Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 thanks man. appreciate. everyone in my life is telling me to move, even her, and yet i sit and wallow. i just need some time i guess. im never going to talk to her again. everyone is right NC is for healing not for getting them back. i feel like i ripped off a bandage.
Odyssey Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm sure we have all done it. Ripped off the bandage. In fact...scratched off the scab because it itches too much and it starts bleeding again. I know i have. Don't be so hard on yourself McGrupp, the wound will scab over. Trust me, your pain will ease. You're not the only one coping. There are plenty of people in worst situations than you (fighting for their f**king lives, right this second)...we're only suffering from temporary heartbreak, that's nothing compared to people lying in a coma paralysed or rotting away from some infection or disease, or have limbs amputated. You still got your health. You still have the opportunity to start over. Think about that for a minute. McGrupp, you gotta be patient and take it one day at a time. If i'm over-reacting tell me 'cause i don't know what your typical day involves. Sometimes we need that WAKEUP call to really get us to let go. She's gone. It's over. The lights have gone out and you're left stand all alone in that deep dark hole. I can drop you a rope to climb...the rest is up to you!
Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 my life is just super, super lonely now. and super, super boring. i mean i sit by myself at work from 10-9. i freak out. i actually blame my job for the breakup because i couldnt stay NC.!!!!! i hate my life right now and dont see a light.
Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 i hate my life right now and dont see a light. i have to change that^^^^^
Thebob Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 You need to change your attitude, be grateful that you have a job, and trust me, I moved to this new area and I haven't had any friends my own age for almost 6 months now and I am taking all online classes due to work. So trust me when when you say your bored, I knoW!!!!!! it's horrible but Im changing my life around so I can meet people my own age. My girl was the only one that I talked to for 2 months and when I knew it was over and I had to break it off, I knew that I would be so lonely. You just have to relax, don't dwell on it and try not to think of her. It's so hard and I know. I have been goin through the same thing but my mental stability is quite better than yours at the moment haha. HOpe this makes you feel better. Thebob
Author McGrupp Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) well i think today and yesterday have been really bad for me cause i broke NC. and it was hard because although our talk was good, i realize she doesnt give a **** about me, and probably feels sorry for me. so...i def feel down. but its been almost 2 months. i really have to pick myself up. all my friends and family i think are tired of hearing about it. im seeing a psychologist on Monday. i actually called the suicide help line last night cause i was thinking bad things. that surprisingly helped and i realized im not quite there. sometimes you just want someone to give a **** even if its for 10 minutes (hence constant reposts on LS) im just tired of thinking and analyzing her. i have to let go and see that tomorrow is going to be better then today and the next even more so. i know what i have to do. i want to use this whole thing as motivation to get off my ass and do something important with my life well im still young. im just ya know....reeling. but gotta keep my head up!!! Edited October 28, 2009 by McGrupp
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 no more suicidal posts or ima find where you live and kick your ass..... Thebob
GrayClouds Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Mc, stay way form the alcohol for while, it just makes you feel worst for the next couple of days. Go re-read Caliguy's NC and remind yourself what it was doing for you. I were making progress and you will again. This whole grief thing comes in wave and you just hit a big one. I someways though knowing the truth puts hope asleep and actually may help get the process moving faster. Hang in there.
Author McGrupp Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 i think caliguys guide mad me suicidal. i mean after i did this i was like WHY AGAIN DO U KEEP DOING THIS? ive gone 10 days, 15 days, 9 days, 25 days. its ridiculous. she probably is just like what is this guys deal already. and i was finally feeling good and sleeping way better. last night i didnt sleep at all. pitiful.
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