Bulldozed Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 OK - my ex once said, "you only loaned me the 4k, so you could rope me into this relationship"...talk about a hurtful thing to say. She got pissed when I asked her to sign a promissary note in the event that one day we break up? I never looked at the money as loaning it to her (divorce has left her in debt, bad credit score etc. etc)...but instead, I looked at us, and how we were progressing, and considered it as a loan to us...I planned to marry her. Well we split the beginning of September. She told me she'd pay me back ASAP!...of course, I've received nothing to date. This loan was given in beginning of 09'...and never once did I pressure her to pay me...it really didn't matter to me in the grand scheme of things. Now I wonder, what should I do. My buddies tell me, screw it, it's only 4k (less what she's paid) let it hang over her head....and one day when you see her, and she mentions "hey I need to get you check, I haven't paid you in a while", respond, yeah, I know....and walk away. Another part of me looks at this way...in two years we probably had sex, 100+ times ( at least we didn't live together)....I figure, at 40 bucks a pop, I got off pretty cheap....in Vegas, I would have had to spend 25-30K for the same....w/out the emotional connection?
alphamale Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 She told me she'd pay me back ASAP!...of course, I've received nothing to date. and you never will.... since there were no legal papers drawn up your "loan" to her was a gift and in the eyes of the law she doesn't have to pay it back...
carhill Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 OK, lesson to the wise. Do not loan money to friends or family or women you are not married to. Simple.
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 It really depends on how important the $4000 is to you. That's a fair amount of money. I am not sure letting someone basically steal $4000 from you--or some large part of $4000--is a good idea. Since she signed a promissory note, you can take her to small claims court. I would.
carhill Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I was going to write exactly that....love small claims court, but then I saw the 'instead' in the OP, meaning that he decided not to do the loan 'official'. Without that, he's toast. Verbal agreements are tough and generally don't fly with a judge absent a lot of supporting evidence. Lesson learned
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 A verbal contract can be just as legally binding as a written one. And it sounds like he can prove such a contract existed. She did make an effort to pay off part of the loan, which proves the money was a loan and not a gift. Unless she can expalin away her payments, she's toast.
Lamak Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 If you really need the money, take legal action for it. If not, just let it go.
carhill Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Unless he has proof of the payments, like copies of checks, etc, and the payments were equal and regular amounts, she can explain it away as shared couple money. My guess is he's not going to go to the effort and expense of taking her to court. BTDT. Then, even with a judgment, there's collection. It's not a slam-dunk. Burn up time and more money. I think the OP is just ranting. Comparing his relationship to gambling and her to a whore wasn't a bad rant. I give it a B+
Author Bulldozed Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Well....she definitely knows it was a "loan"....she's paid me back 800 bucks of the 4k....and no, I probably won't pursue it...at the end of the day, getting a monthly check/reminder of what a fool I was to have trusted this bitch, is not something I welcome....thanks for the advice!
Author Bulldozed Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 What does "OP" mean, referring to the OP as just ranting....thanks for the B+ btw....
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