Grinning Maniac Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 So here's the situation. I'm in art school. There's a girl in my painting class who I've had a crush on since class started. I'd been making conversation with her lately and I asked her on a date last week. We went out for sushi/hibachi on Saturday night and had an awesome time. Lots of laughs, good conversation. Teasing each other a lot. We kissed a few times near the end of the night. I figured I was in like Flynn. Next time I see her in class (Monday morning), she's acting weird. Not as giddy as she usually is. We didn't talk much at all. When I asked her if something was wrong she said it would take too long to explain. The next day I decided to ask again via email if she'd let me know what was wrong. She said that she didn't think she should be dating because she "had a lot of **** going on". Wasn't sure what she meant but I replied and said that it was cool and I wouldn't mind cooling things off. Suggested us just occasionally hanging out and getting to know each other more. Invited her to come make jack-o-lanterns with me this week. But I also asked what sort of "****" she meant. She replied: "Past relationship stuff. There's this marine..." Ah, so now things get complicated. I never asked how long she'd been single. Not sure if that means she still has feelings for an ex and she feels it's wrong to date given that, or if an old flame is pursuing her. Not even sure that matters. So now I'm wondering what to do... A) Just forget about it and call it a loss. Don't flirt with her anymore. Date other girls. B) Put her on the backburner. Follow through on the idea of still hanging out with her from time to time, but not put moves on her. See what happens. C) Same as "B", but hang out with her one last time with this jack-o-lantern thing. Make a good impression, but at the end of the evening, tell her that I've changed my mind and don't think it's proper for me to be hanging out with her during such a complicated situation. Give her a long kiss goodbye to remember me by. Ring her up in a month or two, see if the situation has changed. SILVER LINING: After getting the email that said she didn't think she should be dating, I went downstairs to lunch. Saw this other girl that I like, but hadn't asked out yet. We ate lunch and talked for while. Before she left I asked if she wanted to go see a movie with me sometime. She smiled and said "Sure!"
JustLooking123 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Go with A. She told you that she didn't think she should be dating. Listen to her and move on. Sounds like you have other options, so that's good.
whattodoooo Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Go with A. She told you that she didn't think she should be dating. Listen to her and move on. Sounds like you have other options, so that's good. i agree, if you continue to hang out with her you most likely will end up getting hurt. if you continue to pursue her she might give in and date you but she will still have her ex drama tagging behind her which could end up in a messy love triangle.
Barby Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 i agree "move on":bunny: this girl obviously has issues that are causing her much confusion. I wouldn't even bother getting involved in the mix. Take out this other girl and see what happens. Leave "not ready to date" alone in her confusion. If she clears it up then maybe she'll be ready to date...if not..."do you really want to be the "rebound guy"?
callingyouuu Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Start off with A, but after a few weeks start gauging interest from time to time and try to slow into B. I think there's a chance she's moderately interested, but she definitely needs a bit of time for now.
Roxanna Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 She said she doesn't want to date you right now, so take her at face value. Leave her alone, completely.
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