donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I cannot prove evolution either, but pretty much everyone believes it. Show me where men who are unemployed and living at home have an easy time of getting dates? You can't seriously believe that, can you? Well, I can tell you how I would feel, and it would be ALL about the effort he is making to either get a job or get government loans to go to school. OR, if he were living at his folks' house because they NEEDED him because of age, medical reasons, whatever - and were willing to pay his living expenses because of it and, as a result, he actually did lots of things for them. Are you still missing that? Is there any other way Stace and I can explain it that would make the light come on for everyone? It's about intentions and EFFORT!!!!
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 It's much easier for women who are unemployed and living with their parents to date than it is for men to. That's absolute fact. In fact, women tend to date more when they lose their jobs. Question for the women out there. Do you live at home to save money? Would you date a guy who does to for the same reason? If not, why is it okay for you to live at home, but not him? (and the "where would we be alone?" won't cut it. Why is it his responsiblity to provide that place if you choose to live with your parents? 1. It is not fact that it's easier for women to live at home and still date. And if it is in your world, then maybe you should be choosier about the women you date. 2. I have lived at home to save money (as I stated previously). And I have already outlined when I would find no shame in a man living at home, and when I would avoid him like the plague. 3. "Where would we be alone" has never entered in to the equation for me. It is all about wanting someone dependable to be your partner in life. I cannot choose a partner whose response in tough times is to run home to mom and dad, with no plan for getting back his independence. If you are sitting at home -- male OR female -- and mooching off your parents with no intention of getting out on your own again, then no, I'm not interested. If you know that in X months or years, you can save money and you know where you're going, then yes, let's chat.
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I see that could of come out the wrong way. When I say nice car I mean something that is relatively new. Not fancy or expensive. When I say money I mean can afford to go out. Not drop mad cash on the town. My situation is I'm getting divorced, own a fairly nice home. A house I renovated on my own. I have decent job for where I live. My car is in good shape but it's 9 yrs old & has a few dings in it. It's reliable & gets me from a to b. however, I got two small kids most of the time, The cost of taxes & utilities is outpacing my pay raises so I really can't afford much of a social life & sometimes I am paycheck to paycheck. I'm not really interested in dateing because of my situation. I get women interested in me but they seem to disapear when they realize just how short on cash I usually am. I just chalked it up to not meeting the right women but now I don't know. No. It's about not meeting the right woman for a guy like you. Be glad THOSE women ran, because if it's all about money, would you want them anyway? They're shallow, selfish, greedy, and have an entitlement complex.
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I see that could of come out the wrong way. When I say nice car I mean something that is relatively new. Not fancy or expensive. When I say money I mean can afford to go out. Not drop mad cash on the town. My situation is I'm getting divorced, own a fairly nice home. A house I renovated on my own. I have decent job for where I live. My car is in good shape but it's 9 yrs old & has a few dings in it. It's reliable & gets me from a to b. however, I got two small kids most of the time, The cost of taxes & utilities is outpacing my pay raises so I really can't afford much of a social life & sometimes I am paycheck to paycheck. I'm not really interested in dateing because of my situation. I get women interested in me but they seem to disapear when they realize just how short on cash I usually am. I just chalked it up to not meeting the right women but now I don't know. In my opinion, your situation does not make you "undateable". I think it's respectable what you're doing, and women who don't understand that aren't worth your time. The quality in you that you're doing what you can to make ends meet and take care of your kids is admirable. You don't need a shiny new car as long as it gets you to work and is relatively safe. (haha) A lot of people are paycheck to paycheck. But you are independent and doing what you have to do to be responsible and take care of your kids. THAT is a quality that most quality women would want.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I see that could of come out the wrong way. When I say nice car I mean something that is relatively new. Not fancy or expensive. When I say money I mean can afford to go out. Not drop mad cash on the town. My situation is I'm getting divorced, own a fairly nice home. A house I renovated on my own. I have decent job for where I live. My car is in good shape but it's 9 yrs old & has a few dings in it. It's reliable & gets me from a to b. however, I got two small kids most of the time, The cost of taxes & utilities is outpacing my pay raises so I really can't afford much of a social life & sometimes I am paycheck to paycheck. I'm not really interested in dateing because of my situation. I get women interested in me but they seem to disapear when they realize just how short on cash I usually am. I just chalked it up to not meeting the right women but now I don't know. It might be that because you have kids. While women expect that you have no problem if they have kids, they don't want you to have kids, especially in your custody. When they say "must like kids" it means her kids, not yours.
Lizzie60 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 No chance with the Ladies if you're living back home? Well that depends.. if you're still at university.. then it's OK... but if you're over 40.. then naahhh.. not a good idea.. It all depends on YOUR situation. it's not a one-size fits all sitch..
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 While women expect that you have no problem if they have kids, they don't want you to have kids, especially in your custody. When they say "must like kids" it means her kids, not yours. This guy sounds familiar. Are you a boxer?
