Ruby Slippers Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Yesterday I was walking home, very dressed down in cords and a hoodie, no makeup or hair-do, and this ridiculously gorgeous man stopped me to ask for directions. After I helped him out, he started chatting with me and eventually asked me out for coffee sometime. He asked for my number, but since I was suspicious, given his dashing good looks, and since I'm seeing someone new right now and have never multi-dated, I told him to give me his number. This bought me some time to think about whether I want to talk to him again. This guy was smoking hot with a gorgeous body. I'm all right, but this guy is male model material. I feel pretty naive about this stuff, still. So, LSers, I ask you... He's just looking for a hookup, yes? (He's so delicious, I'm tempted to call him just for that. If I weren't dating this other guy and considering him, I might. )
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 In terms of men you shouldn't be worried as much about looks as you are about a man's personality. It's interesting women are often worried about a man that's too good looking, when women in general are attracted to a man's personality. In other words, if you are to be worried about an attrative man, be worried about a confident man, since he will attract more women than a good looking idiot.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Can't say about this man Ruby but there was a poster recently that posted about how he was a very good looking man and women never took him seriously for relationships because of his looks. And it would frustrate him. So i think all you can do is give it a try, go out with him and don't give him sex until you know it's going somewhere..that is if you are intersted. I am very sure very hot men are more players but not all hot men are.
sally4sara Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Its up to you dear. Just how revved up about the guy you've been seeing were you prior to Mr. Hot Stuff making an appearance? And don't make this choice about what guys would do in your position; that isn't ambition or having a moral compass. Be true to you.
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Just call him you dork! Be confident in yourself. (Just heed any red flags)
AD1980 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 when women in general are attracted to a man's personality. Thats a huge myth,not that women dont care about perosnality but women are just as if not more superficial then men
Leia Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I would give it a go just for the heck of it! It could turn out to be fun, ya know ...
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Thats a huge myth,not that women dont care about perosnality but women are just as if not more superficial then men No, it is you that believes in the huge myth that's trying to even out natural male and female differences. Men are NATURALLY definitely more visual than women. Not saying women are not visual. Get an average looking extremely confident women. Get an average looking extremely confident man. Throw them into the dating scene and see what happens. The man will attract more of the opposite sex. Just think Donald Trump vs......Oprah. Then get a super hot woman, dumb as a brick and a super hot man, dumb as a brick The woman will attract more of the opposite sex. Just think Pamela Anderson Vs, any good looking male model.
AD1980 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 No, men are definitely more visual than women. Not saying women are not visual. Get an average looking extremely confident women. Get an average looking extremely confident man. Throw them into the dating scene and see what happens. The man will attract more of the opposite sex. Just think Donald Trump vs......Oprah. Then get a super hot woman, dumb as a brick and a super hot man, dumb as a brick The woman will attract more of the opposite sex. Just think Pamela Anderson Vs, any good looking male model. Yeah if the Man has money and status then that trumps looks thats about the only way. And a Male Model has no problem getitng women i dont know where u came up with that.. The idea that looks isnt high on a womens list is laughable..Look at posts like this or how a guy treated a girl like crap ignores her and is a jerk but she still wants him because hes attractive.. Youre giving women too much credit..
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Yeah if the Man has money and status then that trumps looks thats about the only way. And a Male Model has no problem getitng women i dont know where u came up with that.. The idea that looks isnt high on a womens list is laughable..Look at posts like this or how a guy treated a girl like crap ignores her and is a jerk but she still wants him because hes attractive.. Youre giving women too much credit.. A male model dumb as a brick can't get many women. What you on about? You obviously know NONE and going on based on your own ignorant opinion. The point is RELATIVE advantage. Which you clearly have no concept about.
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Both sexes care about looks and personality. Women need a strong, confident man and those traits can and often do trump looks. Men want a sexy, confident woman but tend to care more about looks than women do. Women will LEAVE a man who is dead sexy but lacks confidence, self-esteem or does not have a great personality. Men will STAY with women who lack confidence and personality but are smoking hot. Got it?
Leia Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Both sexes care about looks and personality. Women need a strong, confident man and those traits can and often do trump looks. Men want a sexy, confident woman but tend to care more about looks than women do. Women will LEAVE a man who is dead sexy but lacks confidence, self-esteem or does not have a great personality. Men will STAY with women who lack confidence and personality but are smoking hot. Got it? Darn boy! You know your stuff!
