jj33 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Its not surprising that you blame her, but why do you care if she visits your site? If she cant add comments or post there then who cares? The facts also dont sound good. Your H told you she played with his emotions? Poor baby..... There are lurkers all over the internet. If you banned one email address if she really wanted to visit she could always open another account. And the fact that your H chose that song is pretty vile. How is it she was a cheater and he wasnt? I would take the song off. It shows that you have given far too much thought to her and that she still haunts your marriage. Whether she does or she doesnt, its not information she needs to know.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 ever think the OW is sticking around because her AP is still keeping her around? just a thought. and BTW. I would probably check out my AP's wife's site if she had one. just curiosity.
someonesangel Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 ever think the OW is sticking around because her AP is still keeping her around? just a thought. and BTW. I would probably check out my AP's wife's site if she had one. just curiosity. I do have a business site as does she. They have been on mine... I have been on theirs, lol. Also, we seen each other and she immediately knew me and I mean immediately, not possible from one small pic face.... so she has also been on my FB. No matter, it's fine and expected. I did find it funny when she or he visited right from their company offices...
Fallen Angel Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 First off, you have a public website, PUBLIC right? That means anyone can go to it. If she isnt bothering you just looking at the site, what is the harm here? I say get over it. You are obsessing about a tracker..that isnt healthy. Second, getting your husband involved to show messages that only she can see is just mean. Maybe she is curious. Maybe she uses that in her grief process over the loss of the relationship. Only she knows why she goes there but to directly insult her like that, why I ask? If you think about it, hasnt enough pain already gone around here? Let it go. Third.. this one got me. You are defending your husband, taking up his cause because she supposedly was cheating on him while he was cheating on you? Now really, do you feel sorry for him here like he needs your understanding and support that his ow was cheating on him? Focus on yourself, not on her or what she did or did not do to him. He was in that affair 50% just as her and for you to be cruel to her and give him a free pass also gives him a free pass to do it all again!!!! I too am shocked at this!! Why OP feels the need to defend and protect her husband is beyond me, excpet that by making it all into the OW's fault, it is easier for OP to "forigive" her husband. Because after all, he was an innocent victim, and that mean, horrible, nasty OW chased him and forced him to stay in an affair with her against his poor little helpless will!!! UGH. He was not just 50% responsible. Both the husband and the OW were and ARE 100% responsible for their own actions. Unless the OW held the WH at gunpoint, and I somehow don't see that as a possibility. OP, you need to put your husband's share of the blame directly at his feet, because I agree 100% with outofthedark, by defending him, and making it appear as though he was a victim of some evil OW you are condoning his behaviour, making it more likely that he will repeat it, after all, there are lots of evil OWs out there just waiting to force him into another affair. They are waiting around every corner!!!
NowhereToHide Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 ever think the OW is sticking around because her AP is still keeping her around? just a thought. and BTW. I would probably check out my AP's wife's site if she had one. just curiosity. During my A and immediately after it ended I checked my xAP's wife's website a couple times per week. It's not the kind of site that gives a ton of personal information, but just enough that it kept me looking for awhile. However, having my own website, I know how easy it is to figure out who is visiting. I know she doesn't get very many "hits" to her site, and the last thing I wanted was for her to suddenly get a bunch from me and ask her husband, "hey, don't you think it's weird that I'm getting a bunch of hits from xyz area?". I haven't looked for months. And I won't. I guess that's a good sign that all of this is getting easier for me.
silktricks Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 stuckinoz - I am pretty sure they are no longer in contact, since January of this year. They did do the off again, on again thing that you described. He and I have discussed it extensively and could come up to no conclusion between us as to what to do to get her to get lost. He even helped me come up with stuff to put on the "ban" page...I embedded the song Cheater Cheater (at his suggestion) so that when she went to the page, it blasted away (she lurks while she is at work). . Speaking from experience.... there really isn't anything you can do except wait her out... as long as she isn't doing anything illegal. Visiting your website isn't illegal. Though I rarely agree with Lizzie, this time I do. Take off the tracker. If you don't know she's visiting it won't make you crazy... She will get sick of it eventually. Don't assume that because she's trailing you around that your husband is still seeing her, though, because that will make both of you crazy. Is it possible? yes. Is it probable? who knows. You are a much better judge of that than a bunch of strangers on the internet. There are some OW's who just can't (or won't) let go. They want to believe something... I'm not sure what... but she will get tired of it in time. (It took a LONG time (years) for the AP in my case... but she eventually gave up harassing us.)
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