betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 You are making an assumption that all women view it that way. Maybe you should stop making assumptions about women and take them individually. Or, it's possibly your taste in women. Maybe you prefer really hot, shallow women... Um, no, I assure you, I've never dated a "hot" woman before. Nor would I want to, and yes I'll make assumptions, "hot" women tend to be unpleasant because they don't have to be nice. They still have men kiss their behinds regardless of how horrific they act.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 If you're unemployed because of downsizing, or you're going back to school, or something of that sort, then there is no shame in being unemployed. For the 1000th time, if you are unemployed because you are lazy and it's easier to just sit on your ass at your parents' home and play video games while mom cooks for you and does your laundry, then I want nothing to do with you. You just seem to be taking all us womens' statements very personally, so it's a natural assumption about you. Besides you seem to think I'm an awful person for wanting a man who's responsible and ambitious. Why does he have to be ambitious? To compensate for your lack of ambition?
phineas Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 No. It's about not meeting the right woman for a guy like you. Be glad THOSE women ran, because if it's all about money, would you want them anyway? They're shallow, selfish, greedy, and have an entitlement complex. In my opinion, your situation does not make you "undateable". I think it's respectable what you're doing, and women who don't understand that aren't worth your time. The quality in you that you're doing what you can to make ends meet and take care of your kids is admirable. You don't need a shiny new car as long as it gets you to work and is relatively safe. (haha) A lot of people are paycheck to paycheck. But you are independent and doing what you have to do to be responsible and take care of your kids. THAT is a quality that most quality women would want. It might be that because you have kids. While women expect that you have no problem if they have kids, they don't want you to have kids, especially in your custody. When they say "must like kids" it means her kids, not yours. It could be one of these or all of these. It could even just be me. I'm not particularly worried about it just yet. but this thread made me wonder.
Treasa Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 My boyfriend, who's 30, lives with his mom. He's also very independent and pays half the rent, pays for his food, pays half the utilities, etc. She could get along on her own, and the same for him, but they get along well and have a nice big house. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I also live at home with MY mom (neither of our moms are married), and in my case it's also because I care about my mom and don't want to see her alone, and get along well with her. However, in my case, sometime in the next year my mom will be moving. I might get a side-by-side with her so I can still be near her, but we won't be living together. Ironically, she'll be getting the house with HER mom, so she and my grandma will be living together. The funny thing is that none of us are losers. My mom and I together pull in WELL over six figures a year. We all have full-time jobs, except my grandma, who's retired and owns her own house, and my boyfriend's mom, who's retired and owns her own house. Sometimes families are just close. I consider myself to be well-adjusted, well-educated, compassionate, and independent. The same goes for my boyfriend, who has quite a large savings built up. Moral of the story? Stereotypes suck.
BlueHarvest Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Why does he have to be ambitious? To compensate for your lack of ambition? Because he's got no job, no ambition? You do realize that it's the same on the flip side of the coin right? My ex-girlfriend worked at a Barnes & Nobles after getting out of college. She started off as a manager of one of the departments but didn't do well so they demoted her to a cashier. 3-4 months later (of me dating her, approximately 8 months of her working there) they fired her. Eh, **** happens I thought. Well over the next 5 months she continue to "look" for a job. By look I mean loosely look. And did I mention this entire time she was living with her parents? Oh...and didn't own her own car. She had to share it with her sister who was also living with her parents. My final dealbreaker for our relationship was a lack of passion (9 months of dating and no sex...only heavy making out and petting)...and a lack of motivation. She told me she lied to her parents about finding a job (She found a volunteer job and said that "God had given her a job, even though it didn't pay her anything". Well that's all fine and dandy but God isn't going to pay the electric bill now is he? I like going home, lounging around and playing video games. But that's after working 9 hour days, coming home, paying bills, doing day to day stuff around the house along with the occasional after-hours contract job. I get home, I'm exhausted and just want to relax. I haven't found the right girl for me yet, but I'll be damned if anyone tells me I have no motivation.
