velocitii Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I met this girl about a year and a half ago in college, and I asked her to eat lunch but we never got around to it till around last month. There was absolutely no planning involved...I saw her randomly one morning while I was waiting for class and we decided to go eat afterwards. We ate at one of those pay at the counter spots, and as I was taking out my wallet she jumped in front of me and said It's my treat! and of course I ask her why, and her answer is I want to, and I just offer to treat her next time and she responds enthuisiastically with OK! During lunch, she asked me if I wanted a girlfriend and I told her I don't know and she offered to set me up with a friend of hers that was younger than me but I told her I like older women (shes older) and she also said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend because it was a distraction. We went to the museum afterwards out of complete spontaneity and just talked which I absolutely loved. We spent about 3-4 hours together that day. We also mentioned to each other places we could go in the future like the zoo, aquarium, movies, etc. After I got home that day, I wrote on my a social site status good day and she commented on it saying hope I had something to do with it! hahaha which really got me thinking. There was a lot of conversation that day that I honestly do not remember...I mean come on, 3-4 hours... Anyway We went to lunch again 2 days ago, and we ate for about 2 hours just talking and enjoying ourselves. I noticed she was laughing and smiling a lot more than the first time, and she kept fixing her hair. This time we went to eat sushi instead of those quick places, and she also mentioned all these food places that she thought was good and she kept saying I'll take you and I just agreed. The thing is, she ended up paying AGAIN this time, but believe me I wanted to pay for this one, but she just snatched the bill away and kept it away from me. I think the bill was around 60 including tip. So in other words, this girl has taken me out twice and she has paid both times spending about 80 dollars total and I've only spent 1 dollar which was for the museum donation...I know this makes me look like a cheapass but I had the intentions to pay both times. Note: her birthday is on November 30th so I was thinking about getting her a little gift plus take her out to lunch (ON ME this time) In general, I just want to know if I have a chance with the girl...I love her spontaneous-ness, and her bubbly personality, but I don't want to be mistaking friendliness for something else.
boogieboy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Nope. Shes not interested, just friendly. Most women wont tell you straight up that they arent interested, its just the way they are. She is paying because she doesnt want you to think she owes you any affection for lunch. Many guys in her mind, think that its a lead on if she lets them pay. She CLEARLY told you she doesnt want a bf. THAT is coward woman speak for she isnt interested in you at all. She also wanted to hook you up with her friend, that pretty much is her hinting to you saying "I am WAAAY too good for you, but youre good enough for my friend." So stop going to lunch with her, and get her to hook you up with her friend.
davids Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Nope. Shes not interested, just friendly. Most women wont tell you straight up that they arent interested, its just the way they are. She is paying because she doesnt want you to think she owes you any affection for lunch. Many guys in her mind, think that its a lead on if she lets them pay. She CLEARLY told you she doesnt want a bf. THAT is coward woman speak for she isnt interested in you at all. She also wanted to hook you up with her friend, that pretty much is her hinting to you saying "I am WAAAY too good for you, but youre good enough for my friend." So stop going to lunch with her, and get her to hook you up with her friend. I disagree with this. She may have pulled the friend move in order to see your reaction. I think shes into you
LostInLA Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 It sounds like there might be something there, hang out with her some more and get to know each other a bit, but don't take too long! If you are sensing more is there, ask her out on a date!
boogieboy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 It sounds like there might be something there, hang out with her some more and get to know each other a bit, but don't take too long! If you are sensing more is there, ask her out on a date! Maybe you didnt read his post. They already went out on several dates, she paid, suggested she set him up with her friend, and she told him she doesnt want a bf. You really think thats her giving him the go ahead? What planet are you people living on? Who would want somone who plays those sort of games???
chocolate.strawbery Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I was taking out my wallet she jumped in front of me and said It's my treat! The thing is, she ended up paying AGAIN this time, but believe me I wanted to pay for this one, but she just snatched the bill away and kept it away from me. I think the bill was around 60 including tip. dude....DUDE. she payed for 2 meals!!?!??? milk this cow as much as you can! sure she may not be interested in dating you but who CARES! im 99.9% sure there's a better woman out there for you. and im 99.9% sure that you will not find a better friend!! 2 meals man! that's like...godly. besides, it's awesome having an attractive friend. makes you more comfortable with the kind of woman your attracted too. so spend some quality time with this girl. go shopping with her, find out how you can attract the next girl like her that comes around.
boogieboy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 dude....DUDE. she payed for 2 meals!!?!??? milk this cow as much as you can! sure she may not be interested in dating you but who CARES! im 99.9% sure there's a better woman out there for you. and im 99.9% sure that you will not find a better friend!! 2 meals man! that's like...godly. besides, it's awesome having an attractive friend. makes you more comfortable with the kind of woman your attracted too. so spend some quality time with this girl. go shopping with her, find out how you can attract the next girl like her that comes around. Use her to fix you up physically to make you more attractive to other women....I like it. Make sure you dont fall for her...she now has a specific purpose.
chocolate.strawbery Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 How old are you two? lol, try to stay on topic here. I'm not saying she has a specific purpose and that you can't fall for her. Sorry boogieboy. I just mean that you should be happy with the AWESOME friend you have. My appologies for getting a little over excited
Lucky_One Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 she offered to set me up with a friend of hers that was younger than me but I told her I like older women (shes older) and she also said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend because it was a distraction. I don't see where I am off-topic. I want to know how hold the OP is, and how old this woman is.
BCCA Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 From my experiences, unless they are your gf, women offering/insisting on paying is not usually good. As someone else mentioned, its their way of making sure you dont expect anything from them as a result of paying. Also, she mentioned setting you up with her friend. Now, either she is super insecure and wanted to judge your reaction (which I doubt), or she was giving you a hint. I tend to agree with BB, women usually only hook people up that they feel are inadequate for themselves, but good enough for someone else they would like to believe they are also better than. My hunch here is that she just wants you as a friend. I didnt catch if/when you made any moves, here, so Im guessing you might have got the same vibe.
Author velocitii Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 I don't see where I am off-topic. I want to know how hold the OP is, and how old this woman is. we're in our very early 20's, im 21, and shes turning 22 in a month
dreamergrl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 milk this cow as much as you can! sure she may not be interested in dating you but who CARES! im 99.9% sure there's a better woman out there for you. and im 99.9% sure that you will not find a better friend!! . Yeah using people is so cool. And someone paying for your meals is what makes a great friend. OP, I'm on the fence if she's interested. Several people on both sides make good valid points. I think until you have a more clear picture.. you should really tell her you'd prefer to go dutch if she wont let you pay.
Author velocitii Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 Yeah using people is so cool. And someone paying for your meals is what makes a great friend. OP, I'm on the fence if she's interested. Several people on both sides make good valid points. I think until you have a more clear picture.. you should really tell her you'd prefer to go dutch if she wont let you pay. i see what you're saying, and i never intended to use her, not really my nature im fine with going dutch, but id rather pay the next time considering she paid the last two times, but yea im just as confused, but thanks for answering anyway
dreamergrl Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 i see what you're saying, and i never intended to use her, not really my nature im fine with going dutch, but id rather pay the next time considering she paid the last two times, but yea im just as confused, but thanks for answering anyway Just feel it out. Honestly, I wouldn't drop 60 bucks on a dinner with a brand new guy friend if I had no interest. But that is just me.
Author velocitii Posted October 27, 2009 Author Posted October 27, 2009 ill try not to overthink it and just go with the flow...thanks!
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