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Both sexes care about looks and personality. Women need a strong, confident man and those traits can and often do trump looks. Men want a sexy, confident woman but tend to care more about looks than women do. Women will LEAVE a man who is dead sexy but lacks confidence, self-esteem or does not have a great personality. Men will STAY with women who lack confidence and personality but are smoking hot. Got it? Nope, don't get it. It's about RELATIVE importance. Men care about looks more than women do. Women clearly care more about men's success more. Just look at how way MORE men pay for strippers, hookers. How many women pay for gigilos? Also there are vastly more female gold diggers, strippers, etc after male possessions. A lot fewer men marry up to get hold of a woman's money. It's basic human nature. Evolved over millions of years. Edited October 26, 2009 by BookerT
Leia Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Nope, don't get it. It's about RELATIVE importance. Men care about looks more than women do. Women clearly care more about men's success more, and men care about women's looks more. Dude, it's more about the personality. Wait ... are you a dude? Anyway, most women nowadays have their own money and they are successful [even more so than some men] so it's irrelevent.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Its up to you dear. Just how revved up about the guy you've been seeing were you prior to Mr. Hot Stuff making an appearance? That is something I am grappling with. At this point, it seems that current guy is more into me than I am him. He treats me very well, our dates are always hot and fun, and I enjoy our physical connection so far, but I'm not sure yet whether I see long-term potential with him. And he seems to be getting more attached and invested, so I don't want to let this get too far and hurt him if I break it off. I have been completely honest about my feelings and concerns all along, but I think I need to get a little more serious and open about all this next time we talk. And don't make this choice about what guys would do in your position; that isn't ambition or having a moral compass. Be true to you. No way. It's becoming more and more obvious to me I could have endless male hotness in my bed right now, but that is not my primary desire. Ultimately, I want one strong, loyal, long-term partner who also brings the hotness. I am leaning toward at least having coffee with him. I mean, why not? Dating is supposed to be about seeing what's out there and having fun, right? In the very least, it will be interesting to find out what a super sexy guy is like underneath the pretty surface. Probably just like the rest of us, really. My first boyfriend was super attractive but DUMB, so I got tired of that fast. This guy was not only gorgeous, but also seemed intelligent, well-spoken, and sweet. Could be the jackpot. We'll see. I'm having fun with all this!
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Dude, it's more about the personality. Wait ... are you a dude? Anyway, most women nowadays have their own money and they are successful [even more so than some men] so it's irrelevent. Personality and success although not 100% correlated are related. A lazy bum is unlikely to succed. An alpha male that's confident and a risk taker is more likely to attract more women. Can vary amongst industries. From Colin Ferrel, Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, etc. I'm a dude, and the irony is my female lawyer friends or female banker friends are MUCH more picky about men than the average women even though they have their own money. Women tend to want even more successful men than they personally are, and it makes it really hard for successful women to find men. How many female lawyers are happy to marry a guy working in Macdonalds because he's got a cool personality? The myth that women and men are the same, when in reality the RELATIVE differences are huge is a product of political correctness. It is not a product of reality. Edited October 26, 2009 by BookerT
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 As for men and women and physical attraction, I have been reading a lot about this subject lately, as part of my hobby interest in evolutionary stable strategy, biology, and mating strategy/behavior. In a nutshell, both men and women are most revved up sexually by the appealing physical components of the opposite sex. Women, however, usually take a longer-term, bigger-picture view of relationships, given their biological drive to ensure that they and their offspring are secure. Hence, loyalty, fidelity, intelligence, protectiveness, bread winning, and other qualities that indicate character strength and investment in a man are higher on the priority list for women. But everyone wants to mix their own genes with those of a partner who is strong, healthy, etc. -- hence the universal attraction to the physically attractive. Now that we women are capable of bringing home our own bacon and taking care of ourselves, we can more clearly and easily evaluate opportunities as they may arise, including light and meaningless fun with a sex bomb who is probably a less likely candidate for long term. But I've never been too hung up on appearance. It doesn't seem fair to rule out a guy for being too cute. We'll see.
BookerT Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Hence, loyalty, fidelity, intelligence, protectiveness, bread winning, and other qualities that indicate character strength and investment in a man are higher on the priority list for women. This is only partly true. Since alpha males/strong males are much more likely to be having sex with a lot of females (spread their seed) and won't be a steady partner. The opitmal strategy for a female is to have a faithful male be her partner, then cheat on him with the alpha male, and use the faithful male in a cuckoo effect, and have sex with the alpha male. I think you should read into evolutionary psychology more. Anyway, the attractive males spreading their seed, and the women using the cuckooing effect explains most of the cheating we see in modern society, even though we're more advanced than our ancestors.
