simple_city_girl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 i had an affair with MM at work who was my boss. it went on for 3 years after which we broke up (in quite a bad manner). but i continued to work on 2 projects which were pending by me. last 1 year i fell in love with a really nice single guy and we are together for a year now. lately MM has been behaving funny with me at work. he always avoids me, he doesnt give me any responsibilities like before. example while i was on the forefront of arranging an event 2 years back, i was nowhere in the organization this time of the same event. things like these. there have been many instances where he is rude and its clear that he avoids having me around on purpose. this went on for the past 6 months but i kept a low profile and continued to do work on my pending projects. but last few weeks, i just cant tolerate it. i had agreed to complete these projects on the trust that he will be normal with me professionally and we shall have no personal communication. this was being followed well but professionally he started to be unfair with me because he had the power to do so. i endured it for many months, it felt very bad to be ignored and sidelined but i somehow kept my patience. but now enough is enough for me. i cant take it anymore and yesterday decided to just quit before thinking about its effects. he has been persuading me to atleast complete the projects but i just dont feel like. i was under too much stress and i feel so relieved with the thought that i dont have to see him everyday. right now i am not bothered about what i have to do in future - but just feeling relieved that i dont have to deal with his rudeness at work. he even pursuaded me to work from home and finish the things. but i dont feel like at the moment. i just am feeling happy to have got my life back.. is my decision correct? or should i finish the work from home and then quit.. please help...
torranceshipman Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I think that you did the right thing - you can't spend your life miserable, day in, day ou, because of some bully. Bt I would suggest that you complain to the HR dept and tell them why you felt you had to hand your notice in - they need to know how he has abued his power in this situation.
LadyDi Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 But you have to look at your professional life also. It will look bad for you if you just up and quit a job. Can you give 2 weeks notice and work from home for those 2 weeks? You need to consider how a future employer will view this. Good Luck!
fooled once Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I would work from home to finish the projects. I would also make a formal complaint -- not of sexual harassment because you fully participated in the affair - but of a hostile work environment. I would come clean to HR about the affair and how now he is being rude and unprofessional.
jwi71 Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I would put in your notice then quit. Then, if you wanted to be nasty, you could file sexual harassment, intimidation and rape charges. He said she said...you'll win. You could then sue...how do you want to spend your substantial settlement? Of course, you won't do that. Its false, untrue and gaming the system. And that, btw, is why you NEVER screw around (pun intended) with subordinates. You WILL lose if the other gets nasty.
justwantlove Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I agree with torrence and ladyd completely. But on the subject of filing hostil work environment do as you feel is right and whats comfortable with you. But you do have a valid claim
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