northstar1 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Because he's got no job, no ambition? You do realize that it's the same on the flip side of the coin right? My ex-girlfriend worked at a Barnes & Nobles after getting out of college. She started off as a manager of one of the departments but didn't do well so they demoted her to a cashier. 3-4 months later (of me dating her, approximately 8 months of her working there) they fired her. Eh, **** happens I thought. Well over the next 5 months she continue to "look" for a job. By look I mean loosely look. And did I mention this entire time she was living with her parents? Oh...and didn't own her own car. She had to share it with her sister who was also living with her parents. My final dealbreaker for our relationship was a lack of passion (9 months of dating and no sex...only heavy making out and petting)...and a lack of motivation. She told me she lied to her parents about finding a job (She found a volunteer job and said that "God had given her a job, even though it didn't pay her anything". Well that's all fine and dandy but God isn't going to pay the electric bill now is he? I like going home, lounging around and playing video games. But that's after working 9 hour days, coming home, paying bills, doing day to day stuff around the house along with the occasional after-hours contract job. I get home, I'm exhausted and just want to relax. I haven't found the right girl for me yet, but I'll be damned if anyone tells me I have no motivation. This. You should receive compensation for putting up with that.
ADF Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Living at home is usually a huge red flag as far as women are concerned. At least if you are over a certain age. Not always; there are exceptions. The sad thing is that the economic situation today makes it much harder for an adult to gain a foothold in the ecomony and move out. Adults living at home with their families is becoming much more common than it was, say, 50 years ago. Unfortunately, public perceptions haven't caught up to the new reality yet.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Because he's got no job, no ambition? You do realize that it's the same on the flip side of the coin right? My ex-girlfriend worked at a Barnes & Nobles after getting out of college. She started off as a manager of one of the departments but didn't do well so they demoted her to a cashier. 3-4 months later (of me dating her, approximately 8 months of her working there) they fired her. Eh, **** happens I thought. Well over the next 5 months she continue to "look" for a job. By look I mean loosely look. And did I mention this entire time she was living with her parents? Oh...and didn't own her own car. She had to share it with her sister who was also living with her parents. My final dealbreaker for our relationship was a lack of passion (9 months of dating and no sex...only heavy making out and petting)...and a lack of motivation. She told me she lied to her parents about finding a job (She found a volunteer job and said that "God had given her a job, even though it didn't pay her anything". Well that's all fine and dandy but God isn't going to pay the electric bill now is he? I like going home, lounging around and playing video games. But that's after working 9 hour days, coming home, paying bills, doing day to day stuff around the house along with the occasional after-hours contract job. I get home, I'm exhausted and just want to relax. I haven't found the right girl for me yet, but I'll be damned if anyone tells me I have no motivation. I know plenty of women who do that, and they eventually find a guy who puts up with it, whereas no women would put up with that in a guy... A friend of mine's ex couldn't hold down a job, she was so unrealiable, wouldn't show up to work on time, or at all, gets fired. Immediately moves in with guys she dates. She became a stripped, was unreliable even at that, and would constantly get not show up for work. He breaks up with her, kicks her out. She immediately moves in with someone else. Men will enable women like this, so she'll never have to be responsible, to take work seriously, because there's always the next guy. Very few men have the luxury to be that irresponsible, though if they do, they put it on their parents, not on a significant other. An ex girlfriend of mine is in her mid thirties and has probably not worked a real job in 5 years. All she does is party. Or as they call it "promoting".
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I know plenty of women who do that, and they eventually find a guy who puts up with it, whereas no women would put up with that in a guy... A friend of mine's ex couldn't hold down a job, she was so unrealiable, wouldn't show up to work on time, or at all, gets fired. Immediately moves in with guys she dates. She became a stripped, was unreliable even at that, and would constantly get not show up for work. He breaks up with her, kicks her out. She immediately moves in with someone else. Men will enable women like this, so she'll never have to be responsible, to take work seriously, because there's always the next guy. Very few men have the luxury to be that irresponsible, though if they do, they put it on their parents, not on a significant other. An ex girlfriend of mine is in her mid thirties and has probably not worked a real job in 5 years. All she does is party. Or as they call it "promoting". Well, I don't find that acceptable either. Your friend's behavior I mean. But maybe if guys weren't so worried about finding a nice piece of tail all the time, women like that wouldn't get away with it either.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well, I don't find that acceptable either. Your friend's behavior I mean. But maybe if guys weren't so worried about finding a nice piece of tail all the time, women like that wouldn't get away with it either. I told him he was an idiot for dating her. She was all sorts of red flags, and I told him this is gonna be bad, but she got a place to live, he got sex, it both worked out for them while it lasted. She's also absolutely insane. when he kicked her out, she punched her arm through a window and really messed up her arm... I don't care how good looking a chick is, I would NEVER, EVER, in a million years, want someone like her. She was also quite stupid too, and made no effort in anything she tried. Oh, and she had a problem with her thinking people thought she was stupid, but would never do anything to actually become educated or informed on any issue. So she wanted people to think she was smart, but to not actually have to do anything to get educated.
