GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) God, I feel like I'm in high school. There is this guy who just moved to my neighborhood, he seems like the super friendly outgoing type. He is kind of attractive too, tall broad shouldered, ex college jock. He has a girlfriend whom he lives with. I saw him at the mailbox and he introduced himself to me. After that I started seeing him around and we would chit chat and make small talk. He ran into my boyfriend too and has introduced himself. My boyfriend and I work out at the condo gym and we always see him. He seems to have struck up a friendship with all the other guys that work out at the gym. He is ALWAYS chatting with some guy or the other. Spotting them and generally being Mr. Popular. However, when he sees my boyfriend, he only says hello and he is not at all friendly with him as he is with the other random guys that work out. Which is weird because he has invited my boyfriend and I over for dinner once, when we offered him a ride to the bus stop, although he never did follow up on it. It was one of those "you guys should come over for dinner sometime, my girlfriend will cook" but after that, he never mentioned it again. Whenever he sees me, he talks to me and seems genuinely friendly and normal. But somehow I feel like he has something against my boyfriend and this irritates me to no end. The protective side of me springs up and I no longer want to be a friendly neighbor to him. If he wants to ignore my boyfriend then eff him, I'll ignore him too. What gives, anyone has any insight? Edited October 27, 2009 by GroupFitness
Awesome Username Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 How often does he talk to you, without your boyfriend being there?
JohnP82 Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 ....or maybe he just doesn't like your boyfriend and there is nothing else to it.
Author GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 How often does he talk to you, without your boyfriend being there? Every time I've run into him without my boyfriend, he's talked to me. Nothing out of the ordinary or even remotely flirtatious so I doubt if it is because he's attracted to me. In fact, he's always mentioning his girlfriend even when she doesn't belong in the conversation. I don't know why it pisses me off that he seemingly ignores my boyfriend and yet would willingly talk to me
dreamergrl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I still think he's attracted to you, I just think that he's keeping it too himself because he has a girlfriend, and he's jealous over the boyfriend. Unless your boyfriend has some really annoying traits that irritate people easily (seeing how the guy talks to all the other guys..)
Island Girl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Have you ever met a guy that seems okay and you could be friendly but you meet his girlfriend and there just is something that rubs the wrong way? I have plenty. It isn't the guys fault nor is it the girls in those cases right? Same thing! Sometimes guys just don't click as friends. They may not hate each other it just isn't going to be a friendship. That is better than trying to continually force something that really isn't there at all. I don't understand why it upsets you at all let alone as much as you say it does. Do you think everyone should think your boyfriend is the coolest ever? Because that isn't reality. Some people will and some won't. The only thing that matters is how you feel. And to be irritated and shun someone for just not being "besties" with your boyfriend is kind of ridiculous.
BCCA Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 It doesnt sound like hes being mean, per say, just not as friendly. As other people have mentioned, there are just people in life that youre not going to like, and you might not even have a good reason why. I've met plenty of guys that I just thought were total jerkoffs, while my other friends thought they were just fine, same with women. He might also not be attracted to you, but dig attention or want more single options around. Who knows. As long as he isnt being mean, I wouldnt worry about it too much.
ecm Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Why does he feel the need to mention his girflriend all of the time, even when it deosn't fit in the conversation? Does he say her name or "my girlfriend"? Hmm...... Well, I think he doesn't act flirty with you b/c he is attracted to your BOYFRIEND! And if you think I'm making it up... (LOL) I #1) was a theatre major #2) still perform to date and 3) have 2 gay siblings, so... My "gadar" is pretty impressive.
Author GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 haha, no, I don't think he's attracted to my boyfriend..eeek!. He mentions his girlfriend by her name and says irelevant things that has me questioning in my head sometimes "so? who cares? did I ask?" but I smile and pretend it's cool. I think I wouldn't be bothered about it if he wasn't obviously SUPER friendly with *everyone*. Seeing him at the gym, he's the life of the the party with all the other guys working out. In fact he's introduced me to more people in my building than I have met myself personally. Forexample, if I was walking by and he was talking to someone, he would stop and say hello to me and introduce me to the person he's talking to, a la "have you met so and so (me)? yeah, she lives in my wing with her boyfriend blah blah blah"... BCCA you may have a point in the fact that he digs attention. He seems like the type that would soak up the attention of attractive females. I guess it bothers me because it seems like my boyfriend is not being included as one of the guys, and hence considered "uncool" in some way...Like I said, totally highschool. I guess I shouldn't care either way.
ecm Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Well, if he doesn't like your man, he sounds like maybe he's intimidated/ threatened by him. Is your boyfriend hotter than he is?
