McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) i really feel like i will regret it the rest of my life. if i went NC 2 months ago i am positive she would be here with me. instead i pleaded and begged. and then i acted out. ugh. from i love you emails, to go **** yourself texts to lets just be friends to everythig in between. recently broke 25 days NC and now i know there is no hope. and this whole thing started with me calling her too much. i cant take the dwelling. i really cant. i even said as we talked the other day, "how deep is the whole im in?" and she said "not that deep" or something. so pointless. i mean the convo was good for the most part. but she ended it. so stupid. i hate my life right now. so sad. i dont know how to move one. Edited October 28, 2009 by McGrupp
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I don't think anyone "knows" how to move on, especially not at first. You can't beat yourself up too much (yeah, right, I know -- I'm the biggest one to overanalyze all my mistakes ). Just do what you can and take it minute by minute if you must. It does get better eventually.
Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 UGH. im having real trouble letting go. of her and of my mistakes that i keep making.
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 UGH. im having real trouble letting go. of her and of my mistakes that i keep making. What mistakes do you think you're making now? It's one thing to acknowledge mistakes made before and learn from them, but I can attest personally -- make sure you learn from them! Lol
Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 i just made one on monday. and now im back to square 1. she is gone. im tired
Author McGrupp Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 i want her back so bad....!>!>!>!>!>!>!>!.1. almost just texted her. im 1 day NC. so what would be the difference.
trueblue72ny Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 ya its going to be tough for awhile. and you are going to go crazy every minute of every day for some time to come, but eventually you will feel better. you know how everyone on here says no contact is the best thing you can do? well, its because it is the best thing you can do for yourself. for you. i know that probably doesnt make much sense right now. cant tell you how many times i contacted m ex after i got thrown out with yesterdays garbage. that was over a year ago now. i can tell you a year later i am feeling much better. in fact i work with mine so i see her at work and never thought i would get over her. but i have. the spell has been broken. and it feels like someome opened up the windows and let the fresh air and light in. now its her that is initiating contact with me. and her that is trying to put on a little cute act to get my attention. and its not because she even wants anything. she is just doing it to be a jerk i think. but i dont even pay any attention to it now. i just think what does that girl want now. its actually starting to annoy me. do what ever you need to do right now to make yourself feel better. and do it for however long you have too. give yourself permission. but not contacting her is the best thing you can do for yourself. seriosuly. everytime you feel one of those emotional waves coming on, take some deep breathes. it will pass in a few minutes. if she is interested in getting in contact with you she knows how too. but you shold not be thinking about that anyway. let her go. you have to train yourself to start thinking and doing other things. after awhile it will happen.
LovelyDaze Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I know that you can McGrupp. I don't know if you are like me and actually had a plethora of bad breakups. My latest one is only easier because he says he wants me back......uh, someday. I am NOT going to be second choice and I hate that you feel so bad right now. Don't just get over this...get through this. That means, be angry, sad, or any other "bad" emotion you want to. If necessary, try NC again and if you fall down...get up and start again. Unfortunately for us broken hearts, there is no time limit but there IS a limit. In time you will start to let go and know that there is someone wonderful waiting for you out there.
Author McGrupp Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 im really messed up right now.i cant believe i broke NC. i was doing so well. now i feel like the breakup happened yesterday. UGHGHGHGHGH
LovelyDaze Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Remember, being lovelorn is like an addiction. One step at a time, baby. You know now that I am in your shoes and I just wish I can stop thinking about him for AT LEAST one freakin' day. But we will stop...just takes (that awful word...) time.
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