my body is a cage Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 BOYS- when you meet a girl at a party, or in some other random scenario, and ask for her number, what inspires you to call vs. not call? ie, what inspires followthrough? I'm abroad in a foreign country right now, and a couple of weeks ago I met a guy at a house party. I thought I felt a connection! I was tried to speak to him in his language, he mocked me for my utter inability to say a particular world, I almost cried I was laughing so hard because I knew that I sounded like SUCH an idiot, and he told me I was really cute. We talked a lot for the rest of his night, and it seemed like not only his friends really liked me. At the end of the night he kept adamantly asking me if I needed him to help me get home (actually, bc of cultural differences I'm not sure that was a proposition or not... hope not). I told him I was fine but that we could hang out in the future, and he asked for my number, was very particular about copying it down correctly, and then asked if he could take me on a date sometime. His friend also entered his number in my phone. Also, I was walking away and was like bye! without really thinking and he was like no wait! and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. Now, I've been traveling since then and my phone is in and out of service and I'm not EXACTLY sure that he never called, but as far as I can tell, he hasn't! I know he's just some guy I met once so it doesn't really matter, but I'm more bummed than I should be. I thought maybe I would finally go on a date with a cute boy from this country, but no! What gives? How can I increase the return results? After we said goodbye there was a sort of awkward lingering period, because I thought my friends were leaving immediately but they ended up taking a long time. As we finally left though my friend hugged him goodbye and I gave him my best seductive smile, so that should have compensated, right? Or was something minor like that enough to change his mind?
BCCA Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 It depends on so many variables, it cant possibly be qualified here. He could be looking to date, or just for a booty call, and you could not fit the bill for one, he could be a number collector, he could have met someone else, he could have just said 'meh' later on. No telling.
boogieboy Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 He either likes you or he doesnt. Theres nothing you can do - or any more you could have done to increase your chances of him calling you. Theres factors that you might not know about. Maybe he just wanted to take you home for a chance at a ONS. Maybe he took down a few numbers that night, and would rather talk to a girl without the language barrier. Nothing you can do about it. Move onto the next guy.
Soul Bear Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 You are jumping the gun here to say you must have done something wrong..... By your description of him and the events, it sounds like he was interested in you equally as much. If you want to increse your return result....maybe YOU should do some chasing too.. You have his friends number, so call his friend and try and talk to your guy.. It takes 2 to tango....you like dancing or standing at the sidelines?
boogieboy Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Oh yeah thats right, you say when you talk to guys you get nervous and aloof. If he thinks you didnt seem interested when you gave him your number, that might be why he didnt call. He has to feel your interest. If you feel youre inept, he might take it the wrong way. No use in calling you when you dont seem interested.
Author my body is a cage Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Oh yeah thats right, you say when you talk to guys you get nervous and aloof. If he thinks you didnt seem interested when you gave him your number, that might be why he didnt call. He has to feel your interest. If you feel youre inept, he might take it the wrong way. No use in calling you when you dont seem interested. haha hi! yes! thats me. although i thought i did pretty well this time (im actually usually fine during the buildup, until something actually happens then i secondguess everything). i think the only thing i could have done to not express interest miiightve been the awkward lingering time, but oh well. either way im really not that concerned about it was very random, just slightly bummed is all. i guess being abroad im not having that easy of a time meeting/ connecting with people, partially because i dont really enjoy the people on my program (theyre all a bunch of squares, go home and do homework everyday when there is so much to explore, i miss my friends SO much) or when i do go out, i find that like.. dancing with european men at technoclubs is hardly fulfilling. so yeah, slim pickings i guess. anyway, i COULD call his friend but that would be kinda roundabout/ indirect, like he didnt give me his number his friend did. i dunno i might end up doing that anyway though, i havent really been in the city for like 2 weeks anyway and my friends from a different program (whom i just met before going away through a mutual friend from home and really really do like) are away so i dont really have, the propper wingwomen at hand at the moment, so to speak.
phineas Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Beats the heck out of me. I'm one of those weird men that doesn't ask for a number unless I really want to call you. Then I do. However I was at a wedding & met a really hot woman. We danced & talked ect. She gave me her number & I lost it. This was before cell phones were popular. It was written on a napkin so who knows what happened to it.
Author my body is a cage Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Beats the heck out of me. I'm one of those weird men that doesn't ask for a number unless I really want to call you. Then I do. However I was at a wedding & met a really hot woman. We danced & talked ect. She gave me her number & I lost it. This was before cell phones were popular. It was written on a napkin so who knows what happened to it. good for you! yeah he didn't seem like the type to ask for numbers just for ****s and giggles, but he didnt really seem like your serious relationship type either. not that that matters to me being abroad, im just looking for fun pretty much, although within reasonable limits. it may also be of note that the party i was at was incredibly rowdy, and he informed me that he and his friends were the "drinking experts of the world." due to the country im in and the intensity of that party i actually think that might be true. typo factors or loss of memory factors maybe need to be taken into consideration.. he didnt seeem outlandishly drunk or anything, tho.
boogieboy Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Youre a woman, you dont need wingwomen. You can go right up to a guy solo, twirl your hair, say hi, and he will probably take it from there.
Vertex Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I rarely ask for numbers, but when I do, it's always because I'm interested and want to keep in touch.
ADF Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 This is an easy one. He was hoping for a one-night stand. His sudden concern for your getting home safely (where were you, Bagdad?) was indeed a kind of passive proposition. It failed. In order to save face and not look like total jerk, he made a big deal out of getting your number and promising to call. But he never intended to. Are there other possibilities? Sure, I suppose. But I think my theory is as good as any.
Author my body is a cage Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) This is an easy one. He was hoping for a one-night stand. His sudden concern for your getting home safely (where were you, Bagdad?) was indeed a kind of passive proposition. It failed. In order to save face and not look like total jerk, he made a big deal out of getting your number and promising to call. But he never intended to. Are there other possibilities? Sure, I suppose. But I think my theory is as good as any. hmm, very possible. although, the part about wanting my number seemed genuine. something tells me that wasnt an act/ that he really wanted my number at the moment, but i could be wrong tho. and no, im not in baghdad, but i am in a large city that is marginally unsafe at night. believe it or not, baghdad isnt the only dangerous place in the world... Edited October 27, 2009 by my body is a cage
ADF Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 the part about wanting my number seemed genuine. something tells me that wasnt an act/ that he really wanted my number at the moment, but i could be wrong tho. I cannot know for sure what this person was thinking. But lots of guys are very good at seeming genuine whether or not they really are.
627 Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 hmm, very possible. although, the part about wanting my number seemed genuine. something tells me that wasnt an act/ that he really wanted my number at the moment, but i could be wrong tho. and no, im not in baghdad, but i am in a large city that is marginally unsafe at night. believe it or not, baghdad isnt the only dangerous place in the world... it's an internationnal forum, no one will recognise you, it would have helped if you stated a location maybe someone has some better insight on the way this man thinks(about the asking home thingy) maybe he got intimidated by you, often we might find ourselves thinking"who am I kidding she probably has a date, she is doing better financialy, she travels" maybe he is looking for a serious relationship, and he had second thoughts after he thought through that you won't be there for long...
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