CarrieT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 28 years ago a scandal forced me out of high school; I legally graduated because the School Board voted to give me my diploma several months shy of graduation without having to complete my classes. I did not attend my prom or graduation ceremony. Because of the scandal, I was ostracized and only ONE schoolmate stood by me. In fact, we are business partners now. The rest of my "friends" shunned me, slashed my tires, threw bricks in my parents' windows, wrote death threats, etc. The whole incident was pretty horrific and it took several years of therapy to get over the related trauma. While I have found friends on Facebook, all either pre-date or post-date those years of my life. But now one of those high school classmates has asked to be my friend via Facebook and I can't figure out why. Should I accept? I have no idea what purpose it could serve, except to open some old wounds on my part... Any thoughts?
Ronni_W Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Sorry you had to go through that, Carrie. My personal in this case would be to just let sleeping dogs lie. But it really depends on what you own 'inner voice' is telling you to do -- I'd listen to that over all else...Intuition is a wise lady, indeed
tinktronik Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I absolutely agree. I am so sorry for the trauma you went through. People can be awful sometimes. I am amazed at the people who have found me via facebook that remember me much more fondly than I do them.
Devil Inside Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 That really depends. Some people allow anybody they know or once knew to be their friend on FB. Other people are more discerning. It seems to me that you do not want to accept the request. So let me ask you this. Why would you accept it?
Malenfant Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 if it was me i would deny the request. its clearly making you uncomfortable and you are by no means obliged to accept a request. This person may be fine, in fact all the old so called friends may have forgotten what they put you through, but chances are this person who has sent you the request is FB friends with lots of the people from that time. So they will see you there, and then you'll get more requests. Click deny. keep FB for you real friends.
Island Girl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Carrie -- I'd block that person and any others. There are people I was really good friends with in those years that these years I would block if they resurfaced. So if there is NO history at all why even go there. Leave all of them in your dust.
Taramere Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 I was ostracized and only ONE schoolmate stood by me. In fact, we are business partners now. The rest of my "friends" shunned me, slashed my tires, threw bricks in my parents' windows, wrote death threats, etc. The whole incident was pretty horrific and it took several years of therapy to get over the related trauma. That's absolutely dreadful. All credit to you for managing to get past all of that. It must have taken a lot of strength on your part. While I have found friends on Facebook, all either pre-date or post-date those years of my life. But now one of those high school classmates has asked to be my friend via Facebook and I can't figure out why. Should I accept? I have no idea what purpose it could serve, except to open some old wounds on my part... Was this person was an active part of the bullying campaign against you at High School, or were they an inactive bystander to it all? Maybe one way to reach a decision about it is to think like this. If you had a daughter who'd been as badly bullied at school as you were, and years later one of the bullies wanted to make contact with her on Facebook, what would you want your daughter to do?
Spoiled Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Wow, you really went through some pain. At a age in life in which acceptance is very important. If you have second thoughts about whether or not this person is genuine, ignore the request. Some people are just nosy versus wanting to truly reconnect. On the flip side, I do know several classmates who sent public apologies to those they bullied. But none had endured as much as you.
whichwayisup Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 No, reject it. What is the point of trying to reconnect with someone from your past that gave you heartache and pain? If they truly want to reconnect with you, they'll send you message and take you out to lunch or coffee, meet up offline. Don't feel bad or guilty for rejecting a friendship request.
Ross PK Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Maybe if you accept and speak to him about what happened (because it seems like he now wants to be your friend), you could get closure. And then after that you could just take him off your friends list and block him.
Recommended Posts