Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 She's not really speaking to me right now. Well she is but not in a very friendly manner. She bought a gold dress last week and was SO excited about it. Well I happened to be in the mall yesterday and I saw a gold bracelet that I thought would go great with the gold dress so I bought it for her. Plus I thought it would make her enjoy the new dress even more to have a new piece of jewelry to go with it. When I gave it to her she got REALLY excited....this is where things went bad. It usually does when I open my mouth. I'm not sure why I said this but when she got so excited I said "don't get too excited it's not real gold". Well she went from crying(happy) to crying(sad). Said how could I say something like that right then, etc, etc.. Just wondering if other women would have been hurt by this. I honestly didn't think it was bad at first...I just didn't want her thinking I was trying to pass off gold plated for solid gold, you know? Well I guess I'm in trouble for thinking she cared either way. She says I ruined a beautiful act by opening my mouth. Any suggestions for getting out of the doghouse? Being a woman, would what I said have upset you enough to be pissed at me? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings.
northstar1 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 She's not really speaking to me right now. Well she is but not in a very friendly manner. She bought a gold dress last week and was SO excited about it. Well I happened to be in the mall yesterday and I saw a gold bracelet that I thought would go great with the gold dress so I bought it for her. Plus I thought it would make her enjoy the new dress even more to have a new piece of jewelry to go with it. When I gave it to her she got REALLY excited....this is where things went bad. It usually does when I open my mouth. I'm not sure why I said this but when she got so excited I said "don't get too excited it's not real gold". Well she went from crying(happy) to crying(sad). Said how could I say something like that right then, etc, etc.. Just wondering if other women would have been hurt by this. I honestly didn't think it was bad at first...I just didn't want her thinking I was trying to pass off gold plated for solid gold, you know? Well I guess I'm in trouble for thinking she cared either way. She says I ruined a beautiful act by opening my mouth. Any suggestions for getting out of the doghouse? Being a woman, would what I said have upset you enough to be pissed at me? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings. Hmmm, a bit of an overreaction it seems. You could have always added in "Well, no big deal, the engagement ring won't be real either"
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 She's not really speaking to me right now. Well she is but not in a very friendly manner. She bought a gold dress last week and was SO excited about it. Well I happened to be in the mall yesterday and I saw a gold bracelet that I thought would go great with the gold dress so I bought it for her. Plus I thought it would make her enjoy the new dress even more to have a new piece of jewelry to go with it. When I gave it to her she got REALLY excited....this is where things went bad. It usually does when I open my mouth. I'm not sure why I said this but when she got so excited I said "don't get too excited it's not real gold". Well she went from crying(happy) to crying(sad). Said how could I say something like that right then, etc, etc.. Just wondering if other women would have been hurt by this. I honestly didn't think it was bad at first...I just didn't want her thinking I was trying to pass off gold plated for solid gold, you know? Well I guess I'm in trouble for thinking she cared either way. She says I ruined a beautiful act by opening my mouth. Any suggestions for getting out of the doghouse? Being a woman, would what I said have upset you enough to be pissed at me? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings. Lemme guess, she's into name brands as well? She was probably concerned what her friends might have thought if they realize it was only gold plated instead of 18k gold.. If that's that important to her, I would say your future with her is going to be a living hell. sorry.
EricaH329 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Hmmm, a bit of an overreaction it seems. You could have always added in "Well, no big deal, the engagement ring won't be real either" Just terrible!! Lemme guess, she's into name brands as well? She was probably concerned what her friends might have thought if they realize it was only gold plated instead of 18k gold.. If that's that important to her, I would say your future with her is going to be a living hell. sorry. I don't believe this is the case. From what I understand, she was more upset over the fact that he wasn't basking in her excitement with her. What he said to her was more of a buzz kill than anything else. She'll get over it. And, if she doesn't, then that's a little sad.
CarrieT Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 How long have you been together? A few months and I think it would be too soon for a real gold bracelet anyway. But -- and howz this for perspective -- she should be grateful that you thought enough about her to buy her something that would go with a new outfit, regardless if it was real gold or not. Why? Because I have been a jewelry maker for 25 years and have yet to have ANY MAN give me a piece of jewelry, real or not. I get comments like, "well, you can just make whatever you want!" So the fact that you thought enough about her to buy a gift JUST BECAUSE is charming and lovely and she needs to be slapped upside the head. I've told several of my SOs that they don't have to buy me a big diamond or anything. Just the thought would count! And (for me), there are things I can't make (like vintage stuff) that I like. Heck, when I was 20, I even had to make my own wedding band...
Dark-Farmer Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Amazing she's mad at you. poor timing on revealing it's not gold but her reaction should have been more along "you bone head" and leave it at that. If my girlfriend did that to me I would counter "be mad". Then she wold probably calm down think to herself "yeah he was trying to do something nice" and then she would probably apologize. You tried to do something nice for her, it was actually quite cosiderate. I think you should be mad.
