kirkland Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 So I told the girl I love the truth, and she accepted it. She's moving to Maine in the fall, but I can't leave with her. I'm planning on visiting her as often as I can, but we're going to be separated for months at a time. What are some good methods I can use to keep this relationship alive?
gracielou Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 communication! skype, Aim, texting anything you can do to keep communication open. My boyfriend and I are on different coasts of the US, we use skype every night. We have made it a point to talk to each other every night if possible. Sometimes due to the time change its not possible. We also talk pretty consistantly throughout the day, either with gmail or Aim or texting each other. The constant communication between us has helped our relationship a lot. Avoid fighting if you can, but if it happens avoid the urge to hang up on eachother. Keep talking until you can both work it out, or come to some type of an agreement. When you visit make it about the two of you. cook her dinner or do something you both like to do. Let each other know how much you mean to each other. its a lot of work, and the distance can make or break your relationship. Its really hard and may be alot harder than you expect.
nowvoyager Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I agree with gracielou.. communicate. The more I hear from my SO the less disconnected I feel when we're seperate. When you're in a usual relationship and see each other every day you share the little things, so you have to remember to do that in a LDR as well. The other thing is that you have to be careful about when you do have arguments or are cross with each other, I found it escalates when you're not able to deal with things face to face. I've practiced being a lot calmer and more tolerant than I probably have before, and not grown as upset when something negative happens. It's often not worth it anyway. As for the good things, there's all sorts of things you can do to keep some of that magic alive, and there's suggestions all over this forum. My SO and I both like to read, and we try to choose books to read together and talk about, we also like listening to the same radio programmes so that we can discuss the issues raised. Movies too. You have to be a bit creative. I won't lie to you though, it's going to be tougher than you think. Sometimes loneliness and missing them is just about too much to bear. But you get to decide if it's better on balance than breaking up, and if you love then it's worth it. And then there's the reunions... oh my.... !
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