The Way I Am Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Maybe he's just exactly my "type" or something? Maybe in reality he's just average but I felt that zing and it's love at first sight? You might be onto something. Maybe not the love at first sight part, but that he's not "player", "bound-to-cheat" hot. I thought my ex was the most gorgeous guy I'd ever seen the second I saw him (I still think he's really good looking), but my friends were like, "Meh. He's ok looking." Maybe that idea will help you feel better on the date.
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Juno, good points, thanks. This is a good point, but I'm not concerned about that. I am quite fit, and beyond the occasional moments of typical female body insecurity, I don't worry about that too much. I love being naked for & with a man. It's just that this guy looked like he stepped out of GQ or something (the casual section lol), and I'm in my kinda arty hippie colorful Sunday fun clothes strollin' down the street. And I mean, I can't remember the last time I even saw a man this attractive, just from a purely visual standpoint. Maybe he's just exactly my "type" or something? Maybe in reality he's just average but I felt that zing and it's love at first sight? Ooooh, how we girls love the romance. I have always prided myself on not judging people based on their appearance, so here's the test on one end of the spectrum. We'll see what happens. Go for it And good luck Also for the record I dont buy that better looking people cheat more nonsense. Half the population is female. It isnt a major challenge for any guy to hook up. And often times uglier ones feel they have more to prove or that thye have missed out on. Frankly I find less attractive girls are often waaaay more unfaithful and available to guys who take the time to compliment them
MeganDoll Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Go for it And good luck Also for the record I dont buy that better looking people cheat more nonsense. Half the population is female. It isnt a major challenge for any guy to hook up. And often times uglier ones feel they have more to prove or that thye have missed out on. Frankly I find less attractive girls are often waaaay more unfaithful and available to guys who take the time to compliment them Exactly add in less attratcive people usally have not so attractive partners so therye not all that into their partner physiclaly and if somebody better coems along and hits on them they probably will cheat
gypsy_nicky Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 Go for it Frankly I find less attractive girls are often waaaay more unfaithful and available to guys who take the time to compliment them this is true.
gypsy_nicky Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 lol from reading the above posts. Ruby, maybe in your eyes the guy is GQ material that's why your extremely attracted to him. It's also good you actually let the previous one go because judging from your previous posts you weren't really into him physically hence no chemistry/spark between you two. ...and you were very rational about letting him go. Problem you now have is, when someone you really like comes along it gets difficult to let them go. rationality often times won't save you
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 19, 2009 Author Posted November 19, 2009 Ruby, maybe in your eyes the guy is GQ material that's why your extremely attracted to him. Problem you now have is, when someone you really like comes along it gets difficult to let them go. rationality often times won't save you You know, I was thinking about my last boyfriend, and I remember that the first time I saw him, I thought "OMG he's gorgeous!!", and I was intimidated by his good looks. But he had dated women who were "hot" and women who were average and didn't seem hung up on looks. BUT he had the worst roving eyes of any guy I've ever dated, and that sucked. But maybe that comes down to how masculine/alpha/whatever he was -- which is no doubt tied to his good looks. It's also good you actually let the previous one go because judging from your previous posts you weren't really into him physically hence no chemistry/spark between you two. It wasn't lack of physical attraction or spark. I thought he was very attractive. He wasn't as in-your-face sexy from the get-go, but he was definitely sexy to me. This one night, he was standing in the glow of my kitchen in nothing but his jeans, bed-headed, sexy tattoos wrapping around his muscles just right. I was like WOW, you are beautiful. Because of his mental and emotional barriers, I just didn't see anything lasting with him. I saw a lot of heartache in a future together. ...and you were very rational about letting him go. Thanks. I try to be open, honest, and fair with people always, and I think I did my best. Date is tonight!!! I am excited! I am preparing myself for it to be lame, just in case, but here's hoping it's fabulous!