Malenfant Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 if it were me i would have just been pleased my bloke had thought of me and bought me a pressie. hell, im a woman and i have no idea how to get out of it but i guess she'll just get over it. but dont pander to her, you havent done anything wrong. if you try and make up for it its like admitting you were wrong, and then she'll feel she can put her parts on over silly things and get her own way.
Awesome Username Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 She's not really speaking to me right now. Well she is but not in a very friendly manner. She bought a gold dress last week and was SO excited about it. Well I happened to be in the mall yesterday and I saw a gold bracelet that I thought would go great with the gold dress so I bought it for her. Plus I thought it would make her enjoy the new dress even more to have a new piece of jewelry to go with it. When I gave it to her she got REALLY excited....this is where things went bad. It usually does when I open my mouth. I'm not sure why I said this but when she got so excited I said "don't get too excited it's not real gold". Well she went from crying(happy) to crying(sad). Said how could I say something like that right then, etc, etc.. Just wondering if other women would have been hurt by this. I honestly didn't think it was bad at first...I just didn't want her thinking I was trying to pass off gold plated for solid gold, you know? Well I guess I'm in trouble for thinking she cared either way. She says I ruined a beautiful act by opening my mouth. Any suggestions for getting out of the doghouse? Being a woman, would what I said have upset you enough to be pissed at me? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings. What a stupid ****ing reason to cry. It sounds so unreasonable, I would literally have to see it for myself to see where she was coming from.
Author Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Lemme guess, she's into name brands as well? She was probably concerned what her friends might have thought if they realize it was only gold plated instead of 18k gold.. If that's that important to her, I would say your future with her is going to be a living hell. sorry. No she's saying how could I think the only reason she was excited was because it might be solid gold. Part of the problem is I have a history of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time... She basically says she didn't care what it was made of, just that I bought it for her and then I turned around and hurt her feelings by denigrating her reaction as gold digging... Se says I should have just been happy that she was happy and not mentioned her excitement, especially as it related to what the bracelet was made of. I just don't know how I can explain that I was just running my mouth without really thinking. Plus when she started crying I got insecure. I always do when women cry and I was kinda trying to remove the insecure feeling by being a little funny. But like I said I have a history of saying the wrong thing in these kind of situations.
Awesome Username Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 No she's saying how could I think the only reason she was excited was because it might be solid gold. Part of the problem is I have a history of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time... She basically says she didn't care what it was made of, just that I bought it for her and then I turned around and hurt her feelings by denigrating her reaction as gold digging... Se says I should have just been happy that she was happy and not mentioned her excitement, especially as it related to what the bracelet was made of. I just don't know how I can explain that I was just running my mouth without really thinking. Plus when she started crying I got insecure. I always do when women cry and I was kinda trying to remove the insecure feeling by being a little funny. But like I said I have a history of saying the wrong thing in these kind of situations. Well, this gives a little more of the background. I wouldn't worry about it. In a few years this story is gonna be hilarious to you both.
homersheineken Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well, this gives a little more of the background. I wouldn't worry about it. In a few years this story is gonna be hilarious to you both. I thought it was pretty funny when I read it
Jersey Shortie Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Part of the problem is I have a history of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time... You and every other guy in the world. I think she over-reacted a little BUT i can sort of understand feeling a bit deflated. if my boyfriend gave me something and blew it off as he was giving it to me, such as saying "it's not real or anything", it would take some of the steam and excitment out of the situation. But she should really be able to move on from this or talk to you about it and feel better once you hear her out. It sounds like you understand your hurt her feelings and as long as you don't bully her by yelling back and her and telling her her feelings are "wrong", about the worse things you can do to a woman, then she should really be able to move on. .
Author Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 We've been together four months Carrie. It's not too early for a bracelet. That's not the issue. I sorta agree with you guys. I think she had a right to be mad yesterday but not to carry it over to today. What really gets me is how close I was to doing the right thing and getting some brownie points and I had to open my mouth. I gotta learn that it's better to say nothing in an awkward situation than to say something stupid. Then again in her defense I do have a habit of this kind of thing. She has a thing she does when I start to put my foot in my mouth...she puts her hand up and says stop...just stop talking. Then I know to just stop what I was about to say, or was saying. As an example, the first time we ever kissed I said "man you've been wanting to do that for a long time"...I could just tell by the way she kissed me that she had been wanting to do it badly, but I should have kept it to myself. Sometimes my thoughts run right off my tongue.
homersheineken Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 We've been together four months Carrie. It's not too early for a bracelet. That's not the issue. I sorta agree with you guys. I think she had a right to be mad yesterday but not to carry it over to today. What really gets me is how close I was to doing the right thing and getting some brownie points and I had to open my mouth. I gotta learn that it's better to say nothing in an awkward situation than to say something stupid. Then again in her defense I do have a habit of this kind of thing. She has a thing she does when I start to put my foot in my mouth...she puts her hand up and says stop...just stop talking. Then I know to just stop what I was about to say, or was saying. As an example, the first time we ever kissed I said "man you've been wanting to do that for a long time"...I could just tell by the way she kissed me that she had been wanting to do it badly, but I should have kept it to myself. Sometimes my thoughts run right off my tongue. Yep, you definately need a nice healthy diet of stfu.
