katiekayla1 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I am a very young 33 almost 34(I look 24-26ish). I am in the beauty industry and keep myself up very nicely.He is a true 45(and looks 50) When we met he was interested in dressing nice. Now 2yrs. later has put on weight(the old pregnant look,skinny everywhere else but the belly) and shows no interest in "looking cute" for me anymore even when I offer to help him put together an outfit(he actually gets pissed). I don't mean to sound like all that matters is looks,but I feel like people are "looking"at us when we go out,thinking is that her Dad?? What is REALLY SCAREY is my parents had me very young(Mom was 16!)so my boyfriend is only 5yrs. younger than my Dad. However, he is the most wonderful and caring human being I know. He adores me and we have all the ingredients for a great relationship/marriage. How do I get over the age thing, or don't I?? And no, he doesn't have money LOL! I truly love him, but let's face it.... looks matter to some degree.
Lucky_One Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 OK - you are over on Marriage bitching because he won't ask you to marry him, and you have second thoughts about him because he won't let you dress him? I can PROMISE you one thing. Every day that passes, he is going to be one day older. He is going to age, he is going to look older and older, he is going to dress more and more like an old man, his body is going to degrade with every day that passes. If you seriously have issues because of his age and his body, then you do NOT need to be married to him.
Author katiekayla1 Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 I know, I complain alot. I do want to marry him, just wanting advice on the age thing. I know he'll age and so will I. There are things he can at least try to look more youthful without over doing. Patience is not one of my virtues, that's for sure.....LOL
Lucky_One Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I get that you WANT to be married to him, but I really think that you are looking at marriage as a meal-ticket to family stability for you and your D. I am NOT getting that you want him as your husband. Any sort of distaste over a poochy tummy and non-youthful clothing translates into personal distaste - and you should NOT marry someone that you find distasteful.
dreamergrl Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 OP, I don't think you want to marry him. If you do, you should want to marry for him for who he is, not who he could be. Maybe he is comfortable with how he is. I am 28 and often get mistaken for 22. Naturally as well, no thanks to the beauty industry. I know that an age difference of 10 years or more would bother me, there for I go for guys who are closer to my age. I don't want to change a person. I want to be with someone because that is who they are.
Lauriebell82 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Oh Katiekay, I don't think this man is for you. You want him to accept you the way you are (struggling financially, jobless) but you can't accept that he is older then you and has "let himself go." Ask yourself why that is. My fiance is losing his hair but I'm not about to bitch or complain about the fact that he is. I still think he is handsome and hot as can be. You need to think about this. Is this REALLY the man you want to marry? I mean REALLY???
Luna Tears Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 To OP, I'm ten years younger then my partner of four years. I notice the lines starting to appear on his face around his eyes and on his forehead. I think it gives him character. As for your husband aging, geez woman we all age. I'm 25 and he is 35, I still have a fresh face despite the age gap. Here is a quote. "Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end.". After reading both comments, it seems you want to be owed to be married. I am not yet engaged to my beau but we talk of marriage but I like the arragement we have now.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Get over it or move on. If he's not interested in your suggestions, you are NEVER going to change him. Never fall in love with a man's potential. If you don't love who he is right here, right now - you are with the wrong person. You'd love it "if only he'd...." But that's not the way it works. Learn to love him unconditionally or do him a favor and move on.
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