AD1980 Posted November 19, 2009 Posted November 19, 2009 Hope everything works out.. Wish i could get that response from women but its usually the opposite:laugh:
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 The date was OK. He didn’t blow me away, but I might go on another date to learn more and see if there’s anything there. He suggested he'd like to get together again, and we tentatively agreed upon Sunday. We'll see. I hate to say it, but he does kind of fit the stereotype of very sexy guy who's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He's not dumb, by any means, but it's obvious his strength is rooted more in the body than in the mind. Of course, he told me that one of his favorite hobbies is working out, but he said he does it because he feels it's good for the mind -- the fitness and physical strength is just a beneficial side effect. Even though he was in dress pants and a button-down shirt from the day job (in finance, and he totally looks the part), and though only the skin and structure of his hands and face were visible, I could tell his body is an elegant powerhouse. He carried himself with quiet precision and calm, and people visibly responded to his strength and composure immediately -- both women and men. Pretty amazing to see the animal responses to his masculinity and strength. When that is your command in the world, I can see that the incentive to make a powerhouse out of your mind as well is low to moderate. The rest of it? I have a hard time imagining anything more than light-hearted fun with him. Though he's got great manners and decent conversation skills, he's got this slightly blasé attitude -- so typical of very attractive people. I guess he's used to having women throw themselves at him, and doesn't feel he needs to work hard to hook them. Just a pretty face and hot bod won't seal the deal for me, though. Not even close. I feel lukewarm about him at the moment. But I realize it was just one date.
BobSacamento Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Sounds you are intimidated by him. If he's in finance and still has a job, in this environment, then he must be pretty intelligent. Unless... is he a bank teller by chance? lol.
cognac Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Sounds you are intimidated by him. If he's in finance and still has a job, in this environment, then he must be pretty intelligent. Unless... is he a bank teller by chance? lol. What does one's job have to do with intelligence? I work at a crappy minimum wage job but I can talk to you for days and months about politics, history, philosophy, and even general wisdom and how I interpret life. And I know plenty of guys who are CEO's or some other kind of bigshot who are sports crazed retards with a paper thin personality (in fact I know many like this). I don't expect someone who looks so perfect, whether male or female, to have anything in their skull, mostly because it's all concentrated in the superficial. People like this make sure every hair is perfect, every muscle is toned, every thing is in style, to the point where they don't have time to think about anything else. Society rewards them despite being idiots, so they have no reason to change.
gypsy_nicky Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 The date was OK. He didn’t blow me away, but I might go on another date to learn more and see if there’s anything there. He suggested he'd like to get together again, and we tentatively agreed upon Sunday. We'll see. I hate to say it, but he does kind of fit the stereotype of very sexy guy who's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He's not dumb, by any means, but it's obvious his strength is rooted more in the body than in the mind. Of course, he told me that one of his favorite hobbies is working out, but he said he does it because he feels it's good for the mind -- the fitness and physical strength is just a beneficial side effect. Even though he was in dress pants and a button-down shirt from the day job (in finance, and he totally looks the part), and though only the skin and structure of his hands and face were visible, I could tell his body is an elegant powerhouse. He carried himself with quiet precision and calm, and people visibly responded to his strength and composure immediately -- both women and men. Pretty amazing to see the animal responses to his masculinity and strength. When that is your command in the world, I can see that the incentive to make a powerhouse out of your mind as well is low to moderate. The rest of it? I have a hard time imagining anything more than light-hearted fun with him. Though he's got great manners and decent conversation skills, he's got this slightly blasé attitude -- so typical of very attractive people. I guess he's used to having women throw themselves at him, and doesn't feel he needs to work hard to hook them. Just a pretty face and hot bod won't seal the deal for me, though. Not even close. I feel lukewarm about him at the moment. But I realize it was just one date. he sounds boring... How buffed was he (no homo)?
carhill Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Interesting that, to the OP, there doesn't appear to be mystery here, that quality which keeps a woman or man interested. I also see a critical eye being cast, perhaps as a function of too much forethought. I've been guilty of that, and know how much it colors the dynamic. The other person can pick up on it. I'd suggest going out on another date. Can't hurt. Focus on fun rather than analysis.
