Bulldozed Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 lack of communication is what doomed my ex and I. I had a miserable summer (09), due to Automotive Job insecurity....despite this...I kept us busy, active (concerts, wknds up north at my cottage)...all seemed great. In fact in June, she thanked me for taking her telling "we really needed this time together"....well apparently sometime in July between the concerts, job stress (both hers and mine), she began to start having mixed emotions....rather then talking with me about these issues like adults would, she instead texted me out of the blue, during my workday. I usually retorted back, I REFUSE to text on this...if you want to talk, then lets do it....despite continuing on with our talks of her moving in as well as wedding plans, out of the blue (end of August) she tells me she wants us to "take a break" for a while, so she can get her mind straight...focus on her job...blahblahblah.....now she's sleeping with her former "good friends" ex-husband.....despite this being a fact, she has yet to admit it to anyone, including her closest friends....she's living in shame and embarrassment, I can completely understand why. It's FU**KING Taboo to ever do something like that...she was friends with this turds wife for nearly 20yrs, stood up in her wedding.....the 4 of us have hung out before. This is something I never believed for a second she was capable of doing to me, considering we've been friends for 15yrs. I've had long termers before (4 & 6 yrs) but this one being only 2 yrs, is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with....
Thebob Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 jesus that is horrible, how do you know that she is sleeping with him? do you have a secret source or what? Obviously she doesn't respect what you want, and how hard your tryin to make this work. If she actually cared for you she would have never done this. I would start NC immediately so she can reflect on her actions and have her come crawling back to you once she realizes how much she screwed up. You don't deserve that man, and this obviously shows that your friends cannot be trusted. Are you sure they weren't sneaking around before for awhile now? I would honestly start No contact though and see how it goes from there. You need to get your mind straight and I understand where your coming from. No one deserves the **** your goin through. Thebob
Author Bulldozed Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Thanks Bob. I know they're sleeping together, the guy lives less than 2 miles from my house. I made the mistake one early morning on the way to a sales call, and cut down his street (as I've done before during our time together), and there was her car, parked in front of his as he leaves for work earlier than she. Were they sneaking around behind my back? No idea? I'd like to think I know her fairly well and she wouldn't do that? Either way, I had a complete physical last week, full on STD test, so i'm not taking any chances. All she'll tell her closest friend is, the two of them are going to dinner once in a while, and hanging out. She won't admit anything to anyone. My email 3 or 4 wks blasted her for lying, deceiving and basically telling her i don't think her friend would appreciate the fact that she's screwing her ex-husband.....she said I really hurt her w/that note, yet I'm pretty confident the two of them aren't scrapbooking together til the wee hours. The same friend she won't confide in, we were talking in early August about having her be my girls maid of honor for our wedding.....how fu'd up is that...I'm doing the NC now, officially. I sent her a note last week basically apologizing for my harsh email....to which I found out yesterday from her friend that she said, I got an email, but he didn't say the two words I was looking for...."I'm Sorry"....instead, I basically told her how I was ashamed of myself for ever sending such a note, and that I've never spoken to her like that before....then I went on to extend some well wishes to her. If that's not an apology, I don't what is?
Thebob Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 you don't need to apologize to her, she ****ed your best friend. Why should she deserve an apology? I would of immediately removed her from my life and blocked her from everything. Take that NC action and if you need any help, type on this forum and I will try my best to help you out man. stay strong
Author Bulldozed Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Thebob - it wasn't my best she boned....it was one of her good friends recently divorced, ex husband.....my friends have far too much character to ever allow themselves to involved with one another's estranged spouses, no matter how badly she reach out for support. She know's what she's done....my apology was only for the harshness, not the content. I didn't deny I single thing I said to her. Appreciate the support bro!
Author Bulldozed Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 sorry for the typo's....didn't proof it.
Thebob Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 sorry for the mis-readi! but ya man go NC and dont look back, write on the forum if you need any more help broski.. Thebob
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