star23 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 my ex called me lastnight. It was on my house phone so i was unawre that it was him. We had a long chat about how i was feeling and how he was feeling. He said because he is turning 30, he keeps thinking about what people think about him, That he should be settling down getting married and having kids, but that he is not sure thats what he wants and does not want to waste my time. I explained to him that I dont know if i want those things and that i am only 25 just out of uni and got a proper job. I explained that marriage and kids has not even crossed my mind, that im not sure if it is something that i want or not. Then we started talking about love,. We talked about how we did not know if we were in love or not. I told him that i never felt pressured into having to say that i loved him and assumed he was happy that i was not expecting it from him. We do this thing as a couple, where we say i appreciate you to each other and for me it was not me trying to say i love you because i think if your in love you need to say it you cant hold it in. But because we were both unsure we would say that. He thought that maybe i was saying it because i couldnt say i love you, and i told him that sometimes i feel pressure to say it because all my friends are going on about beinging in love and only been with their boyfriends for like 5 months and we have been together 10 and not said it! But that i never felt pressure from him so was happy. We were kind of both stumped at the end i said we should have no contact for a while and that if he feels like he NEEDS to be in love right now then it wouldnt work , but if he is happy to see where things go then it might. I explained i have no plans when it comes to marrage and kids, all im concentrating on is a career and hopefully seeing more of the world. I told him that we need to decide whether we are happy to see where the ride takes us or go our seperate ways as there was no inbetween, as i would not just be his friend. He says he is happy with that and i feel alot more comfortable too. I just want to know what you guiys thought? do you HAVE to be in love after 10 months? Is there set rules? can you be happy not knowing how you feel but see where it takes you? please help!
Recommended Posts