nekoxchaos Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well I hadn't had contact with my ex for a week and I broke it by initiating contact . I know I should waited till I got contacted. Anyways things began casually, then he brought about how sorry he was about how things went down and its ok if I were upset at him ( he dumped me ). I tried to keep it calm and casual. But then I slowly started to say things how I regret this and that, well the conversation ended with a good night and how he didn't regret anything. So im not sure if this ruins the possibility of further contact, do you guys think he'd want to talk to me anymore? I know I should have kept it casual x(
muse08 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Well I hadn't had contact with my ex for a week and I broke it by initiating contact . I know I should waited till I got contacted. Anyways things began casually, then he brought about how sorry he was about how things went down and its ok if I were upset at him ( he dumped me ). I tried to keep it calm and casual. But then I slowly started to say things how I regret this and that, well the conversation ended with a good night and how he didn't regret anything. So im not sure if this ruins the possibility of further contact, do you guys think he'd want to talk to me anymore? I know I should have kept it casual x( first of all, why did he dump you?
Author nekoxchaos Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 well we've been having some fights, and his studying abroad now. Sometimes I would get jelous and upset over little things, mainly I also say negative things about myself. But he felt like he wasn't happy anymore and that we weren't working out, when we usually get into fights I would beg and plead ( which I know realize pushes them away ). During the breakup he apologized alot. We broke up 2 weeks ago, a week before our 1yr anniversary. I haven't contacted until today, and this is probably the longest we haven't talked since we were together.
muse08 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 well we've been having some fights, and his studying abroad now. Sometimes I would get jelous and upset over little things, mainly I also say negative things about myself. But he felt like he wasn't happy anymore and that we weren't working out, when we usually get into fights I would beg and plead ( which I know realize pushes them away ). During the breakup he apologized alot. We broke up 2 weeks ago, a week before our 1yr anniversary. I haven't contacted until today, and this is probably the longest we haven't talked since we were together. from what you've just told me i can't figure out the nature of your entire relationship. however, long distance relationships put a strain on any relationship in a big way. i don't think you should make yourself think that you complained about little things if the things were significant to YOU. when he said he didn't regret anything. did he mean he didn't regret the relationship issues or was he saying that he didn't regret breaking up with you? if it's the latter you may need to just chill out for a bit.because he sounds serious about not wanting to be in the relationship anymore. the fact that he broke up with you says a bit. you may want to just let him be for now since he wanted the breakup.unless you did something WRONG to him,you have no need to initiate contact with him.sit back and see what his actions will be in the next few days(DAYS).if weeks go by,there's a greater chance that he may end up seeing someone else.same with you...
Back2dabasics Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 if he would want to talk to you, he would contact you first. you made the mistake of breaking NC. but its not the end of the world lol. dont slip next time. you already made the first move, now lets see if he makes another move. if he doesn't then he doesn't wanna talk to you and you should move on. if he does, then I guess he would want to work things out.
Author nekoxchaos Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Well i send him a email after the conversation, he responded today saying it was ok that we talked but that we shouldn't talk again for a while, and to wait and see what happens. He also said he felt really bad about how i felt I lost my dignity and self respect and how he respects me , he also said he was worried about me during the time we weren't talking and glad to hear from me last night. Well I don't know what will happen but I have to be strong for myself....
muse08 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) you're right. you seem pretty strong. remember you are worth being with someone who has not regrets and is sure. he sounds like he's hurt about something that happened. so i think you've left something out but as long as you are aware of that you will know that time heals all wounds. don't feel too badi initially broke up with my ex for a few reasons. and i broke NC w/ him last week after 7 days.i was so disgusted with myself.i answered his call and shouldn't have b/c he has become very spiteful and i feel as though he only wants to make me feel the hurt that he reminds me he felt. so i still care for him and want to text him even right now but it seems to be a cycle going on that i don't like.he's being real passive right now so there's nothing for me to do...same in your situation. you will get stronger each day and he may become less resistant. and if it's meant to be it will be. it doesn't make me feel better to hear that but your case may be more salvageable than mine. Edited October 29, 2009 by muse08
Author nekoxchaos Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Yes, his studying abroad but will be back December. I remember feeling like I wouldn't be able to handle a day not talking to him, but now that I've gone a week ... it isn't so bad after all. It only makes me regret being so clingy and needy in the first place, I wish I trusted myself more to be strong so most of the arguments/ fights wouldn't have escalated to this point. Well we shall hang in there =) and be strong for ourselves.
muse08 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Yes, his studying abroad but will be back December. I remember feeling like I wouldn't be able to handle a day not talking to him, but now that I've gone a week ... it isn't so bad after all. It only makes me regret being so clingy and needy in the first place, I wish I trusted myself more to be strong so most of the arguments/ fights wouldn't have escalated to this point. Well we shall hang in there =) and be strong for ourselves. yes we shall. it starts with not beating yourself up. give yourself some time to grieve. also, know that he is missing out. additionally, who knows what the future holds... think about whether you really care to be with him again or not.you know? just relax, breathe and rediscover what makes you happy outside of that relationship.
Author nekoxchaos Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 so yesterday my ex aimed me out of nowhere after sending me an email saying we shouldnt talk for a while. I was hesitant and waited to reply, and he goes its ok if I dont want to talk... well he kept talking so it was pretty casual and then he slipped out that his glad were talking again and had a smiley face. I felt it was kind of wierd..but I was glad at that time too. Today i had doubts again and send him an email telling him not to talk to me unless he wants to work things out esp if he plans on hooking up with someone else etc etc .... so he replied saying I'm right and his not ready to talk about working things out YET. Which I'm fine because I knew he wasn't ready and was perplexed by the fact that he talked to me anyways, well as much as my email sounded harsh , I'm glad I made it clear and I feel better about it.
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