AD1980 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 As i said both genders are highly superficial in their own ways Women on here syaing they wont date guys who they are close to in height in 4 or 5inch heels isnt a sign of extreme superficialness?
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Since alpha males/strong males are much more likely to be having sex with a lot of females (spread their seed) and won't be a steady partner. The opitmal strategy for a female is to have a faithful male be her partner, then cheat on him with the alpha male, and use the faithful male in a cuckoo effect, and have sex with the alpha male. Anyway, the attractive males spreading their seed, and the women using the cuckooing effect explains most of the cheating we see in modern society, even though we're more advanced than our ancestors. Yes, I have read all about the cuckold phenomenon, and I completely agree about the cheating. But it goes deeper than that. Fidelity, honesty, integrity, morals, and ethics are characteristics of the more evolved of the human species, so a smart and evolved person will find a partner who offers a buffet of good mating qualities, including physical, mental, and emotional soundness.
AD1980 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 A female friend of mien said for women its al labout pheromones and if those go off for her in a man shes ready to attack..Bascially said women go after the guys who seem the most "fertile"
ecm Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 That sounds like it's from a movie or something. A scary movie. Actually, it happened on Criminal Minds... a character who is a bigger girl doubted that this guy really wanted her... her friends said trust her gut (no pun intended-hahahahaha- I'm not skinny so I can make that joke ) Anyway, he ended up shooting her. Do you have any friends who are cops who could check this guy out? Hate to be a downer, I'm just suspicious of things that seem "weird". If not, just make sure you meet him out in public
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Nope, don't get it. It's about RELATIVE importance. Men care about looks more than women do. Women clearly care more about men's success more. Just look at how way MORE men pay for strippers, hookers. How many women pay for gigilos? Also there are vastly more female gold diggers, strippers, etc after male possessions. A lot fewer men marry up to get hold of a woman's money. It's basic human nature. Evolved over millions of years. Women DO care about looks, just not as much as men. And there is a trend with women who end up with successful men (looks/fame/etc) who end up cheating on them anyway if their looks fade. Dude, it's more about the personality. Wait ... are you a dude? Anyway, most women nowadays have their own money and they are successful [even more so than some men] so it's irrelevent. I agree that confidence/personality outweigh looks but only to a degree. If he doesn't take care of himself and TRY to look his best then she will be more tempted to stray. This is only partly true. Since alpha males/strong males are much more likely to be having sex with a lot of females (spread their seed) and won't be a steady partner. The opitmal strategy for a female is to have a faithful male be her partner, then cheat on him with the alpha male, and use the faithful male in a cuckoo effect, and have sex with the alpha male. I think you should read into evolutionary psychology more. Anyway, the attractive males spreading their seed, and the women using the cuckooing effect explains most of the cheating we see in modern society, even though we're more advanced than our ancestors. Cuckoo effect, I agree. But this is why I stated that men need to take care of themselves physically as well as emotionally. As i said both genders are highly superficial in their own ways Women on here syaing they wont date guys who they are close to in height in 4 or 5inch heels isnt a sign of extreme superficialness? I wouldn't say extreme but it is superficial to some degree. Then again, most people have ZERO control over what they are attracted to and it's only when meeting a guy who doesn't fall into their normal category (by chance) who has a great personality do they make exceptions. Yes, I have read all about the cuckold phenomenon, and I completely agree about the cheating. But it goes deeper than that. Fidelity, honesty, integrity, morals, and ethics are characteristics of the more evolved of the human species, so a smart and evolved person will find a partner who offers a buffet of good mating qualities, including physical, mental, and emotional soundness. Agreed. It's people who can't control their "animalistic" traits who end up cheating or end up with a jerk and can't walk away from them.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) omg, ecm, don't tell me that! He could be a good-looking psycho! I actually did consider something like that -- I've never really dated like I'm doing now, without knowing the guys for a while first, so I'm pretty paranoid about this stuff. But men have been hitting on me like crazy, which sure is fun. I guess I am giving off a vibe -- I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I am getting back into tip-top shape and dressing pretty girlie again when I go out. During my single year, I was in total "leave me alone" mode toward men. I didn't have my phone on me, so he just wrote down his first name and number -- that means I don't have his last name or anything. But I would call him from my cell, meet at a public place, and not accept a ride or anything the first time, before I had more background info on him. Edited October 26, 2009 by Ruby Slippers
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 RS, stop being a wuss, lol! Go meet him for coffee during the day in a well-lit, public place then come back here and give us a full report when you're back.
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