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 That's a good point. In fact, it was irresponsiblity, financially, that caused this financial mess. People buying homes they didn't need, with money they didn't have, to impress people they don't even like was behind this. So getting upside down in a mortgage is the non lazy, responsible thing to do???? The economy is SERIOUSLY damaged, probably will never recover, and we never can go back to the way things were. Irresponsibility created this mess, and it appears that you have to be irresponsible to get a date these days. But if you work hard, you can find a way to be independent AND responsible. That's sort of called being an adult... I knew I couldn't afford to buy my own house or condo several years ago, so I rented. If you can't afford to rent on your own, then get a roomie or two. I would rather date a guy who's working hard, and shares a place with another guy or two, than a guy who refuses to move out of his parents' home. I mean, seriously, are you going to date long-term, eventually propose to a woman, and say "honey we're gonna live in mom and dad's basement?" Doubt many women are going to go for that...
espec10001 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This thread really shows why Americans are so despised by the rest of the world and although this country has a lot to offer, sometimes I am completely embarrassed by the pervasive materialism of this country. I work, I make money, I help those in need. But seriously, at what point did the kind of car or size of the house a person has become more important than the person they are? I would like to think my fellow Americans might wake up some day and see the two classes in this country: the working class and the ruling class. We're working class, we're in debt, and we ain't gonna be the 1% that holds all the power and money in this country. I for one do not want to produce children who are slaves to this system so we have to work together to change it. All those with their own homes and property and 20 cars and all sorts of insurance: good for you. But in reality what does it mean? For all you know tomorrow they could be taken away from you and all that you worked for is no longer yours. So why do these things matter so much to Americans?
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This thread really shows why Americans are so despised by the rest of the world and although this country has a lot to offer, sometimes I am completely embarrassed by the pervasive materialism of this country. I work, I make money, I help those in need. But seriously, at what point did the kind of car or size of the house a person has become more important than the person they are? I would like to think my fellow Americans might wake up some day and see the two classes in this country: the working class and the ruling class. We're working class, we're in debt, and we ain't gonna be the 1% that holds all the power and money in this country. I for one do not want to produce children who are slaves to this system so we have to work together to change it. All those with their own homes and property and 20 cars and all sorts of insurance: good for you. But in reality what does it mean? For all you know tomorrow they could be taken away from you and all that you worked for is no longer yours. So why do these things matter so much to Americans? You lack reading comprehension. I don't need a man with 20 cars. Or a 6000 sft house. I want a man who is able to take care of himself. When bad things happen he can pick himself up by the bootstraps and keep going, finding ways to make things work. If you need to accept help from family or friends temporarily, then you do that. But I do NOT want a man who takes his ball and literally goes home to mom and dad forever.
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well, I can tell you how I would feel, and it would be ALL about the effort he is making to either get a job or get government loans to go to school. OR, if he were living at his folks' house because they NEEDED him because of age, medical reasons, whatever - and were willing to pay his living expenses because of it and, as a result, he actually did lots of things for them. Are you still missing that? Is there any other way Stace and I can explain it that would make the light come on for everyone? It's about intentions and EFFORT!!! BUMP because ESPEC isn't READING WHAT WE ARE TYPING. Again - good gawd.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 But if you work hard, you can find a way to be independent AND responsible. That's sort of called being an adult... I knew I couldn't afford to buy my own house or condo several years ago, so I rented. If you can't afford to rent on your own, then get a roomie or two. I would rather date a guy who's working hard, and shares a place with another guy or two, than a guy who refuses to move out of his parents' home. I mean, seriously, are you going to date long-term, eventually propose to a woman, and say "honey we're gonna live in mom and dad's basement?" Doubt many women are going to go for that... Do you realize there are people on this planet that get barely enough food to survive, and live in mud shacks, in refugee camps, with no electricity and water, and you're worried about living in some guy's basement? This only happens in societies where there's so much excess, you take things so for granted, you think living in my dad's basement is worse than death. Meanwhile, people are being killed in Darfur due to their race, people who likely will never even live in a place that has running water.. You really need to see the world abit, open your eyes. I've travelled the entire world, and seen some complete and total abject poverty. And when I hear about americans whining that their lives are not perfect, it really makes me sick to my stomach.
bean1 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This thread really shows why Americans are so despised by the rest of the world and although this country has a lot to offer, sometimes I am completely embarrassed by the pervasive materialism of this country. ? LOL really? Sorry, I'm not American, and I wouldn't date a guy who lived at home either. There are many, many cultures where it is not normal to live at home after 20 or so. It isn't exclusive to America. So what? I married a guy who moved out at 18. I moved out at 17. We are compatible in that way. I don't care if a man lives at home - he can find some other girl to date. We aren't compatible.