Lizzie60 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Glad you got her fake gold cause she is high maintenance.. IMO.. very immature on her part.... no big deal.. could be her PMS.. idk.. (I have no patience with people like that)
Author Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Glad you got her fake gold cause she is high maintenance.. IMO.. very immature on her part.... no big deal.. could be her PMS.. idk.. (I have no patience with people like that) I'm reading all posts but just dont want to quote them all so thanks to everyone who has responded. Lizzie, I admit she can be a handful at times but if I'm being completely honest, I have to admit I am too. Had I not said anything, her reaction would have been perfect. I've had GF's who don't appreciate anything and she isn't like that. I once gave a GF a piece of jewelry....left it in her bedroom on her pillow and when she came out of the bedroom I asked her if she saw the jewelry box and she said "yeah I saw it, it's nice thanks". I broke up with her shortly after as my dad once married a woman like that and he warned me. So part of me feels guilty for screwing this up. She really is a cool chick and didn't deserve what I said. She was appreciative and I should have left it at that. I just called her and asked her to dinner....italian....she said yes, just as long as it's REAL italian food. I think I'm off the hook...
Awesome Username Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 i just called her and asked her to dinner....italian....she said yes, just as long as it's real italian food. i think i'm off the hook... hahahahaha!!!
EmmaLou Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Glad you got her fake gold cause she is high maintenance.. IMO.. very immature on her part.... no big deal.. could be her PMS.. idk.. (I have no patience with people like that) I agree... She really overreacted! I'd have just said.. "who cares, it looks good with my outfit and hasn't cost an arm and a leg!". The best thing about presents is the thought that has gone into them, not the price! She sounds like she cares too much about money, and I'd advise you to think of the future and how this attitude will apply in other situations. Whenever you want to surprise her with something, you'll now always be worried and stressed about her reaction... making you not want to surprise her anymore.
Lakeside_runner Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Go and buy her a genuine gold bracelet. I bet this'll do the job!
Author Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 hahahahaha!!! It was funny and it crystalized her point too. I called my mom about this before I started this thread and her reaction was totally different from the women here. My mom was like why don't you ever just stfu? Why would you say that etc etc.. You're an *******. Then again my mom has been listening to my crap for years so... I'm going to be apologetic for the rest of today and expect her to be over it tomorrow. Thanks again for all the posts. Made me realize I'm not a huge prick, just a little dense maybe.
Lizzie60 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm reading all posts but just dont want to quote them all so thanks to everyone who has responded. Lizzie, I admit she can be a handful at times but if I'm being completely honest, I have to admit I am too. Had I not said anything, her reaction would have been perfect. I've had GF's who don't appreciate anything and she isn't like that. I once gave a GF a piece of jewelry....left it in her bedroom on her pillow and when she came out of the bedroom I asked her if she saw the jewelry box and she said "yeah I saw it, it's nice thanks". I broke up with her shortly after as my dad once married a woman like that and he warned me. So part of me feels guilty for screwing this up. She really is a cool chick and didn't deserve what I said. She was appreciative and I should have left it at that. I just called her and asked her to dinner....italian....she said yes, just as long as it's REAL italian food. I think I'm off the hook... Fine.. if you really like her.. then you need to 'learn' when to shut up.. Silence is GOLD!!!
Lizzie60 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I agree... She really overreacted! I'd have just said.. "who cares, it looks good with my outfit and hasn't cost an arm and a leg!". The best thing about presents is the thought that has gone into them, not the price! She sounds like she cares too much about money, and I'd advise you to think of the future and how this attitude will apply in other situations. Whenever you want to surprise her with something, you'll now always be worried and stressed about her reaction... making you not want to surprise her anymore. Agree.. that's what I would have said too.. chances are she will only wear that dress once or twice anyway.. so no big deal.. She needs to grow up..
SleepyPotato Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 The only thing you can really do is tell her your sorry for ruining the excitement and let her know you'll be ready to be happy when she is. And a few compliments couldn't hurt
Author Die Hard Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Fine.. if you really like her.. then you need to 'learn' when to shut up.. Silence is GOLD!!! I do like her. I've turned into a little bit of a pussy...I have this urge to want to make her happy. I get excited to do things for her. Sappy, I know. I agree about silence being golden....I've gotten better but the urge I get to say what I'm thinking can be absolutely overwhelming at times.
carhill Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well, you got an answer now rather than later when she or one of her girlfriends discovered the bracelet was ersatz. I can only imagine that tirade. The key here is do what you want, say what you want and accept the consequences. Don't let what a woman says or does (or may say or do) control you. That's not the kind of servitude which will bode you well in your life.
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