nekoxchaos Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Hi, My bf of almost a year broke up with me, Yesterday was supposed to be our anniversary. This is my first serious relationship, I'm 3 years older. We met at school through a mutual friend. He was the first to say I love you and I was a bit shocked about it at first. I admit we've had a rocky relationship, I have self confidence issues and could get pretty jealous and upset over little things and those were the issues that we constantly had fights over. We interned together this summer, he began showing doubts about the relationships and tried calling it off a few times, I did everything that I shouldn't have done and begged and pleaded. Eventually we'd get back together but every time I'd try to bring up the issue or talk about working things out he would suddenly change subject or does not want to talk about it. I figured it wouldn't be right for him to take me back and act lovey dovey if there were still issues to be worked out. We'll currently his abroad for a study abroad program. We actually almost broke up while he was there but quickly got back, again without addressing the issue or not giving me an answer. We would still talk everyday and skype, he actually hooked me up with a job before he left so I have found myself busy. Anyways we had a huge fight, at first I tried pleading him again and the day after we talked and it didnt help at all. This is the time I choose to really go NC, he sent me a email saying not to write him anymore because it would hurt to read it. Usually I'm the first to send emails or call or try to contact. But I felt i've lost so much self respect and dignity that way. Also I figured he didn't need anymore stress in life since he is studying abroad, even though I told him i wanted to be there for him he totally rejected me and didn't want it. He also told me it would be easier for me to move on if I hated him but I really dont want to waste my energy on something like hate and anger even if I go through the motions once in a while. So its been 1 week so far, I have to say I'm proud of myself for going this long... I know its only been a week but I feel like its an accomplishment. Saturday was supposed to be our anniversary but instead I celebrated 6 days of NC. I still love him alot and it hurts to know that I probably wont be able to see him when he gets back, his usually concerned about how im feeling but I haven't heard from him yet. He told me he didn't see being with me and some mean things that really hurt. I'm one of those hopeful fools and hope that one day he'll contact me... but when that happens I think I really want him to earn it this time around, I used to just give myself to him before without him earning it and that's what I've been angry at myself for.
Recommended Posts