My shocking Experince.. Ex girlfirend.. you dont know what you have untill it's gone.

[boy]

first of all i would like to say thanks for all those out their who are reading this.. the only way you learn is by experience and it is very much appreciated when people give advice to others as it means alot..

 

im 18 years old, going to be 19 soon.. i broke with my Ex girlfriend end of august.. we went out for 15 months and the relationship was the best one i could ever get into.. i miss her sometimes and i dont blame myself as it's natural the more time you spend with someone the more attached you feel..

 

i have been in alot of relationships before that buh it wasn't anything serious and i was just playing about and not taking them seriously.. i believe i have hurt few of my ex's in my past and sometimes i feel bad about that buh we all make mistakes as we are young.. i meet this girl at work and i was tottaly crazy about her.. we dated first and i asked her out on the first date which is something that you dont do buh i did cuz thats how much i loved her.. we were doing gr8 and i was the person who would always try hard to make the relationship better.. even if i was having a bad time no matter what happend i was always their for her.. suddenly i fell in love with her which i knew i shouldnt be because we were from different race and i knew that we would have no future...

i was quite popular with girls and had alot of name and fame buh i eventually stopped everything for my Ex so she wouldnt complain about anything.. My best friends who i have known them for years were complaining because every weekend i would be with her.. My friends would come from far away just to meet me and i was so selfish and stupid that i would still go and meet my Ex just so she doesnt feel that she is not important...

 

I Have a ethnic background and like i said we were from differnt race, therefore i had to keep this relationship secretive which at the end i found out she wasn't to happy about that..

 

she cheated on me rite at the beggining of the relationship which i never found out from her untill our 9 and half month relationship i was pissed of devastated and very angry.. i broke up with her straight away because i warned her rite at the begging.. Look we are both adults lets stop this childish game of cheating.. in order for relationship to last we got to have 'TRUST' understaing and communication which we had... everyone knows once trust goes it never comes back.. That day when i found out she cheated on me... i called her and i went MENTAL i said alot of things which are hard to take.. however i had my limits because i would never call some with the words which hurt really badly.. I respect girls and i believe eveyone should.. Anyways that nite i was so angry that i broke my window and walked out.. while on the phone to her she was just quit and didint say much although i knew that she was hurt and regreted that moment i still went to see her JUST so she would be Ok even though from deep inside i was HEART broken because i did so much and i mean So much for her..

in a way it a one side relationship because i was doing everything.. i used to tell her about anything and everything and the only thing that i would start the arguments over was BECAUSE of her pat which would literally annoy me.. i dont believe in one night stand as one person always regrets it.. like she was.. the next morning i went kolg and i was very down luckly one of my gud friend relaised something was wrong and she pulled me into the classroom and told me what happend.. i told her everyhting and she said as im girl i undertand how she is feeling rite now.. she regrets it and has learnt that it was wrong thing to do so dont end up ur long term relationship and get bak with and thats what i did.. we got back and we were like magic i loved her truly.. i tired letting her past go buh i just couldnt because i would imagine her sleeping with someone else and it would kill me sometimes i couldnt go to sleep because when i would think of her in a bad way..

 

Howveer we started arguing well loads, i would say i did because i couldnt accept the fact why she would do that when everything is going so perfect.. i gave her second chance as i believed we all make mistakes.. Anyways she went to holidas for a month and we were in touch by emails and phone calls.. this was the longest distance we ever had.. days were getting closer and i was dying to see her.. shockingly when she came back the evening she arrived and was at the airport, i texted her and everything buh she wasnt talking to me properly texting in weird way like not saying love u and stuff.. i figured out something was wrong..

 

That day she came home and i phoned her and straight away we spoke for a bit and she goes there are few things i need to tell u buh 2nite is not a gud time as im tired and i said the same thing because i had family things going on..

the next day i was very busy and at nite time i contacted her she siad that i dont feel the same way for you anymore which came out of the blue and was totallly something i wasnt expecting.. therefore we broke up.. then i went to meet her and we spoke for a bit buh i knew there was a reason behind breaking up as she wasnt telling me the truth.. i was so gud at telling when someone was lies and i cought her rite their.. And trust me i was damn gud at reading her mind lik what she is thinking and what she wants to say.. Anyways i got the lies out of her when i was with her.. i went insane and mad buh kept my anger inside and i slept with her on purpose because while she was on holidas she cheated on me Again..!!!

after we had sex i told her thats what you did over the holidas with some stranger and you have fun for 10 minths buh then u regret it... i had Sex with her to prove my point that this is not everything..

 

We broke up then and its been 2 months that we havnt contacted..

 

lets get to the point.. she was selfish never did anything for me.. all she ever wanted was to have some fun when considering i changed my whole life for her.. i never cheated on her once considering she cheated on me twice.. my friends would always say break up with her buh i was to deeply in love with her that no matter how much i was hurt i would never wanted to see a tear in her eyes.. believe me i did soo much for her that an example would be we would go out quite alot i never letted her pay for anything... i was always theri for her and she was never their for me..

 

The time when she broke up with me was the worst time of my life... Because firstly family things were going on.. my ex breaking up with me.. Kolg stressful problems, i almost went in depression not just because of the fact that my GF dumped , it was because 3/4 really bad things happend at once.. that moment i realised why people commit suicde.. alhtough im not stupid and i would never do that.. Buh people commit sucide because they believe they have no way out of their solutions.. i was in a worse situation and in a long term stress.. the time when i needed u the most was the time when she walked out on me.. even consedering when i had my problems i would never preffered sharing it with her as i believed that she would feel down because of me... i gave her my whole world and all i expetecd from her was a little apprecication.. she was very good at playing games and she would always stay quite and act innocnent as if she had done nothing wrong and that thing used to piss me off.. at the point of break up she told me she wasnt going to go out with anyone, i want to be single i had enuff of everything and blah blah.. what killed me was that the next week she was going out with guys who i know and was going clubbing every day.. getting pissed and sumtimes she would call me at like 4 in the morning and i would loosee it. i used to be quite strong and confident.. life is a expericne and you learn.. time heels everything...

 

i still miss her alot sumtimes and having the feeling that she is with someone else just kills me..Although i have moved on a bit buh some pieces are still their.. i dont think i will be able to love anyone else like the way i did to her.. i question was myself how can someone be so heartless, selfish and dont care about anything when i never broke her heart never did anything wrong always tried to be perfect just to make her happy.. all i cared about was her being happy gave her everything, she had freedom i never questioned her about anything... it kills me and i suffer quite badly because of that even though it has almost been two months..

 

Thanks for those who have read this.. feedback or comments would be really appreciated...

[mickleb]

Why is there a smiley face on this thread, btw? (And this is picky, I know, but what's with spelling but as 'buh'? Sorry, don't get that. Found it a bit annoying.)

 

Anyway: where is your self-esteem, young man? She treated you like sh*t and you let her.

 

You need to do a lot of work here, on you. I don't know why you are so deeply unhappy with yourself but you've got to get onto that and figure it all out. Easier said than done, I know but necessary.

 

Get some help doing this. See your doctor or college counsellor, someone.

 

She was the problem here, in that she was a terribly bad choice for you. You need to know why you make (and stick with) choices like this.

 

Take some time out from dating. Don't find someone else as a distraction from this. Find you.

 

Best of luck, buddy. x