When married people sleep in separate beds, do they still have sex?

[JamesM]

I was wondering this. And no, my wife has not suggested it...yet. I would not doubt if some day down the road when the kids are out, it is mentioned. As of now, she actually does like me in bed with her.

 

But in talking to an older lady (late fifties), she mentioned that she and her husband sleep in separate rooms. I wanted to ask if they ever had sex anymore but didn't. When I asked her something about why, she mentioned how her husband snored. And since all of the kids were gone out of the house, it just made sense.

 

Another couple I know who is also in her late fifties, said she and her husband sleep in separate rooms.

 

I have heard of reasons such as snoring, kicking, one stays up later, etc.

 

SO, anyone here sleep in separate beds or rooms? Do you still have sex? And what is your reason for separating?

 

Do you know of anyone in this kind of arrangement?

 

Can you see yourself sleeping in a separate bedroom from you spouse?

[Lauriebell82]

Thankfully my fiance does not snoar!

 

My ex boyfriend did VERY loudly. A few times I went to sleep on the couch because it was so bad. It did not effect our sex life though. He finally went to sleep doctor and was able to stop.

 

That would be my guess for people who sleep in seperate rooms. Also maybe work schedules. I know that now that I'm not working my fiance gets up at 7 and wakes me up. Then he procedes to try to talk to me and tell me what to clean up while I'm trying to sleep. If a couple slept in seperate rooms they wouldn't have that problem.

[pollswolls]

Several of my friends (late 40's-mid-50's) married couples sleep in separate bedrooms - I hear it's quite common.

And, yes, they still 'have sex.'

 

My husband & I slept in separate bedrooms for probably 4 years - due to his snoring. Come to find out he had sleep apnea. Yep - we still had sex during those years too - just very infrequently.

[TaraMaiden]

My partner and I sleep in separate rooms... And yes, we're talking major snoring problems...coupled with a rampant hippo syndrome hogging the water hole all to himself...I kid you not, I woke up one morning with less than 5" of bed-width to lie on....!

 

But the physics...?

They're good.....!!

[2sure]

When my H and I were still having sex we would often sleep in different rooms. He snores. I hated sleeping without him, but I have to sleep. I tried earplugs, etc. Not surprisingly, he doesnt believe he snores.

[HarmonyHope]

It sounds like some people are saying they share a bed just to keep up appearances for the children. I guess I'm curious why someone would think it would negatively affect the kids to know that their parents sleep in different rooms. Why is that?

 

My grandparents used to sleep in seperate beds, but in the same room. I think that was more of a 1950's hold-over though - the illusion of asexuality like you'd see on TV - Lucy and Ricky had seperate beds too.

[angie2443]

My husband snores loudly. I roll him over on his side and it quites down. I hope it never gets to the point where the rolling over trick doesn't work. I like sleeping in the same bed.

[foreverinlove]

My husband snores loudly and he says I do, too (of course I don't believe that). But, I don't have any problem falling asleep and neither does he. Neither one of us could imagine sleeping in separate beds. We're in our early 60's and still make love a couple of times a week. I guess that helps us fall asleep.

[Lizzie60]

I was wondering this. And no, my wife has not suggested it...yet. I would not doubt if some day down the road when the kids are out, it is mentioned. As of now, she actually does like me in bed with her.

 

But in talking to an older lady (late fifties), she mentioned that she and her husband sleep in separate rooms. I wanted to ask if they ever had sex anymore but didn't. When I asked her something about why, she mentioned how her husband snored. And since all of the kids were gone out of the house, it just made sense.

 

Another couple I know who is also in her late fifties, said she and her husband sleep in separate rooms.

 

I have heard of reasons such as snoring, kicking, one stays up later, etc.

 

SO, anyone here sleep in separate beds or rooms? Do you still have sex? And what is your reason for separating?

 

Do you know of anyone in this kind of arrangement?

 

Can you see yourself sleeping in a separate bedroom from you spouse?

 

btdt.. with my first ex.. He was snoring.. but the truth is that I just didn't want him near me.. so yes we had sex, it was agreed that we would have sex 2 nights a week.. always the same nights... and the rest of the time he would leave me alone. it worked for a while.. then I just couldn't stand looking at him.. even those 2 nights were too much.. I just HATED those 2 nights.. eewwww..

 

So.. methink that older couple.. have separate rooms.. and have very very rarely sex.. I think I was the exception.. twice a week is more than most people have.. but it was pure torture.. for me..

[NoIDidn't]

Some do, some don't - have sex when they sleep in separate rooms that is.

 

I sleep in the same room with my H, but I wish we had another room that I could call my own.

 

Its really not a weird thing. I know of plenty of couples that sleep separately. Of them all, only one is unhappy - but even they do it for medical reasons (he shakes violently ALL THE TIME). The others tell me of how sexy it is when one or the other *visits* in the other's room.