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) Do you realize there are people on this planet that get barely enough food to survive, and live in mud shacks, in refugee camps, with no electricity and water, and you're worried about living in some guy's basement? This only happens in societies where there's so much excess, you take things so for granted, you think living in my dad's basement is worse than death. Meanwhile, people are being killed in Darfur due to their race, people who likely will never even live in a place that has running water.. You really need to see the world abit, open your eyes. I've travelled the entire world, and seen some complete and total abject poverty. And when I hear about americans whining that their lives are not perfect, it really makes me sick to my stomach. Because people in Darfur face genocide and kids in Africa are dying of malaria and HIV/AIDS, I shouldn't be allowed to refuse to date a man who mooches off his parents? Pretty big leap there. Edited October 28, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 You lack reading comprehension. I don't need a man with 20 cars. Or a 6000 sft house. I want a man who is able to take care of himself. When bad things happen he can pick himself up by the bootstraps and keep going, finding ways to make things work. If you need to accept help from family or friends temporarily, then you do that. But I do NOT want a man who takes his ball and literally goes home to mom and dad forever. So don't date a guy who lives with his parents. Case closed. However, there are plenty of guys who live on their own, who rent, or who have roommates, but that isn't considered "impressive" enough. Where I live, if you have roommate and are above the age of 28, you're a "loser". And this is one of the most expensive areas in the country too.
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Do you realize there are people on this planet that get barely enough food to survive, and live in mud shacks, in refugee camps, with no electricity and water, That's a different thread. Go post about that in the political forum.
bean1 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 And I dated a guy who lived at home once.. for 3 years.. it was irritating spending time there with his whole family over. Ick. Not for me. His now-wife was fine with it, so he married her. See, it works out for everyone?
carhill Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This guy sounds familiar. Are you a boxer? Hkizzle? Hmm...
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 This guy sounds familiar. Are you a boxer? JUST what I thought! Such predictability.
betamanlet Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 So apparently you can't find a job, Mr. Licensed Attorney, and you still live at home. Is that the problem here? Because people in Darfur face genocide and kids in Africa are dying of malaria and HIV/AIDS, I shouldn't be allowed to refuse to date a man who mooches off his parents? Pretty big leap there. Pretend I didn't have a job, I'm a "loser" right? But if you didn't have a job, and if a guy held that against you, he's a shallow, jerk, right? Notice the double standard here? And what's with the insults, clearly you hold unemployment and living with parents in low regard, for men. Hence you accuse me of being unemployed and living with my parents, yet try to claim it's not that big of a deal, but you used it as an insult, kinda contradicting yourself, wouldn't you say?
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 So don't date a guy who lives with his parents. Case closed. However, there are plenty of guys who live on their own, who rent, or who have roommates, but that isn't considered "impressive" enough. Where I live, if you have roommate and are above the age of 28, you're a "loser". And this is one of the most expensive areas in the country too. You are making an assumption that all women view it that way. Maybe you should stop making assumptions about women and take them individually. Or, it's possibly your taste in women. Maybe you prefer really hot, shallow women...
espec10001 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 You lack reading comprehension. I don't need a man with 20 cars. Or a 6000 sft house. I want a man who is able to take care of himself. When bad things happen he can pick himself up by the bootstraps and keep going, finding ways to make things work. If you need to accept help from family or friends temporarily, then you do that. But I do NOT want a man who takes his ball and literally goes home to mom and dad forever. You lack critical thinking skills. NO ONE, except the ruling class, is independent. You depend on a paycheck, or you depend on some corporation or government to feed and house you. You are always going to depend on a "mommy" or "daddy", whether you are male or female. So it started out when this country was more prosperous that the "mommies" and "daddies" (conglomerates) were more generous, and thus it was a little easier to get that decent home and car and raise a family. Now, the ruling class is not so generous and when they keep taking and taking from both men and women and sooner or later you'll have nothing because it was all taken from you by "mommy" and "daddy".
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Pretend I didn't have a job, I'm a "loser" right? But if you didn't have a job, and if a guy held that against you, he's a shallow, jerk, right? Notice the double standard here? And what's with the insults, clearly you hold unemployment and living with parents in low regard, for men. Hence you accuse me of being unemployed and living with my parents, yet try to claim it's not that big of a deal, but you used it as an insult, kinda contradicting yourself, wouldn't you say? If you're unemployed because of downsizing, or you're going back to school, or something of that sort, then there is no shame in being unemployed. For the 1000th time, if you are unemployed because you are lazy and it's easier to just sit on your ass at your parents' home and play video games while mom cooks for you and does your laundry, then I want nothing to do with you. You just seem to be taking all us womens' statements very personally, so it's a natural assumption about you. Besides you seem to think I'm an awful person for wanting a man who's responsible and ambitious.
stace79 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Never mind. It's useless. You're so right. I may as well give up and have zero standards. Otherwise we are awful women.
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