Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 A guy friend that gets pissy when he asks what I'm doing and I say that I'm hanging out with another guy friend is no friend at all. I'm getting a lot of stupid anger from him, like we're in a relationship but we are not. It perplexes me. Is this ladder theory really true, people? Are female friends of guys simply girls they haven't scored with yet? Ladder theory: http://www.laddertheory.com/
boldjack Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 AU, You should read Desmond Morris' book " The Naked Ape", it addresses these socio/anthropological issues.
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 AU, You should read Desmond Morris' book " The Naked Ape", it addresses these socio/anthropological issues. Thanks for the rec BoldJack; I'll buy it. It seems like an interesting read!
boldjack Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 On the contrary. It's very convoluted and dry, but his knowledge of human behavior is incredible.
drillman Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Add alcohol and any platonic friend that has corresponding or usable anatomy parts might suddenly become tempting. you can trust your bf/gf and be trustable, but its a good idea to check in on them if theyre alone with the opposite sex, once in awhile
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) Add alcohol and any platonic friend that has corresponding or usable anatomy parts might suddenly become tempting. you can trust your bf/gf and be trustable, but its a good idea to check in on them if theyre alone with the opposite sex, once in awhile Amen dude, this is why I don't date guys that are in bands. If the hookup opportunity is high and there is alcohol involved, I'm gonna be Mrs. Robe-and-curlers "Where were you all night?" someday - and that's just not my cup of tea. Edited October 27, 2009 by Awesome Username
Devil Inside Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 What is so perplexing...he has feelings for you and can't be direct about it.
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 What is so perplexing...he has feelings for you and can't be direct about it. I used to like this guy. He used to be on the relationship ladder. He's brilliant and cute and sweet and a really great guy. I wondered what our kids would look like at one point, for heaven's sake. He just went after this other girl to be friends with benefits, she left, and then I guess he's liking me again but being really manipulative about it. He's not up-front with me, I'm not a backup chick, and now he's on the friends ladder because he's being too effing moody with me. He's actually a good guy, I'm just perplexed that he think he has the right to be mad at be for having plans with someone.
johan Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Well, you know what they say. Guys and girls can never really be fr.... wait a minute... You made plans to hang out with some guy? Who is he??! Are you sure this isn't some kind of date and you're just not telling me??
Leia Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Well, you know what they say. Guys and girls can never really be fr.... wait a minute... You made plans to hang out with some guy? Who is he??! Are you sure this isn't some kind of date and you're just not telling me?? Why do you that? Why do you go around saying the same things to other girls?!? WHY, johan .... WHY?!
johan Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Why do you that? Why do you go around saying the same things to other girls?!? WHY, johan .... WHY?! Why not?
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Well, you know what they say. Guys and girls can never really be fr.... wait a minute... You made plans to hang out with some guy? Who is he??! Are you sure this isn't some kind of date and you're just not telling me?? Johan, you're my hero and I'm gonna kick your ass at the same time.
Leia Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Amen dude, this is why I don't date guys that are in bands. If the hookup opportunity is high and there is alcohol involved, I'm gonna be Mrs. Robe-and-curlers "Where were you all night?" someday - and that's just not my cup of tea. For a sex there, I thought you were going to say you were going to be Mrs. Robert Pattinson ... I know CE wouldn't be too happy reading that!
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 For a sex there, I thought you were going to say you were going to be Mrs. Robert Pattinson ... I know CE wouldn't be too happy reading that! I would never encroach on Citizen Erased's future husband! That would be like breaking a bond of the Gods. Just like someday I'll be Mrs. Captain Fineass. And then in the future CE and my kids will play together and get married someday, and THEIR kid (our grandchild) will be the genetic savior of the universe, kind of like in the 5th Element.
