mortensorchid Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Have you ever encountered someone with an obvious agenda for a situation? They sit there and ask you all the time about your interests and how you feel about things that was obviously from a prearranged script that was put together at some point? A while back, I met someone who I had a grand total of three get togethers with. I found him annoying and condescending to say the least, and he was trying to needle me for information which I didn't like. For example, he asked me if I had interests that were considered to be nerdy. I said I was unsure what his definition of "nerdy" was, as I considered people to have more quirky interests, because "nerdy" implies bad and socially awkward. Those who frequent Star Trek conventions, for example, are certainly quirkly and maybe a bit odd, but if that makes them happy then all are welcome to do it. I told him of a few interests I have that I would consider quirky or a little off center, and he said that my interests were a waste of time. Red flag #1. Then he asked me how I felt about people spending obscene amounts of money on weddings. I said I really never gave it much thought. And I thought that was a strange question to ask of a person you just met let alone just started seeing. I said if and when the moment comes then I would hope that someone would want to celebrate a marriage appropriately, much of it would have to depend on what the families thought was appropriate. He said he didn't like that answer. Red flag #2. Then he started to act like he was my shrink rather than my friend, not to mention a condescending one. I told him about a situation where a man showed up at my apartment building looking for me at midnight one Monday night. I ran to a neighbor's apartment, and called the police. By the time the police got there he had left, so I simply thanked the police for coming and that was that. He told me that as a martial artist I should have been able to take him on and I had failed in my karate training in calling the police on him. Red Flag #3 I was horrified that he would have said something like that. If I had found out that a friend, let alone someone I was dating, had narrowly escaped an encounter from a questionably sane person, I would have been concerned enough to offer them comfort and solace, instead he sat there and offered no concern let alone sympathy! The last straw (as if those red flags weren't enough) was when he said that he didn't like the fact that I went to see a therapist. [Note : He found this out as I had my day planner open on my desk and read of an upcoming appointment marked on the calendar] I have been seeing one for years to deal with just the general ups and downs in life (and I've had a roller coaster, but who hasn't?) as well as some major issues. He told me that I spend my life zoiked out on anti psychotic meds (not true) and that his problem was that I didn't have faults but I wasn't comfortable talking about them with him. Why won't I share my feelings and thoughts with him? When I did tell him how I felt about something, he shot it down as trivial and a waste of time. I decided not to continue the situation and cut him out. Don't you hate it when people are like that? They want to be close to you only to get information and use it against you? Be wary of those who want to talk about feelings all the time.
2sure Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Who knows why some men are like that? I mean, men think women have odd standards. I once had a man, a grown man, pull out a pie chart he had put together so that he could show me logically why we should not break up.
Ilovecake Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Yikes! He sounds really creepy and controlling.
singlegirl Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Who knows why some men are like that? I mean, men think women have odd standards. I once had a man, a grown man, pull out a pie chart he had put together so that he could show me logically why we should not break up. absolutely priceless
WTRanger Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Who knows why some men are like that? I mean, men think women have odd standards. I once had a man, a grown man, pull out a pie chart he had put together so that he could show me logically why we should not break up. Was it in color? If it was black and white, then I'd say he really didn't care. I would be laughing so hard if that happened to me. But I've got to say, its absolutely brilliant.
Recommended Posts