threebyfate Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Congrats lady! So happy to hear that, and in that case I can get behind the new user name. I do appreciate you keeping the initials though, keeps things simple. Oy vey if only I could drive a conversation for a change. Another problem is that she interrupts constantly and then accuses me of repeating myself when I'm only trying to finish my original thought.Thanks and yes, that was the intent. I was completely disinterested in hiding behind a new username. She's all about emotion. Impulsive, impatient, self-centric, stubborn and what she "feels" right now. I'm guessing she's a bit of an introvert, in that she's always looking inwards, not very interested in the impact of her own actions on others. Point blank, IMO, she's a little spoiled. But then, she's also pretty young and youth can give you a certainty of rightness, that doesn't always reflect true, in reality. Have you tried to appeal to her from the perspective "[insert her action(s)] makes me feel like [insert your feelings]"? In this instance, it would be similar to "Plse stop interrupting. When I get interrupted a lot, it makes me lose my train of thought, as well as causes me to have to repeat myself".
Author Phateless Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Thanks and yes, that was the intent. I was completely disinterested in hiding behind a new username. She's all about emotion. Impulsive, impatient, self-centric, stubborn and what she "feels" right now. I'm guessing she's a bit of an introvert, in that she's always looking inwards, not very interested in the impact of her own actions on others. Point blank, IMO, she's a little spoiled. But then, she's also pretty young and youth can give you a certainty of rightness, that doesn't always reflect true, in reality. Have you tried to appeal to her from the perspective "[insert her action(s)] makes me feel like [insert your feelings]"? In this instance, it would be similar to "Plse stop interrupting. When I get interrupted a lot, it makes me lose my train of thought, as well as causes me to have to repeat myself". Glad we can recognize you. Yeah that's fairly accurate. It's mostly about impulse and attention-span. She doesn't always realize she's doing it and gets annoyed when I tell her not to. I've tried appealing that way and it kinda sorta works. I did notice her start to interrupt me and catch herself the other day. That was huge. I think a lot of it is her age and inexperience with real life and living on her own. I'm afraid that may be something that I just have to accept or move on.
Tayla Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Thank you to the poster who added that link! It had been years since I reviewed that data. WE had it in our communications class . It really helped in gathering difference of style. To those who get annoyed by *wordy* folks, Here is a scenario: Non wordy person: Pardon me, can I go forward down this street? Wordy person ( sensing this person just doesnt want to hear the long version)says- Yes you can . Non Wordy person goes down the street to a dead end- Curses the Wordy person for NOT telling him it was a dead end street and that there was a pot hole to boot!. Wordy person is puzzled because so very often no one wants to hear or take the time to heed there wisdom. After all Non wordy persons just don't have the time to LISTEN. So the gist is simple- Learn moderation on both sides. Or else drive down the road and hit the pot hole, because you didnt take the TIME to listen to someone who had the long answer: "Yes sir you can go that way, I wouldn't recommend it though since its a dead end and there is a pot hole in the road, But alas sir, you dislike wordy folks so I'll be brief: Yes you can go that way. And that is a wordy story with a real point to it.
Star Gazer Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Phate... Your GF drives you bonkers, beyond just having verbal diarrhea. Really, why are you driving yourself insane?
Author Phateless Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 Phate... Your GF drives you bonkers, beyond just having verbal diarrhea. Really, why are you driving yourself insane? I don't know...
deux ex machina Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Similar situation here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t207034/ Not much was really resolved, though. Nonetheless, I do feel for you. It's frustrating, and it can come to the stage where you get to, "Why bother? More trouble than it's worth." So that's not good. Frankly, I think seibert's answer is the best one in the linked thread. It's certainly to the point, and I'm not saying she is rude, the behavior is. The reason I feel it's not right is because interrupting someone is behaving in a way that does make the other person feel like they don't matter. Could be a bad habit of hers, could be temperment. I'm sorry, I can tell this is making you feel down.
Author Phateless Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 Similar situation here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t207034/ Not much was really resolved, though. Nonetheless, I do feel for you. It's frustrating, and it can come to the stage where you get to, "Why bother? More trouble than it's worth." So that's not good. Frankly, I think seibert's answer is the best one in the linked thread. It's certainly to the point, and I'm not saying she is rude, the behavior is. The reason I feel it's not right is because interrupting someone is behaving in a way that does make the other person feel like they don't matter. Could be a bad habit of hers, could be temperment. I'm sorry, I can tell this is making you feel down. Thanks, it really is frustrating. Right now I just feel tired. Don't wanna stress it anymore.
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