Leia Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I would never encroach on Citizen Erased's future husband! That would be like breaking a bond of the Gods. Just like someday I'll be Mrs. Captain Fineass. And then in the future CE and my kids will play together and get married someday, and THEIR kid (our grandchild) will be the genetic savior of the universe, kind of like in the 5th Element. CE's future husband is no secret to anyone on LS! So hmmmm ... where do I fit in into all this? Babysitter? Speaking of guys acting stupid, I have a good friend like the guy in your sitch. He would even go to an extend of putting his hand around me when he sees a cute guy checking me out!
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 CE's future husband is no secret to anyone on LS! So hmmmm ... where do I fit in into all this? Babysitter? Speaking of guys acting stupid, I have a good friend like the guy in your sitch. He would even go to an extend of putting his hand around me when he sees a cute guy checking me out! ARRRRRRRRRRGH SO out of line!!!! Yeah no problem! You can babysit Thorlock Pine-Pattinson whenever you'd like!
boldjack Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 AU if that's your pic in your Avie, WTF do you have to worry about? Look in the mirror and you'll find your answer about this guy. Of Course he wants more than friends, and of course he is jealous. Or did you start this thread, just to garner some compliments? If that is the case, forget I said anything.
Leia Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 AU if that's your pic in your Avie, WTF do you have to worry about? Look in the mirror and you'll find your answer about this guy. Of Course he wants more than friends, and of course he is jealous. Or did you start this thread, just to garner some compliments? If that is the case, forget I said anything. How is that this thread is started to garner compliments?
Citizen Erased Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I would never encroach on Citizen Erased's future husband! That would be like breaking a bond of the Gods. Just like someday I'll be Mrs. Captain Fineass. And then in the future CE and my kids will play together and get married someday, and THEIR kid (our grandchild) will be the genetic savior of the universe, kind of like in the 5th Element. I fricking love you AU. Those babies would be gorgeous.
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 AU if that's your pic in your Avie, WTF do you have to worry about? Look in the mirror and you'll find your answer about this guy. Of Course he wants more than friends, and of course he is jealous. Or did you start this thread, just to garner some compliments? If that is the case, forget I said anything. I'm not perplexed that there is a chance that he would find me attractive. I guess there's more depth to this story than I'm willing to put in here, and maybe I didn't make myself clear as to why I'm pissed. He was really nice to me and then when I said that I was hanging around another guy friend (who is a work contact, by the way), he got pissed. I said hi to him and he's all in the chat "Thought you were with ***". Then he asked me over for dinner, and I said "maybe I will!" (aka yes) and he takes the "maybe" as an "I don't want to" and while I'm waiting for him to give me the day, he starts throwing a fit and telling everyone on the internet "Why do I even ****ing bother," which really hurt my feelings. If you saw it for yourself you might be surprised too. It was in the past few days...It doesn't matter what the situation is: he's being mean to me for no real reason and it was SUDDEN and it's way out of line.
boldjack Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I understand AU, sorry, I was inferring again. I agree with the poster that this friend has feelings for you and it appears that you and him haven't communicated what type of relationship you want to have. He wants more than you, apparently, and is stressing about this other man. He's not angry AT you, he's angry that you aren't with HIM. It's NOT out-of-line, it's human nature.
Author Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 I understand AU, sorry, I was inferring again. I agree with the poster that this friend has feelings for you and it appears that you and him haven't communicated what type of relationship you want to have. He wants more than you, apparently, and is stressing about this other man. He's not angry AT you, he's angry that you aren't with HIM. It's NOT out-of-line, it's human nature. Mk. I guess if I picture it as he's not angry with me specifically, it makes it easier to bear. Still sucks. He's a great guy and a really good friend. He was just after this girl for a while, so to have it suddenly on me I guess is a bit of a surprise. blah.
boldjack Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Well, I really don't think that he considers you "runner-up", no man would have this much angst about his second choice. I think his feelings are real, if misguided. I thought that you were having self -esteem issues, because of the "back-up comment, and thought you could use a little good-natured bolstering, hence my comment about compliments and your Avie. I hope you didn't take offense, none was intended.
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