 

I'm not saying its all positive though, just that it doesn't have to be looked at as all negative either.

[quankanne]

Not surprisingly, he doesnt believe he snores.

 

that's your cue to whack him in the stomach everytime he starts chugging like a freight train in his sleep

 

we've slept apart for several years now, his excuse was that I snored. But also because he has weird sleep patterns because of his back problems/medication regimen, and would crawl into bed disrupting my sleep. He's retired, I still work, so that would make for a very beechy quank ... oddly enough, he does still crawl into bed with me to cuddle, or on the rare occasion when Mr. Happy is interested, have sex, but I make him leave after awhile because I'm no longer used to sharing a bed.

 

it does work out well whenever we travel and get a hotel room, I just request a king bed, and we have enough space to move around if we want ...

[threebyfate]

This is extremely Eewwww...but my deceased beloved grandmother and grandfather slept in separate beds, in their later years. And yes, from little hints and comments, they still had sex.

 

The ten year old in me can't help but be revolted!

[Holding-On]

Absolutely they can.

When I was nursing a newborn, I would sleep in a separate bed. My husband is a night owl and I have to get up very early for my job 4 days a week. So sometimes if it is 2 or 3 in the morning or he wants to read a book or watch a movie to get to sleep, he will sleep in the guest room to not waken me. Or if I absolutely don't want to be awoken after a string of sleep problems and don't want to be bumping around in the morning waking him up, I sleep in the guest room (on the main floor).

 

I do like cuddling/sleeping with my husband though so if it is my (3day) weekend or I'm able to handle a bit of waking up I ask him to just slip in when he is ready for bed. Also I got him a bitty light so he can read and a eye cover thing for me.

 

I think in a lot of those older couples' cases there truly may be sleep problems. Lots of people have great difficulty sleeping well when they are older (look at all the pills aimed at the over 50 crowd) and serotonin just doesn't pick up the way it used to so sleep becomes more vital. Or one person likes the bedroom warm and the other likes the window open.

[Malenfant]

i cant imagine me and my H ever having seperate beds. On the very rare occasion we were apart overnight i found it very odd falling asleep alone.

Even if when we're old we dont have sex anymore I cant imagine not still liking a cuddle.

 

My H doesnt snore but he does crack his knuckles in his sleep which sometimes wakes me up... i dont like being woken up to the sound of crunching bones! but i just growl and dig him with my elbow and that seems to do the trick!

[MikeKelly]

Whether the cause is body temperature issues, back problems, snoring or the like, many couples sleep apart. In many cases it's the couch or a spare bedroom, but when you know it's for the long haul and you have the extra available room, you might as well set up camp. And yes, sex does still happen and can be quite exciting sneaking into your wife's room for a midnight rendezvous.

[whichwayisup]

Sometimes my H and I sleep in separate bedrooms. Usually because he snores, I'll give him afew kicks and see if he stops, if he doesn't or if I can't go back to sleep, I'll just go sleep in the guestroom. There are also times when I have trouble sleeping and like to fall asleep with the TV on, he can't stand the noise and light of the TV, so he'll go in the guestroom. If one of us is sick, separate rooms (trust me, we haven't caught a bug from eachother in years) that way the sick person gets their rest and the healthy person doesn't have to hear the sniffing and blowing the nose noises..lol.

 

And yes we do have sex. Ha, let HIM lay in the wet spot afterwards, while I get nice clean sheets in the other room.

[whichwayisup]

Oh and one other reason -GAS. This is actually funny though, sometimes I get gas so bad (makes me laugh as it's loud) but after a while it bugs him so he'll warn me, one more toot and I'm outta here. Well, ofcourse, I do another one, call his bluff, and he actually does take his pillow and go into the other room.

 

James, if you and your wife feel sometimes sleeping apart suits you both, then do it. Just don't read anything negative into it. If you both feel it'll help in the long run (better sleep, abit of space etc) then it could be more productive in the future.

[asireen]

Once the kid was conceived, and no more were planned thereafter, the kid took my place in the bed. I moved to a separate bed, then a separate room. Sex became infrequent, then stopped. She wasnt really interested in the sex aspect anyway, it was just a means to conceive. Now the kid is almost an adult. She wants me to sleep with her, but the train has left the station. I have had several affairs, now I don't want to go back. The alternate option is better. Now ours is what they call "A marriage of convenience". Morally wrong, but then, every story is different.

[NowhereToHide]

My H and I go through phases of sleeping separately.... usually when one of us is sick, if one of the kids is sick, if his snoring gets really bad (which it seems to come and go these days).

 

I have no problem getting up and going to our guest room in order to get some sleep. But not before we have sex first.

 

It doesn't affect the sex life.

[soserious1]

The day I moved to the sofa in frustration because we hadn't had sex in literally months marked the beginning of the end. I slept on that sofa for one entire sexless year before deciding to divorce.