usababe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I guess I'm just ranting but also would like to hear from anyone who's been through something similar or has any insight into what I'm going through. I'm finding it so hard to move on because he finished things with me by telling me he has a new girlfriend - in a text message! It's been just over 2 weeks now and I have some very good days where I realise I deserve so much more but then other days I can't stop thinking about him and her together. His friends who used to have so much fun with me are now doing that with her, it's so hard to take and to make things worse I can't stop checking her facebook page - I don't even know why, all it does is upset me. I keep thinking I see him everywhere and then when I do forget about him I actually do see him! I haven't seen them together yet and I'm dreading it because I think he will enjoy flaunting her in my face. During our "relationship" we would have hot and cold phases, he would be all over me for awhile then cold the next and then come back again as strong as ever. He told me he used to pick fights to "have power", that he was a very angry person and he would never let another girl in after his ex. He would get so jealous if I even spoke to another guy and would bombard me with texts anytime I went away without him. I call him an ex because we were involved for 2 years but he knew I wanted a relationship and dangled that in my face like a carrott for the entire time, telling me he wasn't ready but to give him time, all the while being in constant contact with me. I feel like a fool for doing so, I feel used, angry and upset and when I told him that, all he could say was "I didn't think you would be upset cause we're not going out together and what did you want me to do... lie?" I can't figure out why I can't get over someone that is so cold, when I thought we at the very least had a good friendship. I wonder if abusive relationships are harder to move on from...
TaraMaiden Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Yes, they are, because it's not a true pure love, per se, but more of a neediness, an addiction, a desire for validation.... an emotional fix..... you want more even though you know it's evil shxt. That's why they hurt more. Because only you love it. It's got no feeling for you, save as something to thrive on for a meagre amount of pleasure.
9Lives Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I guess I'm just ranting but also would like to hear from anyone who's been through something similar or has any insight into what I'm going through. I'm finding it so hard to move on because he finished things with me by telling me he has a new girlfriend - in a text message! It's been just over 2 weeks now and I have some very good days where I realise I deserve so much more but then other days I can't stop thinking about him and her together. His friends who used to have so much fun with me are now doing that with her, it's so hard to take and to make things worse I can't stop checking her facebook page - I don't even know why, all it does is upset me. I keep thinking I see him everywhere and then when I do forget about him I actually do see him! I haven't seen them together yet and I'm dreading it because I think he will enjoy flaunting her in my face. During our "relationship" we would have hot and cold phases, he would be all over me for awhile then cold the next and then come back again as strong as ever. He told me he used to pick fights to "have power", that he was a very angry person and he would never let another girl in after his ex. He would get so jealous if I even spoke to another guy and would bombard me with texts anytime I went away without him. I call him an ex because we were involved for 2 years but he knew I wanted a relationship and dangled that in my face like a carrott for the entire time, telling me he wasn't ready but to give him time, all the while being in constant contact with me. I feel like a fool for doing so, I feel used, angry and upset and when I told him that, all he could say was "I didn't think you would be upset cause we're not going out together and what did you want me to do... lie?" I can't figure out why I can't get over someone that is so cold, when I thought we at the very least had a good friendship. I wonder if abusive relationships are harder to move on from... Been there and done that. You best bet is to move on cause this pattern will continue....PLEASE believe me. He is all about himself and you have to let go. My ex just told me today that he is seeing someone but they are open. It just disgust me. I cant stand him now. He can go to hell. I'm done with it. Done!!
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