Confused4Now Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 For some of you who know my story....I started my NC back in May. Somewhere in August my MW contacted me with the fact she's ready to move forward with her life. With that I started making limited contact with her with the need for her to start her filing. Well she started the process back in mid September however he has not been served yet. Knowing the process of how long things take...I've kept a hands off approach as she needs to do this herself. I believe she's going to do it this time. However here is my problem.....as most of you know I had a DDay back in mid November and with the holidays coming I'm starting to relive that crap all over in my head. Its really bugging the crap out of me and I would feel so much more comfortable if H is finally served. I will officially have something starting that I didn't have last year. I realized that filing the papers was the only condition i needed...all the kids need to know, house has to be refi'd didn't even matter anymore. What matter was her initiating the process of removing that piece of paper which gives her and H the right to be recognized by her children and friends together. So the anniversary of DDay is coming up....and I'm having those ugly memories and nightmares. So for those who have gone through DDay's do you still have those anniversary memories of that dreaded day? and what do you do about them?
Jaspe_Loco Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I filed 3 years ago (then idiotically took her back six months later, but that's another story). From the time I chose an attorney and started the process it took just over two months to complete. She was served OCT 27th. It was tough during the Holidays, but I can honestly say I was happier. I'm actually sad now thinking this will be my 16th Christmas with her, but this will be my last. As for as the OW, I began seeing a MW right before I filed, but she and I had no future plans and she had no impact on my marriage. I guess I wasn't really much help, but it did take about two months to go through the process her finally being served. I wouldn't try to much to compare your situation with that of your MW. Women think differently than men and if you spend more than a second wondering why she doesn't respond to situations the same way you would, you're wasting too much time. Good luck to you! Keep me posted!
Author Confused4Now Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 I filed 3 years ago (then idiotically took her back six months later, but that's another story). From the time I chose an attorney and started the process it took just over two months to complete. She was served OCT 27th. It was tough during the Holidays, but I can honestly say I was happier. I'm actually sad now thinking this will be my 16th Christmas with her, but this will be my last. As for as the OW, I began seeing a MW right before I filed, but she and I had no future plans and she had no impact on my marriage. I guess I wasn't really much help, but it did take about two months to go through the process her finally being served. I wouldn't try to much to compare your situation with that of your MW. Women think differently than men and if you spend more than a second wondering why she doesn't respond to situations the same way you would, you're wasting too much time. Good luck to you! Keep me posted! Well looking back....Mine was about 2 months from the start to my ex being served too....My issue is the memories...arrrrrgh.
Jaspe_Loco Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) I have fond memories of that time. People commented that I looked happier than I ever looked before and my daughter's, who was 6 at the time, grades and social skills began improving. I don't know what the hell I was thinking letting her come back. I guess I'm just a masochist. I hope that holidays aren't too tough on you. I wish you well. Edited October 26, 2009 by Jaspe_Loco
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