littlebittle Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 What do you think some reasons are for a change of heart in a long term relationship? When I say long term, I mean like, more than a year. I ask because my cousin recently got dumped. He had been with his girlfriend on and off for 6 years. They lived together and he seemed blissfully unaware that her feelings had changed. They were very compatible and seemed like a happy couple. One day a few months ago, she told him that she didn't love him anymore, and that was it. As far as anyone can tell, there wasn't another guy involved. Obviously no one knows why she dumped him here, but in your experience, why do you think people's feelings change after such a long period of time? And do you think the dumper would ever go back to the dumpee? I'm just curious as to what people have to say.
Yashy Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Well, that in itself has a very broad range of answers. Without an actual story or events of what happened, it's difficult to say. But I'll tell you what I think the general core of it is, the underlying factors. It's about your expectations in life, the little blueprint that you have made in your head that says 'if this happens and that happens, then I'm happy'. It's all about peoples expectations. Now, throughout the course of time people's opinions, beliefs and values slowly can shift. Through meeting friends, through reading articles or through different experiences, people's core values can change at times. That's how we grow. The point is, how we grow. Some people end up literally growing apart from one another. Some people end up growing together and looking outward in a similar direction. Unless your partner is extremely different from you and their values are on the opposite spectrum to yours, then if you love someone you can make it work but it just takes some emotional training. What that means is, if that person felt great with you 3months ago, then they can still feel great with you today. It is purely dependant on what they're allowing themselves to focus on. Many many people, they are in a relationship and see someone else they're attracted to and immediately think 'im going to leave my current partner to be with someone else'. Now, if you were unhappy in the current relationship, then fair enough change it and leave. But they should ask themselves 'why did I feel unhappy?'....'what were the reasons that I felt so unhappy?'. Go right down to the roots. People sometimes just suddenly jump into another relationship because it just 'feels good'. They look for short term pleasures. So to answer your question, peoples feelings change because of the points I just mentioned above; lacking in emotional training, seeking short-term pleasures, selfishness and of course their circumstances of their relationship (huge factor). Overall though, if people are truly grateful for who they are with, then they will be willing to fight for it and work at it rather than just give up on it and meet someone else which is in my opinion the easiest option.
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