Sbrizio Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 i've written to her, i've written exactly what i felt, in the most open and honest way i could have written. Instead of sending to her i sent it to one of my female friends: that was liberating (and my friend told me she would dream to receive such an email LOL). Still, i'm not over yet the urge to send this email to the original recipient. My rational side know that only pain and more heartache can come from this, but i'm already in pain and heartache since so long, although, effectively, i see some evolution of my pain. I no longer wake up thinking about her. But i still miss her as i would miss a limb. So every day i have to come up with some new ways to distract me, to let the night come without doing any stupid mistake: It's like a fight against myself, i would hate to lose it, but i'm growing tired and tired. I know i can't win this fight, the only good way out is to stop fighting, to let go. I don't really know what the outcome of this will be. Just venting...
onewillburn Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 DO NOT SEND IT. You will regret it more than anything. Stay strong, man. How long has it been NC for you? I see you've been registered here for over a year.
Author Sbrizio Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Hi onewillburn, it's 4 months since the breakup and 3+ months NC. I'm not grieving since i registered here, LOL, i hope i won't get that far. I registered for a different reason. I'm not sending it. It would do no good. Thanks for your help, man.
Arabella Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I wrote my ex pages upon pages of emails since I made the decision to move on. I was angry, frustrated, hurt... I went through the full range of emotions and documented it all on emails I sent him. I don't know if he ever read all of them or not... but I can say that when I finally rose above all that, I regretted most of what I had written. It sure made me feel better when I wrote them though... Arabella
hopefullove Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 i thought about sending my ex a "final" letter last night... they always seem to be the "final" letter, and because i know myself, i know they will never be the final letter if i call them the final letter, it just limits myself to my emotions, and i always break my word and end up sending another "final" letter so im opted to not send it this time to look the liar.... yah know what i mean.... also i thought about it, ive sent him sooooo many letters already, he already knows how i feel, he is not stupid. or forgetful, you dont just forget that someone loves you, and by all the ways i've shown him... but it just doesnt matter to him anymore... remember the times when it did matter, i remember telling him "i loved him" and he would giggle like a school girl, and we had a chat, because my roommate at the time said she used "love" as a weapon, and would limit it to hold power over her bf, and me and my bf would say that we love telling each other we love each other all the time, there is no limit to it, and if you love someone tell them, it doesnt make you weak.... SO, yeah, i know how he used to feel... that person isn't there anymore, and as much as i want to live in the past, or to revive it, it is dead.... nothing i write to him is new information to him anyway... also i thought about, so what if he has moved on already, he is dating someone new, and i write him more stupid emails, what difference is it going to make, his mind has already been set already... i think about, the times when he really wanted me, nothing could get in his way. he made it happen.... now, there's nothing we can do... it is totally sad, but as an avid letter sender... i urge you to not do it!!! haha. sleep on it, you will feel better in the morning, and the morning after, keep posting here, which is what i am doing... and i hope hope hope to get this poison out of my system soon... cause it is freaking debilitating...
Thebob Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 you know what you have to do, and your just writing on this forum because you cant accept that decision that you so desperately want to do. Forget that letter and delete it, it's over and move on man. If she wants you back she will contact you, she has your numbers and email. What else can you ask for. It wasn't meant to be, move on. Thebob
Exit Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I wrote my ex a ton of emails before finally going NC. It didn't get me anywhere with her, but I don't regret sending them, and now NC is that much easier because I know I made an effort to save our relationship and there's nothing left for me to say. Just offering a different perspective, I don't regret sending them at all.
hopefullove Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) when i did send letters to my ex, it did make me feel better, sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest. so if you need to get it off your chest, and it makes you feel better, the most impt thing is that it makes you feel better, you're doing it for you... but once it starts to be redundant, then, you need to stop. i think.... which is why im not sending anything anymore (or trying to, with the help of this forum), cause everything that has been said, has been said, i have done EVERYTHING i can, it is hopeless. Edited October 27, 2009 by hopefullove typo
Bulldozed Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 well against my better judgement, and the posters on the "breakup" forum, I did send a very sincere and heartfelt apology/ well wishing email to my ex last week. Basically I was apologizing for sending a rather harsh email about 3+ wks ago, where I made some accusations about her trust, deceitfulness....etc etc. tried to end it on a positive, however. Well a good mutual friend told me yesterday that my ex brought up my email to her while the two of them were talking...she basically said I sent an email that stated I was embarrassed for sending the first email. Actually I never said I was embarrassed but rather ashamed as I've never in our life together spoke to her that way...I didn't want those to be the last words I ever said to her. Her response to my friend was, "but he never once said the two words I was looking for, I'm Sorry". If my note wasn't an apology, I guess I don't know what the word means? Very confused on this one. Incidentally, the day after I sent her the apology, she did forward me a joke email, along with 6 other people, last on the list is the guy she still can't admit she's sleeping with...not even to her best friend. Since this guy is her former "good friends" recently divorced ex-husband, she's clearly the one that is ashamed and embarrassed? Her former friend has pretty much told her what a piece of trash she is....
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