davids Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Im not really sure where to start this, but ill answer all questions that everyone has for me. Ive been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. Its been quite the year. shes 17, and im about to be 20. She will be eighteen in one month. Her parents are VERY controlling, and never let her go out with anyone. They are very religious, and believe that if you arent religious, you will somehow harm their daughter. I am not religious, they dont like me, our relationship is currently a secret to them. Ive been in this relationship where i rarely get to see my girlfriend. Only because i truly believe she is worth it. In the time we have been together, i have turned down multiple girls, in hopes that once my girlfriend turns eighteen, things will change. As in she will become independent, and we will be on 'normal' status. I hope all of that made sense. On the other side of my life, i feel depressed. I dont want to sound 'cocky' or anything, but im a very intellegent person. I had a very high gpa in highschool, and dropped out of college because i couldnt get motivated. I feel that i need to be working towards a specific goal. But i have absolutely no idea what i want to do with my life. If some magical being appeared before me, and said i could start whatever job i desire tomorrow, i couldnt choose. Other things in my life (parents divorce, friends betrayal etc), have just cause me to be 'down' lately. Feeling like i need to severely change things asap. I feel that if i run away from everything i have, things will get better. Ive been having thoughts of leaving my girlfriend, in hopes of bettering my life. Im not really sure what my question is... I guess i just want people to tell me what they think about this. It seems that everyones completely honest in this forum, and thats what i want thanks
Clep Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Sounds to me like you are lacking in direction and a personal purpose in life. How will leaving your girlfriend and running away change the situation? I see you say she is worth the wait but you are contemplating leaving her. How will your future be bettered...what brings you to this conclusion? What exactly about your life needs to change asap?
Author davids Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Sounds to me like you are lacking in direction and a personal purpose in life. How will leaving your girlfriend and running away change the situation? I see you say she is worth the wait but you are contemplating leaving her. How will your future be bettered...what brings you to this conclusion? What exactly about your life needs to change asap? Im working a dead end job, and im not going anywhere...because i dont know what to do. I spend countless nights/weekends ALONE. because this town sucks, friends moved away, i dont drink/party, and my girlfriend cant be with me, and that frustrates me. its not her fault, but it somehow makes me very angry and just want to leave the situation completely i hate how my life is currently.
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 First of all, things between your GF and her family will not magically change after her 18th birthday. They'll still have the same fear, treat her the same way until she no longer lives with them. Family dynamics dont' change over night. As for your schooling: GET BACK IN SCHOOL. The beauty of college is you don't have to declare a major until you're a junior. That gives you two years to figure out what you want to do. I left college young and didn't finish until I was 33. Big mistake. I'd be much further along in life by now if I'd just gotten the degree. Running away isn't going to help. Stay where you are, get focused on school again, and see what your GF does next.
Author davids Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 First of all, things between your GF and her family will not magically change after her 18th birthday. They'll still have the same fear, treat her the same way until she no longer lives with them. Family dynamics dont' change over night. Ive told her that if things dont change, im not going to wait around forever. She says shes going to move out...but who knows what will happen. This girl means alot to me, but the situation with her is adding stress to my already stressful life As for your schooling: GET BACK IN SCHOOL. The beauty of college is you don't have to declare a major until you're a junior. That gives you two years to figure out what you want to do. I left college young and didn't finish until I was 33. Big mistake. I'd be much further along in life by now if I'd just gotten the degree. Running away isn't going to help. Stay where you are, get focused on school again, and see what your GF does next. Everyone keeps telling me this. But i work full time, and i did the work/school thing for a whille, and i was miserable.
Clep Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Im working a dead end job, and im not going anywhere...because i dont know what to do. I spend countless nights/weekends ALONE. because this town sucks, friends moved away, i dont drink/party, and my girlfriend cant be with me, and that frustrates me. its not her fault, but it somehow makes me very angry and just want to leave the situation completely i hate how my life is currently. Well the dead end job isn't going to go anywhere without your education. First things first...I think get back into school. That will take care of the schooling part, dead end job as well as the friends. You will make friends quickly in school. I view things differently than you about the gf. To me it seems like age isn't the determining factor here, but the inability that your gf has making decisions that do not match the expectations of her parents on her. I am not sure how that is going to change when she turns 18. Has she given you any indication as to how that would change things, or is that an assumption on your part. If you leave, you will be in a strange place, with a dead end job, and no gf. I'm not seeing how that will fix much except feelings for the moment.
Author davids Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Well the dead end job isn't going to go anywhere without your education. First things first...I think get back into school. That will take care of the schooling part, dead end job as well as the friends. You will make friends quickly in school. I view things differently than you about the gf. To me it seems like age isn't the determining factor here, but the inability that your gf has making decisions that do not match the expectations of her parents on her. I am not sure how that is going to change when she turns 18. Has she given you any indication as to how that would change things, or is that an assumption on your part. If you leave, you will be in a strange place, with a dead end job, and no gf. I'm not seeing how that will fix much except feelings for the moment. She hates the way her parents are. She has a place lined up to live once she turns eighteen. she is unsure if she will be able to support herself though. her parents have brainwashed her to believe that she 'needs' them. Im not sure what she is going to do yet...but im waiting it out. my backup plan is to join the military...get some direction and purpose in life.
Clep Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 She hates the way her parents are. She has a place lined up to live once she turns eighteen. she is unsure if she will be able to support herself though. her parents have brainwashed her to believe that she 'needs' them. Im not sure what she is going to do yet...but im waiting it out. my backup plan is to join the military...get some direction and purpose in life. Well since you have decided to wait it out, leaving the gf does not seem to be an option right now. I would personally opt for the school over the military. When you get out of the military, it is back to a dead end job. In the time you are in the military you could be part way into your schooling and to that great paying job. Just a thought.
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