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Is being too clean, well groomed and what not a turn off?


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Posted
I am the type of guy that is very meticulous about the clothes and shoes I wear, to hygiene, well groomed and what not. My question is if this is a turn off to many girls. Would you be bothered if your man was always well groomed, got manicures and pedicures, and eyebrow threading? Or if he spent a good amount on his wardrobe (all brands), briefcases, and luggage (louis vuitton)? Some have accused of being metro without getting to know me and assume I am one of the straight looking gays?

 

Although I am well kept, I am by no means a softy. I play sports, go to the gym and have a nice build, and can either have a nice romantic date or go grab a beer with the guys. I ask this because, for flings or women I meet at clubs/bars they seem to appreciate it and say its refreshing to have a clean and well kept guy for a change. When I am pursuing someone for the interest of dating or something more serious, they bring it up as a problem.

 

A big part of this has to do with my profession as I have to always present myself in the best light possible to clients and not a spect of dust in my car. Is this considered going over the top or weird for a guy to be like this?

 

Thanks for all the responses...

 

I can't speak for all women on this, but it would not be compatible with me. Well, at least not the manicures/pedicures and .. I'm sorry but I don't even know what eyebrow threading is...

 

The cleanliness with your vehicle and your house might not be a bad thing though. I know so many guys who just toss dirty dishes in the sink for five days, and that part drives me nuts.

 

Not to say that your habits are bad, just wouldn't necessarily work for me. I'd imagine the woman you're with would also have to have impeccable appearance all the time if she accompanied you to work functions and such. And I'm just not that meticulous about everything! :)

Posted

I also believe there is a growing number of women who are growing tired with the metrosexual man. I've had a few tell me that they truly prefer more manly men, and by that I mean men who do not spruce themselves and just look like a man. Rough around the edges can go a long way for men.

Posted
So, in other words, you want us to lie to you...

 

If its a lie to say to it, you might consider trying to date women who are attractive.

Posted
We love when you notice it was worth the wait when we have taken care getting ready to go out. But we love more when you tell us you like us best when weve done nothing at all.

 

I always admire a woman's natural look more than her dolled up. I sometimes wish women embraced the more natural look but the times are different. It just seems easier to talk to and get along with natural looking females more, anytime I talk to girls in fancy dresses and high heels and designer clothes it makes me nervous, it just gives off this "too sexy" vibe for me and it makes me less likely to approach them.

Posted

 

If its a lie to say to it, you might consider trying to date women who are attractive.

A woman is always more attractive when she takes care of herself prior to going out. This has nothing to do with innate attractiveness.

Posted

I personally love your look (preppy/smart/well turned out) so it makes no sense that a girl would initially love it, then suddenly find it a turn off after a couple of weeks. I've dated a couple of guys in the past who have exactly this look but who seemed to be excessively vain and a bit shallow with it (quite obsessed with labels) which I found to be very unattractive qualities...they gave TOO much weight to looks, grooming, etc. Whilst I am all about the preppy, metro look, it has to be balanced with lots of other qualities, and is just the window dressing, not the main event. If a guy make sit too central it is a bit tragic and would be a huge turn off.

 

Similarly, I have no problem with a guy wanting me to look feminine and make an effort (because I am quite a girly girl that way, despite often being mistaken for a man on this forum, lol), but if the guy demanded it all the time, and couldn't chill out and sometimes appreciate me just in my PJ's or his t-shirt or whatever, or criticized my lack of designer gear, I'd think that was all a bit tiresome and lose interest. Good looks and metro living should be the nice packaging that the person comes in and nothing more, and if it is too central a part of the guys (or girls) life, it starts becoming unappealing.

 

What exactly do the girls say when they criticize it?

Posted

This is an interesting thread. I've never had a manicure in my life but an ex-girlfriend bought me a facial and pedicure once as a x-mas gift. I was walking on air when I left the place but have never gone back. I think I will because once I got over laughing when the pretty lady touched my feet, the foot massage was incredible. But everything has to be done in moderation and has to suit you. It's really about an overall image and as men you have to be cognizant and take control of yours. Nerdy, earthy, whatever. It all works if pulled off right. Unfortunately there's no one style that will attract all women. Have you ever shaved and had a woman be like I love the look and another woman say what did you do to your mustache/beard? Exactly.

 

Now I've never done the eyebrow thing but I've was recently asked if I pluck mine because "they look too perfect." I was like, huh? If I had a unibrow I might try whatever "threading" is, but that would be my little secret and even if my girl figured it out she's probably say nothing if my eye brows were really outta control. Admittedly, I've been called a pretty boy often due to my features, particularly my eyes and eyelashes that girls always say they'd die for, but my overall vibe and style is rugged and masculine. I mean I'm sensitive and gentlemanly, definitely a lady's man, but there's nothing soft about me if that makes sense.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm into style. I know what 7 all for mankind jeans are, a bulgari bag, a marc jacobs clutch or christian louboutin (sp?) shoes. I know how to shop for a woman and won't come home with a waffle maker. As for me, I own a pair of Bruno Maglis but I also own Nike boots and Air Force Ones. I have an outfit for most any occasion and even own a very nice traditional tuxedo -- no tails or double breasting or vest for me. Just like a two button brooks brother suit with satin lapels and tux pants. I always get that: "you clean up real nice" line when I go formal. If girls don't say you clean up nice or get impressed when you try to clean up, then you're probably too pretty on a daily basis.