Agoraphobianebula Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Good Looking young men, I mean the really handsome men, perpetuate the "dumb blonde" stereotype more so than women. In my experience, the Brad Pitts and Tom Bradys of the world are very few and far between, thus they automatically command attention whereever they go, both from women and from men. As the OP was saying, people notice and are easily drawn to their strength, and their masculinity. Something about them, probably, the extremely handsome face/body combination, the height, broad shoulders, million dollar smile, makes women want to date them, men want to befriend them and both genders want to be around them. The younger these men are, they more they rely on their looks to pave the way for them. To get their way with women, they don't need anything but their looks, to get their way with men, all they need is to memorize some sports stats or better yet, play some kind of sport. I've known two or three men like this in my life because once again, they are a rare breed. One I remember was especially intriguing because he not only had women, ofcourse, clamoring to be with him. But straight men were also vying for his attention. Was a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket but he walked into a room and people light up, even strangers. Everyone wanted to be seen with or associated with him.
AD1980 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Good Looking young men, I mean the really handsome men, perpetuate the "dumb blonde" stereotype more so than women. In my experience, the Brad Pitts and Tom Bradys of the world are very few and far between, thus they automatically command attention whereever they go, both from women and from men. As the OP was saying, people notice and are easily drawn to their strength, and their masculinity. Something about them, probably, the extremely handsome face/body combination, the height, broad shoulders, million dollar smile, makes women want to date them, men want to befriend them and both genders want to be around them. The younger these men are, they more they rely on their looks to pave the way for them. To get their way with women, they don't need anything but their looks, to get their way with men, all they need is to memorize some sports stats or better yet, play some kind of sport. I've known two or three men like this in my life because once again, they are a rare breed. One I remember was especially intriguing because he not only had women, ofcourse, clamoring to be with him. But straight men were also vying for his attention. Was a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket but he walked into a room and people light up, even strangers. Everyone wanted to be seen with or associated with him. Its not some hard thing to figure out good looking people are adored and worshipped in our society just for having looks.. On a conscious and sometimes unconscious level we all to a degree treat good looking people better especially at first glance.. Ive seen numerous women like the op say they arent attracted to these pretty boys but in reality its because they probably feel theyre unatianable to them then and when they get hit on by these guys the women gets all giddy at the idea a man like this is attracted to her..Men are guilty of this as well.. Ive always said in this society id rather be known as an ahole and hadnsome then ugly and a good person it takes you farther..
cognac Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Its not some hard thing to figure out good looking people are adored and worshipped in our society just for having looks.. On a conscious and sometimes unconscious level we all to a degree treat good looking people better especially at first glance.. Ive seen numerous women like the op say they arent attracted to these pretty boys but in reality its because they probably feel theyre unatianable to them then and when they get hit on by these guys the women gets all giddy at the idea a man like this is attracted to her..Men are guilty of this as well.. Ive always said in this society id rather be known as an ahole and hadnsome then ugly and a good person it takes you farther.. It's called living in a base and mediocre society. It is indeed human to admire the beauty of attractive people. However, our society takes it to another level. While I love to look at beautiful humans in art, sculpture, and general aesthetics, I don't think this should be sufficient for these people to be in powerful positions in society. Unfortunately, they are and this is part of the reason why our culture is so goddamn stupid. Watch a movie from a foreign country for example. 9 Reinas, Kontroll, Brother, etc. All the people in these movies are decent looking, but they are non-the less, people from the street, not BRAD PITT. There is a certain fear in America of NOT portraying extremely physically beautiful people in every direction, the biggest reason for this is probably because here in America people in general are very ugly.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Ive seen numerous women like the op say they arent attracted to these pretty boys but in reality its because they probably feel theyre unatianable to them then and when they get hit on by these guys the women gets all giddy at the idea a man like this is attracted to her..Men are guilty of this as well.. Ive always said in this society id rather be known as an ahole and hadnsome then ugly and a good person it takes you farther.. Well, I don't know. I came home from my date to an e-mail from the guy I broke it off with a couple of weeks ago. And even before I read it, I was thinking that my first date with him was TONS better than the one with this guy, and my attraction to the other guy, all things considered, was stronger.
