deux ex machina Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 * I have read on this board that if you can imagine your ex in bed with another, and feel pretty indifferent about it, then you are at a good level of detachment. It would have killed me to even dream of it before. Has anyone felt that way, and then backslid? I suppose it feels so very different, that I am wondering about it.
Odyssey Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Detachment? Dream? backslid? Yes, yes and yes After about 4 months nc, i was at the stage where i felt pretty good about myself, thinking about my ex with her bf didn't bother me anymore. Then i accidentally bumped into her in the street and i started thinking and even dreaming about her again (one nightmare was my ex's bf joining us for a threesome - WTF?!? Yuck! Lucky i woke up and never got to the ending). Sometimes i would wake up really depressed or angry, but can't remember the dream. It comes and goes. This only lasted about a week though. 6 months on, so far so good - fingers crossed it'll stay that way for me. Deux, what kind of things do you wonder about your ex? How are you coping so far?
Author deux ex machina Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Detachment? Dream? backslid? Yes, yes and yes After about 4 months nc, i was at the stage where i felt pretty good about myself, thinking about my ex with her bf didn't bother me anymore. Then i accidentally bumped into her in the street and i started thinking and even dreaming about her again (one nightmare was my ex's bf joining us for a threesome - WTF?!? Yuck! Lucky i woke up and never got to the ending). I had those kind of dreams, too! I had the same reaction you did, Odyssey. I wouldn't be surprised it that was some kind of thing that happens to a lot of people...could it be that it's the mind's way of getting used to the idea, but still can't quite keep us out of it yet? Huh. It's good to know that should go away pretty soon, lol. Sometimes i would wake up really depressed or angry, but can't remember the dream. It comes and goes. This only lasted about a week though. 6 months on, so far so good - fingers crossed it'll stay that way for me. Deux, what kind of things do you wonder about your ex? How are you coping so far? I'm coping well, all things considered. What I'm wondering about is whether it's a good sign that I'm not all that affected by thinking of him in bed with another. It's such a new thing...to not have a lot of strong emotion attached to such thoughts, but I find myself able to think of it and be relatively calm and detached about it.
Author deux ex machina Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Yes...my original post was clear as mud, wasn't it?
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