lemondrops Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Hello, I'm hoping for some advice on what I should do in my situation without making matters worse. I had been best friends with a girl for almost 2 years. We talked, texted, hung out, almost every day. There definitely were feelings of more than friendship between us, however we both knew that at the current point in our lives, a relationship would never work, so we never pursued it. The problem is that a second girl, who I was also friends with, was in love with me and was always very jealous of our relationship and absolutely hated her for having my attention. I never mentioned anything to my best friend because I didn't think there was a need to start trouble, until one day my ex-friend decided she was going to become close friends with my best friend to spread lies and rumors about me to split us up and get back at me. Well, it worked. One day my best friend just started acting cold towards me and has since pretty much completely cut me out of her life. No more calls, texts, emails, anything...and no explanation of what I did. I told her that the girl was in love with me and was spreading lies, and she seemed to be cautious of this girl. But I can't for the life of me imagine what she said to cause this behavior and what is going on. I miss my friend and I want her back in my life. I've been avoiding her and not calling or anything because I don't want to push her away....I've just saying hi when we see each other in the halls at school. I did stop her for a minute on her way to class and asked if everything was okay and she seemed distant and just said she doesn't want to talk about it, because it will make her mad. That girl must have said something terrible! Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? Should I just keep avoiding her until I hear from her? Should I send her an email? Does anyone think that I will hear from her again? I want to believe that eventually the truth will come out, and she'll find out that the girl was just lying, but in the meantime, I'm really upset.
Ronni_W Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 It's tough because she's already told you that she doesn't want to talk about it. The only thing that's coming into my head: Do you have a TRUSTED mutual friend who might intervene on your behalf? Like a mediator of sorts? One message that you might want to consider getting through to her is that you miss her in your life, and you are not afraid, and will not hold it against her, if she does "get mad" during the healing/repairing process. (Since that was her reason for not wanting to talk about it at all, it'd be an idea to address that, first. IMO.)
DustySaltus Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This "other" girl is a real winner isn't she? Obviously, the best thing would be if the other girl admitted that these things weren't true. I agree with Ronni that if you have a trusted mutual friend, I would get them involved at some point. At the same time though, if you guys are "best friends" no one else should be able to break that bond. My best friend is like my brother and if someone said something bad about him I would either dismiss it or ask him about it myself. I mean doesn't being someone's best friend mean anything anymore? Tell her how you feel one last time and then leave it alone. Her actions will dictate what she thinks about your friendship. Good luck.
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