paragraph did. I’ve done speed dating, frequenting dog parks, hitting on girls in bars (I’ve even read all of the books on it, including some of the really sleazy ones), getting set up through friends, random encounters, been a waitress chaser, I even took dance classes for a while (this actually worked surprisingly better than I thought it would). My point being that I’ve got a basis for comparison. So here it is, in list form: 1) Online Dating is fast. I can figure out if a girl is stupid within approximately 3 seconds of looking at her profile. I don’t have to get past a number close, a few phone conversations and 45 minutes of ****ty overpriced Chinese food to figure out she’s about as interesting as a brick wall. 2) Online Dating is efficient. If I go out to 2 happy hours, and 1 other random social event a week (which I don’t)..and I get 2 phone numbers per event (which I don’t) ..I’m getting basically 6 points of exposure per week, 24 per month. I can spend 30 minutes before bed and view, wink at, e-mail, whatever to 5+ girls a night, easily. There is an argument to be made that the average “quality” is a lot lower online, but I’m easily doing 6.5:1 over “real-life” dating exposure, so for it to be worse the average quality would have to be abysmal (by almost a factor of 10 according to my bull**** made up numbers). And it isn’t. 3) Online Dating is direct. There really is no question why they are on the site, they want some form of interaction with men (or women). They may say oh they are just doing it out of boredom, just wasting time – but facts are facts and they are listed on an internet dating site. It’s a little empowering to know right up front that they are definitely looking for a guy. Plus I have never accidentally spent 30 minutes hitting on a lesbian on match.com, definitely have done that at the dog park. 4) Online dating sites are always on, even when I’m not. If I get an A+ profile up, that thing is still working its magic while I’m too busy doing other stuff, or when I’m REALLY not feeling like dealing with girls, or whatever. I put in some upfront time and then I’ve got this passive lead-generator. It's like when I sold my old 944 Turbo (loved that car), I listed it on e-bay, craigslist, autotrader....but I also told the guys down at autozone, and the body shop I use. 5) The nerd factor. I can’t help but experiment with profiles, try to figure out what approach gets more interest from women, and from what types of women. Let’s be clear here, I am not lying about anything. I do however frame things differently; I might come off as a bit melancholy and sensitive in one post – but kind of a world traveling business man in another. They are both true, I mean I DID cry during the final episode of Battle Star Galactica..and I’m going to London for business in January. I really think you get out of internet dating what you put into it, I don’t put all my eggs in the eHarmony basket, but in general I think of online dating as my best source of quality dates. I think the only way I could do better would be to join a whole bunch of special interest clubs, volunteer work, etc – but who has time for that?
conehead Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Great post! I agree with you. I've met the best bfs from online dating. By the way, with which websites did you find your 2 LTRs from?
BlueHarvest Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 *Sniff sniff*....You guys smell something? Awww GROSS! I stepped in it! *Wipes shoe against curb*...well I got so engrossed by the initial paragraph I didn't see it...
FleshNBones Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I agree. Online dating is great if you are into washed up chubbers. There are also plenty of flakes if you want some pen pals.
OpenGL Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 You are either lying, have the proper stats to look good on paper, and/or have model looks. I suspect you are lying.
FleshNBones Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 You are either lying, have the proper stats to look good on paper, and/or have model looks. I suspect you are lying.Either that or he is tied to the industry, and has a conflict of interest.
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Oh internet, are there no bounds to the depth of your cynicism?
Els Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 While I agree with some of your points (although I'm still skeptical about online dating SITES), I think you'd be a helluva lot more credible if you didn't only have 2 posts to your name, to be honest. REALLY looks like an advertising gimmick.
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) While I agree with some of your points (although I'm still skeptical about online dating SITES), I think you'd be a helluva lot more credible if you didn't only have 2 posts to your name, to be honest. REALLY looks like an advertising gimmick. I deserve every prank e-mail I get as a result of this decision. Edited October 29, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Els Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Well, you seem like a decent guy from the looks of it. Glad you found something that works for you, and all the best in your dating life.
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Great post! I agree with you. I've met the best bfs from online dating. By the way, with which websites did you find your 2 LTRs from? The first one was from yahoo personals, and the second one was from craigslist. Craigslist is too spammy now, its just bots.