carhill Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 At my age, I find the former good looking ones who haven't aged well to be especially interesting in how they handle the new reality psychologically. OP, you'll have to decide if he's just adding you to a 'black book' or perhaps has some genuine interest and can grow on you. Look in the mirror and examine your expectations here as well, just based on this thread alone. I hope it works out for you
AD1980 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Well, I don't know. I came home from my date to an e-mail from the guy I broke it off with a couple of weeks ago. And even before I read it, I was thinking that my first date with him was TONS better than the one with this guy, and my attraction to the other guy, all things considered, was stronger. Im not saying youre gonna marry or even go on a second date with the guy all im saying is you claimed these pretty boys arent evne your type but the truth is good looking people in ths society have power and pretty much pick who they want for at least a fling anyway..
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 There is a certain fear in America of NOT portraying extremely physically beautiful people in every direction, the biggest reason for this is probably because here in America people in general are very ugly. America is a young nation founded on the striving and optimistic ideals of free enterprise, true equality, and achievement. The media and ad industries have distorted these ideals to capitalize on them and extort money from the nation's citizens, with chilling effectiveness. The further away these ideals of "perfection" are held from our daily lives, the more **** we will buy to try to bridge the gap. Many Americans are in a corporate choke-hold of thought, opinion, and lifestyle.
AD1980 Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 It's called living in a base and mediocre society. It is indeed human to admire the beauty of attractive people. However, our society takes it to another level. While I love to look at beautiful humans in art, sculpture, and general aesthetics, I don't think this should be sufficient for these people to be in powerful positions in society. Unfortunately, they are and this is part of the reason why our culture is so goddamn stupid. Watch a movie from a foreign country for example. 9 Reinas, Kontroll, Brother, etc. All the people in these movies are decent looking, but they are non-the less, people from the street, not BRAD PITT. There is a certain fear in America of NOT portraying extremely physically beautiful people in every direction, the biggest reason for this is probably because here in America people in general are very ugly. A guy i know from Europe told me when he came to this country he was shocked by the celebrity lust.. Said he saw all these married people still doing it and said he thought it was unhealthy and basically telling your parnter listen im with you because i had to settle but this is a guy/girl id truly lust after if i had the chance he/shes superior to you..
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 Im not saying youre gonna marry or even go on a second date with the guy all im saying is you claimed these pretty boys arent evne your type but the truth is good looking people in ths society have power and pretty much pick who they want for at least a fling anyway.. I went on a date with him. This is my first conventional "dating period" ever, and I feel it's prudent to get out of my comfort zone, and get a glimpse of a wide range of types of men. I am aware of the advantages a guy like this has, but I am not a victim to them.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 A guy i know from Europe told me when he came to this country he was shocked by the celebrity lust.. I lived in Europe at two different times in my life, for 3 years total, and I was shocked to see that in magazines, they do not airbrush out women's wrinkles and cellulite. There was a fitness feature, with a slender, in-shape woman with a little bit of visible cellulite on the backs of her legs (totally normal, though many men on this forum love to argue that it's not -- they are completely brainwashed by the media and ad industries). In comparison, the images of people in magazines in the US look like idealized robots. It's really sickening.
jerseyboy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Intelligence, wit, and charm are rare regardless of looks and body type. Only rarer when you try to combine them with good looks and a fit body as it is a much smaller subset of individuals. There is probably something to the "how hard you try" thing, as people tend to try only as hard as needed in general. A larger issue is likely entitlement feelings many people harbor
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2009 Author Posted November 20, 2009 he sounds boring... How buffed was he (no homo)? Hard to tell. So far, the most I have seen is his forearms, the first time we spoke. He's not some overblown beefcake -- just completely fit from head to toe, with low body fat and compact muscle. And he's naturally got a masculine, solid body type, with broad shoulders.
jerseyboy Posted November 20, 2009 Posted November 20, 2009 Im not saying youre gonna marry or even go on a second date with the guy all im saying is you claimed these pretty boys arent evne your type but the truth is good looking people in ths society have power and pretty much pick who they want for at least a fling anyway.. LOL Dont be bitter bro
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