aystro Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Apologies for my poor English , its not my first language. Reason I am asking is because I got the feeling that I am heavily locked up emotionally, leaving my self clueless concerning her real self.... I first started talking to my current date for 6 months over the internet and then we have actually been dating for 2 months. Seeing each other 1-2 times a week. And talking on the phone daily basically. I will get straight to the point: a) Is it ok for her to keep talking to her ex , which she broke up with mainly because of me ? She did it because she felt that he was more like a brother to her than somebody that she was actually attracted to. b) She treats me like a class mate regarding the priority with which she spends her time with. For example she was staying in a cafe with a group of college students (just people she met the first time) after a university concert. When I called her, saying that I was in the city and wanted to meet her. She said that she will be staying with them for some time. And that she 'cannot' leave. Is this normal ? Because I am 'just' somebody she is dating and is attracted to ( she says it plenty of times). And she isn't in love with me because not enough time has passed? c) I asked her about her previous boyfriends. For instance, why she stopped loving them or why she almost cheated on her last boyfriend with me. She says " I don't want to talk about it." or " Do you really think I am so bad?" or " Why do you need to know this, it's not important." Even when I do tell her that it is VERY important for me to know, she still doesn't answer. When I ask her if she would tell me in the future, she says " maybe". And also " Why do you try to judge me like in a court room?" Don't I have the right to know this? I mean the past of a person can reveal a lot of things about a person. And I told her couple of times that I don't know if me and her can keep dating if she doesn't want to share the 'bad stuff" at all... and she replies. To which she replies ' Well.... if you are so uncertain about me and I'm such a bad person to you then what do you want with me...?" and " I don't think that it is necessarily to talk about serious and deep things in life. I want a future, but I like to talk casual." d ) In addition she gets VERY UPSET when I try to find out from an other person that knows her, if she is dating or is interested in other guys. When I ask her my self about her interest in other men, she seems very uncertain even when she says 'no' eventually to me. To describe her in a couple of words: insecure, beauty loving, likes socializing, finds it very important for other people to find her normal, beautiful and not strange in any way, unorganized, not a career type, a dreamer, unable to say 'no' to somebody without destroying her self emotionally, she cannot be without a boyfriend and hasn't been without one for 5 years straight ( starting from when she was 15). Any feedback very appreciated Edited October 26, 2009 by aystro
aerogurl87 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Apologies for my poor English , its not my first language. Reason I am asking is because I got the feeling that I am heavily locked up emotionally, leaving my self clueless concerning her real self.... I first started talking to my current date for 6 months over the internet and then we have actually been dating for 2 months. Seeing each other 1-2 times a week. And talking on the phone daily basically. I will get straight to the point: a) Is it ok for her to keep talking to her ex , which she broke up with mainly because of me ? She did it because she felt that he was more like a brother to her than somebody that she was actually attracted to. b) She treats me like a class mate regarding the priority with which she spends her time with. For example she was staying in a cafe with a group of college students (just people she met the first time) after a university concert. When I called her, saying that I was in the city and wanted to meet her. She said that she will be staying with them for some time. And that she 'cannot' leave. Is this normal ? Because I am 'just' somebody she is dating and is attracted to ( she says it plenty of times). And she isn't in love with me because not enough time has passed? c) I asked her about her previous boyfriends. For instance, why she stopped loving them or why she almost cheated on her last boyfriend with me. She says " I don't want to talk about it." or " Do you really think I am so bad?" or " Why do you need to know this, it's not important." Even when I do tell her that it is VERY important for me to know, she still doesn't answer. When I ask her if she would tell me in the future, she says " maybe". And also " Why do you try to judge me like in a court room?" Don't I have the right to know this? I mean the past of a person can reveal a lot of things about a person. And I told her couple of times that I don't know if me and her can keep dating if she doesn't want to share the 'bad stuff" at all... and she replies. To which she replies ' Well.... if you are so uncertain about me and I'm such a bad person to you then what do you want with me...?" and " I don't think that it is necessarily to talk about serious and deep things in life. I want a future, but I like to talk casual." d ) In addition she gets VERY UPSET when I try to find out from an other person that knows her, if she is dating or is interested in other guys. When I ask her my self about her interest in other men, she seems very uncertain even when she says 'no' eventually to me. To describe her in a couple of words: insecure, beauty loving, likes socializing, finds it very important for other people to find her normal, beautiful and not strange in any way, unorganized, not a career type, a dreamer, unable to say 'no' to somebody without destroying her self emotionally, she cannot be without a boyfriend and hasn't been without one for 5 years straight ( starting from when she was 15). Any feedback very appreciated Run far away from this girl because I can see drama emanating from her very being. Also the whole secrecy bit makes it sound like she's hiding something from you, what I don't know, but it's something. After dating someone for 2 months and talking for 6 months I think you have the right to know if she's seeing anyone else definitely, and why she almost cheated on her ex with you. Which brings me to point number two, why do you want someone who almost cheated on their ex with you? Don't you think she might try to do the same to you if you two get together? And believe me it will happen eventually even if you never find out about it. I mean she treats you like your her back up guy, the puppet who will always be along for the ride no matter how bad she treats you (and she is treating you bad) so move on please. Find someone who will open up to you and be honest with you because I very much doubt she ever will.
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