 

Now even though I'm conscious of how I look and my overall style, I can't imagine wearing clear nail polish. And when I feel like I'm looking too pretty, sometimes I'll let the scruffy shadow grow in a bit or I'll cut my long curly hair so short I don't need to style it. Less grooming and it brings out your facial features. Sometimes I wear bright colors and then sometimes I like everything dark. I never ever wear tight clothes or tank tops even though I have a nice physique.

 

In terms of style, I suspect I do many things that on the wrong person could be misconstrued as feminine or metrosexual. Women and men (including gay ones) have complimented my sense of fashion and I'm cool with that. Girlfriends sometimes ask me what outfit looks better and they often accept my advice.

 

A few more things. Although I like fashion and almost everything I wear is expensive designer stuff. (ok, I will shop at Filene's too), I hate visible labels on clothes. I just don't want people to know what I wear or where to find it. I also love fine watches and I used to wear a flashy Rolex. I haven't worn it in about 4 years. Today I sport something twice as expensive that nobody hardly notices. That's how I like to do things.

 

My past girlfriends always told me I have pretty feet but that I need to lotion them more. I'm like whatever. I'm not trying to have soft feet. I like to be able to walk barefoot on surfaces other than cushy persian rugs. I have callouses on my hands because I play too much golf. I can give a nice back scratch with my palms. lol! I used Ivory soap to wash my hair for years until I recently used a girlfriend's product and was like whoa!

 

Oh yeah, I floss daily, use an electric toothbrush and have 4 really nice colognes I wear depending on mood but always in moderation. I also take propecia and have done so for the past 4 years when I though I was thinning up top. I'm not stopping either because it worked and has had zero side effects.

 

This is all probably too much info but I'm trying to paint a picture. Be cognizant about how you look men but make sure the overall picture is not feminine. You aren't trying to compete with a women, you are trying to compete with other men. Having more style than them helps but not if overdone. If you are a pretty guy, do something to be rough around the edges. Think McSteamy not McDreamy for those whose GF have made them watch Grey's. If you are a rough guy, do something to soften it up like a nice haircut. Be neat, be clean, be stylish just don't be prettier than your woman and don't spend more time in the mirror or at the spa than she does.

 

Sorry for the long post but I think it's an interesting topic and I'd love to hear more women chime in.

Posted

That doesn't sound too feminine in my opinion, but it is probably further than I am willing to go for myself. I myself am pretty rugged usually, but like you, I also have long eyelashes. Off the top of my head both my sister and ex-girlfriend have voiced their envy over my eyelashes. I see no issue with wearing high-quality clothes. If I could justify spending the money, I'd probably do the same. I think the main complaint is about guys who exfoliate/wax/facial/mani/pedi/eyeliner/makeup/excessive hair product/etc. Girls tend to ask me advice on what to wear and how they should do their hair as well, and by no means am I the best-dressed guy around. They just value my judgment I suppose.

Posted

I do not suffer from low self esteem. If anything, I have been accused of being too in to myself or cocky.

 

Well, this may be true, but being very concerned about grooming and style gives an impression of insecuritly and shallowness.

 

There is nothing wrong with looking groomed and stylish.

 

But, waxing, eyebrow work, manicures, etc. is going beyond the pale....without question.

 

You would be much, much better off just looking decent. Don't go overboard.

 

Woman LOVE confident men. Confidence is NOT CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK. So, when you put too much emphasis on this, it SCREAMS of insecurity.

 

I am 45 now. Many years ago I was a very good looking guy, with good style, etc., fit, nice car. I wondered why woman weren't attracted to me. The fact is, sometimes women feel insecure with a guy that looks great. When I toned down my style a bit, woman were more interested.

Women love a casual guy......neat can seam uptight, anal, fussy.

 

They much prefer confidence, slight rugged look, with a good smile.

GOOD eye contact is a must.

 

You have to appear comfortable in your style....kick it back a bit buddy, and you will do fine.

Posted

I don't even go and get my nails done. So that would probably be weird for me.

Posted

IMO, if one is to err, tis better to err on the side of cleanliness and grooming than on the side of filth and disheveled appearance and comportment. Those who would be turned off by your grooming style and appearance are not on your path. Wish them well. :)

Posted
IMO, if one is to err, tis better to err on the side of cleanliness and grooming than on the side of filth... :)

 

Lol...nice statement Carhill, this made me laugh!

Posted

Woman LOVE confident men. Confidence is NOT CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK. So, when you put too much emphasis on this, it SCREAMS of insecurity.

 

Brought this thread up with a couple of women last night and thats exactly what we all agreed. In fact, the most successful and confident men we know are not so meticulously groomed even by NYC standards...the more spit and polish a man looks, the more likely he is in a service profession. Just a note.

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