Johnny M Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I love the automatic female assumptions in this thread: he doesn't talk to your BF because he's attracted to you, he's intimidated by your BF's looks, he's jealous of him, etc. How did you ladies surmise all of that from the scant amount of information provided by the OP?? Since we're venturing into the realm of wild guesses and unsupported speculations, how about this one: he thinks that OP's boyfriend is a closeted homosexual The most likely explanation is that your BF rubs this guy the wrong way for whatever reason. Let's look at the obvious things first: are you and your BF an interracial couple? Does your BF have any annoying personality traits (i.e. does he have an arrogant/elitist attitude, does he talk non-stop, or do anything else that frequently annoys people)?
Author GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 I love the automatic female assumptions in this thread: he doesn't talk to your BF because he's attracted to you, he's intimidated by your BF's looks, he's jealous of him, etc. How did you ladies surmise all of that from the scant amount of information provided by the OP?? Since we're venturing into the realm of wild guesses and unsupported speculations, how about this one: he thinks that OP's boyfriend is a closeted homosexual The most likely explanation is that your BF rubs this guy the wrong way for whatever reason. Let's look at the obvious things first: are you and your BF an interracial couple? Does your BF have any annoying personality traits (i.e. does he have an arrogant/elitist attitude, does he talk non-stop, or do anything else that frequently annoys people)? Wow! my boyfriend and I ARE an interracial couple-- although I'm the "minority" and this guy and my boyfriend are both white. So if this bothers him or he's racist, one would think he wouldn't talk to ME, and not my boyfriend. But the way this guy chats with me, I don't think he has problems with my race. Secondly, my boyfriend does not have an annoying personality, and I'm not saying that just because he's my boyfriend. He is not arrogant, he's relatively friendly without being intrusive. For example, he would say hi or hello but will not be all up in your face. He's as normal as they come. I have noticed this whole thing since it started some months ago, I thought it was just my imagination though but then my boyfriend recently mentioned it too which is what made me pay closer attention. But thanks for all your replies, it's no big deal if one person doesn't want to be friendly to my boyfriend, everyone is not going to like you so that's ok. I just know that I will start ignoring the guy too, if he ignores someone close to me without basis, then there is no need for me to be friendly towards him. Thanks y'all.
threebyfate Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Not everyone is going to get along with everyone else. The most mature way to handle it, is to keep your distance from the other individual. As an example, you might have two friends who don't get along. Do you always drop one friend, for the other?
ecm Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Wow... I'm not sure why anyone would even think he'd be treated differently for being part of an interracial couple. How sad. That would have been the LAST thing to pop into my head. Group Fitness- who cares about this chooch? He rides the freaking bus, anyway.
Johnny M Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Wow... I'm not sure why anyone would even think he'd be treated differently for being part of an interracial couple. How sad. That would have been the LAST thing to pop into my head. Sounds like you're pretty naive.
Trimmer Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Something nobody has asked, I think: does your boyfriend either notice, or care?
Author GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Something nobody has asked, I think: does your boyfriend either notice, or care? Yup, he's noticed. I'm not sure how much he cares but he offhandedly mentioned it the other day after our workout. I thought I was the only one who noticed it and I didn't really pay any attention until he (my boyfriend) mentioned it. Although my boyfriend seems to think that maybe it's because he can't bench 250lbs like the other guys or because this guy kind of likes me. Both reasons which I think are pretty ridiculous and baseless.
threebyfate Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Here's what I've noticed about the difference between men and women, when they don't get along. Men tend to go head to head, brutally, with a lot of posturing. Then one backs down and they go for a beer. Women will nitpick you until the end of time, some with a sweet smile, others with pure pettiness. Let the boys do their thing and stay out of it.
Soul Bear Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 hmmmmm Having been in a similar situation once before, I have some ideas... Tell me OP, what is your boyfriends height age and body size in comparison? Is your bf less in shape than he is?
Soul Bear Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Get your boyfriend to practice freestanding handstand pushups.......that shut people up in my gym
Author GroupFitness Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Get your boyfriend to practice freestanding handstand pushups.......that shut people up in my gym haha, well it's not that serious. To describe them both, my boyfriend is in great shape, he's the long and lean type like a marathon runner. Gym boy/neighbor is more the football player type, not linebacker huge but wider, broad shouldered and obviously fit. I would say he's an inch or two taller than my boyfriend. e It's really weird that any of these would matter though.
ecm Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Sounds like you're pretty naive. LOL. I've been called many things...never naive. I WISH I were. I just don't think like that so it wouldn't even OCCUR to me that apparently some people are still living in the 60s.
Soul Bear Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 (edited) My prognosis is- Complete Twat. Guys are funny, and gym monkeys are even funnier..... I would try and train at different times than he is, stay away as much as possible. SOunds like he is trying to be 'the man' about the place and wants his Harem of women and buddies....... He maybe like s you, even just a bit....He feels that your boyfriend is threatening because he must have something he does not have himself..... Like you, or maybe it's something else. Whatever it is, he is insecure Edited October 27, 2009 by Soul Bear
Sam Spade Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 It bothers you because you want to lick on his peen ! Otherwise you wouldn't care .
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