Soulmind Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I’ve been lurking around here for a bit and I’ve seen quite a lot of anti-dating site sentiment expressed, with a few exceptions. Well I don’t hate online dating sites, in fact I prefer them to almost every other form of dating-getting I really think you get out of internet dating what you put into it, I don’t put all my eggs in the eHarmony basket, but in general I think of online dating as my best source of quality dates. I think the only way I could do better would be to join a whole bunch of special interest clubs, volunteer work, etc – but who has time for that? amirpc, I need to agree with you, and I lived/have the experience to say that. I've never met any strange/weird guy on-line, in fact,all the opposite! If in our first meetings (with on-line guys) if we don't have or experience any chemistry, at the end of the day often we decide to be friends, and as I result I've made wonderful friends. I met my ex-husband on-line as well, and he was lovely. If we went separate ways was due to the fact that we started to have different goals after 6 years together. Now, we are very good friends. I think my profile is well written, with good pics and it "screams" of a nice,serious girl. 90 % of the responses that I've received, have been of a genuine nice guys. For the last 2 months, I've been dating someone that I met over the internet, and he is fantastic. I had some doubts about him (I've explained that in older posts) but now is resolved. I couldn't ask for more, he is great! Maybe I've just been lucky! Fingers crossed for you! I hope you'll find a lovely girl.
aerogurl87 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I like online dating sometimes. I've never had any success though with an actual online dating site per say, although I met my current and ex boyfriend both online. The ex was on a gaming site and that was a mistake (I vow to never date someone who treats an online game like WoW or Second Life as if it involves life and death, ever again). Then I met my current boyfriend in a chat room for our state when we were both bored one day. As for online dating sites, I think they are more of a hit and miss thing, but then again isn't that how all of life is for the most part?
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Fingers crossed for you! I hope you'll find a lovely girl. Thanks! Me too
Sith Apprentice Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I've had a lot of success on match.com and met 2 women off plentyoffish recently. Even with these I still wouldn't recommend it to the average guy. The amount of bullcrap the average guy has to put up with just to get a date is rediculous.
Sith Apprentice Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 This is interesting but already confirms what I know about the males in our generation -- they're lazy piles of crap relying on a computer to get women.
MN randomguy Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I think the amount of BullCrap a guy has to put up with is ridiculous anyhow. For a guy my age (30) its definitely the way to go. It takes the exponential growth of issues in group dynamics out of it. Sucks to volunteer/go to a class, etc. and try to talk to a group of 5 "besties" without at least 4 quality wingmen. If you've been on 3 dates with her she likes you, she's told her friends that she likes you. They can't say that they don't like you or that they want you for themselves without losing face.
MN randomguy Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 This is interesting but already confirms what I know about the males in our generation -- they're lazy piles of crap relying on a computer to get women. Is it your experience that there is a positive correlation between effort and success in this area of your life? I'm seeing a negative correlation.
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 This is interesting but already confirms what I know about the males in our generation -- they're lazy piles of crap relying on a computer to get women. Hahaha. I would have to say that I'm neither lazy nor a piece of crap. I simply employ all available tools to the best of my abilities However you slice it, this is a numbers game - and if I'm fishing, I want the biggest net possible. You are right though, I bet 90%+ are just lazy/boring people.
Author amirpc Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 I deserve every prank e-mail I get as a result of this decision. Dr. Mr Mod - Could you please re-edit my posting in a way that doesn't just make it completely meaningless? Perhaps you could just delete the post entirely rather than leave this meaningless single line?
FleshNBones Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Hahaha. I would have to say that I'm neither lazy nor a piece of crap. I simply employ all available tools to the best of my abilities However you slice it, this is a numbers game - and if I'm fishing, I want the biggest net possible. You are right though, I bet 90%+ are just lazy/boring people.You are right. Having good looks and belonging to the top 5% of the tax bracket has nothing to do with it. The rest of us average guys are just lazy boring people.
Author amirpc Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 You are right. Having good looks and belonging to the top 5% of the tax bracket has nothing to do with it. The rest of us average guys are just lazy boring people. Don't forget spiteful and jaded
bluestraps Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 I am finding I dont like them and here's why. If you are out and meet someone in person at least you see exactly how they walk and talk and how they look and their basic vibe they give off . Also no one ever seems to look that good to me. And if the description is good usualy im not attracted to person the photo There may be only like one quality match.
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