aerogurl87 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Ok so not that my boyfriend has asked me this, but I was wondering who here thinks you should tell your SO how many people you've slept with? For me, I don't really care how many people they've slept with as long as they have no kids from such activities or STDs. What do you think?
dreamergrl Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm just curious OP, what if they said they've been with 80 people and they were oh say 25? Just for fun, lets say that it is a true statement, and not a made up number.
northstar1 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Ok so not that my boyfriend has asked me this, but I was wondering who here thinks you should tell your SO how many people you've slept with? For me, I don't really care how many people they've slept with as long as they have no kids from such activities or STDs. What do you think? Personally, I don't ask. I don't see what good it will do to know anyways.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Ok so not that my boyfriend has asked me this, but I was wondering who here thinks you should tell your SO how many people you've slept with? For me, I don't really care how many people they've slept with as long as they have no kids from such activities or STDs. What do you think? if you bring this up out of the blue, he'll realize you're insecure about the issue and will think you are reducing the actual numbers. So long as you are STD free and over these guys, leave the past in the past.
BG1985 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Some people insist upon getting that information out there anyway.
Citizen Erased Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 That number shouldn't really be shared. Pretty much ever.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 I'm just curious OP, what if they said they've been with 80 people and they were oh say 25? Just for fun, lets say that it is a true statement, and not a made up number. Well that's them, not that I'd really care. As long as they aren't sleeping with those 80 people now and have no children or STDs as a result of sleeping around that much, wouldn't bother me a bit. I guess I don't judge people too much because of my own past and I know I've done some things most people would look down upon, so who am I to judge another?
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 if you bring this up out of the blue, he'll realize you're insecure about the issue and will think you are reducing the actual numbers. So long as you are STD free and over these guys, leave the past in the past. Oh no, haha, I didn't plan on bringing it up, but the question just popped into my little head. I don't care how many people he's been with, it's none of my business anyway.
dreamergrl Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I think you are a little curious since it popped in your head
Blindsidedagainalive Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I have found out the hard way that this can never be productive. It only works if you both had identical histories, and that is not possible. It is also not good to lie about your past. If the discussion comes up, tell your partner that discussing this can not be constructive. When I was younger and less experienced, I asked this. I was lied to. Later, you find out more, and then you lose trust. You have heard the old.....whatever a woman admits, multiply by 2, whatever a guy admits, divide by 2. Best to keep your history private IMHO.
AD1980 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Chris Rock said it best in a standup Even if you say 2 will flip out "Oh lord It must be the way she was raised or something"
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 I think you are a little curious since it popped in your head Not really, I was reading another thread that mentioned how many people someone had been with and so the thought popped into my head after that. I've never liked the idea of knowing how much a guy I'm dating has slept with unless they claim to be a virgin and yet act like they are alot more experienced (as was the case with my ex). Then I become curious as to whether that's true or not, but that's about it. I never ask a guy how many people he's slept with because I don't want him asking me the same thing.
JohnP82 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Yeah, you can share if that's what you want and he feel comfortable with that information. I really don't want to know how many guys a girl I'm dating has had sex with. I have a crazy imagination that can run wild at times.
honeypear Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I must be one of the insecure one's because I did ask my ex this question. Our numbers were way off. I thought there must be something wrong with me because mine was 4 and his was 25. I never said anything to him how I felt one way or the other. When we started discussing marriage, he admitted that he regretted how many women he had been with and that he was envious of me. I believe it is a sign of insecurity and though it worked out for me I would not suggest asking.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Not really, I was reading another thread that mentioned how many people someone had been with and so the thought popped into my head after that. I've never liked the idea of knowing how much a guy I'm dating has slept with unless they claim to be a virgin and yet act like they are alot more experienced (as was the case with my ex). Then I become curious as to whether that's true or not, but that's about it. I never ask a guy how many people he's slept with because I don't want him asking me the same thing. I can tell you very quickly whether you should bring this up with a guy. How old are you? How many guys have you been with?
JohnP82 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 A friend of mine sent this link to me just a few minutes ago. I don't think it applies to you but it's still....interesting. I think she is at a deal breaker number for me. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/fabulous/features/561491/sex-addiction.html#
looking4 green grass Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I don't really want to discuss my number with any man I'm dating and I don't want to know his!!!! I'd probably die if somebody asked me! It's the past, it doesn't matter!
homersheineken Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 This is a question that shouldn't be asked... My last GF asked this and I said no way I'd answer (even if I could give an honest total). She said she'd tell me and I didn't really care. She stayed mad at me for a couple of days then asked "are you going to tell me?" I said no and left. She chased after me and that was that.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I have no problem telling. I'm not embarrassed of my number and have nothing to hide.
dreamergrl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 A friend of mine sent this link to me just a few minutes ago. I don't think it applies to you but it's still....interesting. I think she is at a deal breaker number for me. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/fabulous/features/561491/sex-addiction.html# Oh dear
SuburbanOblivion Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Don't bring it up, but if he asks, don't lie about it either. Always be honest.
Citizen Erased Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Oh dear Understatement of the century. Wowsers.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Don't bring it up, but if he asks, don't lie about it either. Always be honest. Umm if my boyfriend were to bring it up I'd do like homersheineken... My last GF asked this and I said no way I'd answer (even if I could give an honest total). She said she'd tell me and I didn't really care. She stayed mad at me for a couple of days then asked "are you going to tell me?" I said no and left. That's one question that would not be getting answered by me, and not necessarily because I can't remember how many guys I've slept with since I remember the exact number and every guy's name. But I see it as being none of his business as his number would be none of mine. Some secrets are meant to be kept just that, secrets.
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 A friend of mine sent this link to me just a few minutes ago. I don't think it applies to you but it's still....interesting. I think she is at a deal breaker number for me. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/fabulous/features/561491/sex-addiction.html# Haha ok I'm not that bad. She's a sex addict and needs some help.
dreamergrl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Understatement of the century. Wowsers. She's got me beat by...... ...... .... .. Nevermind I'm not telling
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