Lizzie60 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 JUST what I thought! Such predictability. Oups.. dm.. 2nd time you quote yourself and answer your own post.. ha-hem.. are you shifting usernames??
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Oups.. dm.. 2nd time you quote yourself and answer your own post.. ha-hem.. are you shifting usernames?? Nope. Just re-stating my position. I think I know who this guy is.
Leia Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Nope. Just re-stating my position. I think I know who this guy is. You're not alone! It's too easy
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Nope. Just re-stating my position. I think I know who this guy is. I've never thrown a punch in my entire life, so I don't think I'd be a very good boxer.
tigressA Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 My boyfriend still lives at home; he'll be 25 next month. He has a M-F, 9-5 job. He doesn't pay anything for rent/utilities but he does help out around the house, does his own laundry, runs errands, etc. He pays for his car and credit card bills and has quite a bit of money in the bank. He could get his own place now, but is more concerned with getting a newer car first. As far as it being a downer on our relationship, it really isn't. I'm not fully independent myself yet, at 22 and still being in school, living on-campus. He comes to visit me at school every other weekend; I have a single room in my on-campus house. On holidays I've stayed at his family's house, which is nice--they have a guest room. I think if I were dating an older guy right now, say, 30--I would be a bit concerned if he was still living at home if it wasn't a caretaker sort of situation, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker whatsoever unless he didn't have a job AND wasn't actively looking for one, didn't contribute to the household in any way, etc.
aerogurl87 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 It's much easier for women who are unemployed and living with their parents to date than it is for men to. That's absolute fact. In fact, women tend to date more when they lose their jobs. And yes, the economy is terrible now, but it's still widely acceptable for women to live at home to save money, and men are losers if they do the same. Question for the women out there. Do you live at home to save money? Would you date a guy who does to for the same reason? If not, why is it okay for you to live at home, but not him? (and the "where would we be alone?" won't cut it. Why is it his responsiblity to provide that place if you choose to live with your parents? I live at home now to save money up for school until I can find a full time job, then I'm gonna be out of my house ASAP. If my parents weren't always trying to "convert" me then I'd stay home till I graduated from college, so I could have more money saved up and possibly buy a condo, but with the way things are here I can't take it much any longer. As I said earlier, my boyfriend lives at home with his parents and I'm fine with it. But 1) he has a plan to move out and 2) he's not just living there for free. He pays basically the same amount for a decent one bedroom apartment in my city to his parents in rent money. And he has a good job now so he'll be able to make it on his own when he does leave his parents' place (unlike his siblings who have his parents paying off their debt). So basically he is responsible and I like that quality. I'd rather have a man who is responsible with his money and living at home than a man who lives on his own, but doesn't know how to budget responsibly and is sinking more and more into debt each day. But that's just me.
alphamale Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 No chance with the Ladies if you're living back home? dude if you've got game you could live in a cardboard box under the freeway overpass and still score with some women...
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 dude if you've got game you could live in a cardboard box under the freeway overpass and still score with some women... True, both menedez brothers got married while serving time in prison for kiling their parents.
carhill Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Prisoners score far better with women than homeless people
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Prisoners score far better with women than homeless people TRue. THey have fixed addresses where the love letters can be mailed to.
carhill Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Also, they are better groomed, have money and are taken care of 24/7. Kinda like living with mom.
Author Scorpio13c Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 Just so everyone knows, I moved back after splitting with my ex last year, I've since paid off all my debts & saving for a down payment on a new place. I also pay my Mother rent, whom I'd rather her get then some landlord. It's funny, I've met two other women my age, who are back home with their parents, never bothered me when they told me. Btw, I don't "Mooch" off of my Mother.
Author Scorpio13c Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 dude if you've got game you could live in a cardboard box under the freeway overpass and still score with some women... You're absolutely right Man! She did come over & everything seems great!
aerogurl87 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 You're absolutely right Man! She did come over & everything seems great! See! Some women don't mind a man living at home as long as he's not a lazy bum.
Author Scorpio13c Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 See! Some women don't mind a man living at home as long as he's not a lazy bum. Thank you Aero!
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