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This to shall pass...


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Posted

Got up, stop for a coffee to go, went to the trails, went for a hour and half run. Got home just in time to watch the Steelers - Vikings game, it was wrapping up when I relised I was really hungry for a good hamburger. Then it dawned on me, I have no one to go with me to get one, friends busy and I wasn't devious enough to line up a new one like the EX did before ending it.

 

Damn, a good day gone lonely.

 

In hindsight, going the whole day with having only the conversation of "French roast to go...thanks keep the change" is not the best for mental health.

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Posted

The loneliness definitely bites... Myself, I went to the doctor and had a tube go down to my stomach. I had small chat with the person administering the anesthesia and it went something like this:

 

Me: I work at so and so

Him: Oh yeah? I know that area. I used to go to the B&N there when I was studying. I met my wife there.

Me: Wow, congrats. How long has it been?

Him:Four years.

So, why are you here today?

Me: Just making sure my stomach is absorbing nutrients properly. It might just be depression.

Him: Gotta find you a nice Chinese girl so you won't be depressed.

Me: Ha... I just got out of a three year relationship with one, so I'm not sure if I want to get into another so soon.

Him: You'll know. You'll end up with her again. All it takes is a phone call or a text message.

Me: I find that kind of scary... She's in Scotland now.

Him: Trust me, you'll always have her on the back of your mind, and she'll have you on the back of hers. You'll find her again. You're young, you have a great life ahead of you. Now, just take several deep breaths and pretend you're on a plane to Scotland.

 

 

When I woke up, I was sitting or walking towards another room with my shoes on (they were off when I was asleep).

 

Everyone I met since the break-up have been sharing their heartbreak and love stories with me. I normally don't get into such conversations with people (especially strangers), but I think it's my way of getting through my heartbreak.

Posted

Yeah, I definitely know the loneliness you're speaking of. It sucks, but honestly your day didn't sound too bad. I'd love to go take a run on a trail or something soon. The treadmill is so boring sometimes (most of the time). My endurance has gone up so much, I'm curious how I'd do on an uphill trail of some sort. I can't wait for one of my friends to get back from travelling because he's always down to hang out in the woods and start a fire, etc. Sometimes being in nature and feeling primal just takes all my worries away.

 

Also, I've had days with less conversation than that before. Luckily I got myself a job interview this Friday. It's seasonal work, but at least that means they'll probably hire me and I'll have something to keep me busy/pay bills with.

Posted
The loneliness definitely bites... Myself, I went to the doctor and had a tube go down to my stomach. I had small chat with the person administering the anesthesia and it went something like this:

 

Me: I work at so and so

Him: Oh yeah? I know that area. I used to go to the B&N there when I was studying. I met my wife there.

Me: Wow, congrats. How long has it been?

Him:Four years.

So, why are you here today?

Me: Just making sure my stomach is absorbing nutrients properly. It might just be depression.

Him: Gotta find you a nice Chinese girl so you won't be depressed.

Me: Ha... I just got out of a three year relationship with one, so I'm not sure if I want to get into another so soon.

Him: You'll know. You'll end up with her again. All it takes is a phone call or a text message.

Me: I find that kind of scary... She's in Scotland now.

Him: Trust me, you'll always have her on the back of your mind, and she'll have you on the back of hers. You'll find her again. You're young, you have a great life ahead of you. Now, just take several deep breaths and pretend you're on a plane to Scotland.

 

 

When I woke up, I was sitting or walking towards another room with my shoes on (they were off when I was asleep).

 

Everyone I met since the break-up have been sharing their heartbreak and love stories with me. I normally don't get into such conversations with people (especially strangers), but I think it's my way of getting through my heartbreak.

 

lol I had a similar conversation with my osteopath and he said oh just give her a call in a while and ask her how she is, she'll be sweet, it will work itself out. It's almost as if they live on another planet. I tell you what though, my osteopath is old and has doesn't know what the internet really is and has no cell phone, that's what it's all about. I don't think he can imagine the extra hell we have to go through nowadays due to the net and everything being wired up.

Posted
lol I had a similar conversation with my osteopath and he said oh just give her a call in a while and ask her how she is, she'll be sweet, it will work itself out. It's almost as if they live on another planet. I tell you what though, my osteopath is old and has doesn't know what the internet really is and has no cell phone, that's what it's all about. I don't think he can imagine the extra hell we have to go through nowadays due to the net and everything being wired up.

 

Yeah, I think all of these communication devices result in us acting more impulsively, rather than thinking things through. People get so used to being able to communicate whatever they want whenever they want that they don't think about consequences. Really, though, technology isn't to blame in the end. It all comes down to self-control.

Posted

Yeah, I totally know the feeling. I have barely been to restaurants since the split.

 

And as for the internet... I think FB is a bane on society.

Posted

To further follow up on this thread. I just cooked myself a nice dinner with chilli/lime chicken and a baby spinach salad...

 

Just not the same when it is for one.

Posted

darn, you guys are depressing. What's wrong with enjoying a book, smokes and a nice dinner at some bistro alone?

Posted

I'm a giving person... I like to share :p

Posted
darn, you guys are depressing. What's wrong with enjoying a book, smokes and a nice dinner at some bistro alone?

 

There's nothing wrong with being alone if that's what you're used to.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
darn, you guys are depressing. What's wrong with enjoying a book, smokes and a nice dinner at some bistro alone?

 

I lived on the road for many years, have no problem with eating out, going to movies, even hitting a bar on my own. I finished a book on Saturday, and started a new one.

 

So addressing your question, frankly there is nothing "wrong" with it. But as social beings as humans tend to be, even for personality with a penchant towards hermit tendencies, to occasionally covet for a bit of communal connection is not unreasonable, specially considering the context of my current circumstances.

Edited by GrayClouds
Posted
There's nothing wrong with being alone if that's what you're used to.

 

I'm not used to it. But I'm ok with it.

Posted
I lived on the road for many years, have no problem with eating out, going to movies, even hitting a bar on my own. I finished a book on Saturday, and started a new one.

 

So addressing your question, frankly there is nothing "wrong" with it. But as social beings as humans tend to be, even for personality with a penchant towards hermit tendencies, to occasionally covet for a bit of communal connection is not unreasonable, specially considering the context of my current circumstances.

 

Understand where you're coming from. Hang in there till your friends are free or make some new ones , alright? ;)

  • Author
Posted
darn, you guys are depressing.

 

besides that is why I spewing my sickness here to strangers rather than forcing this fun on to friends again Friends who having to hear any more of my monologues may soon be looking for of a high building to take the Nestea plunge for escape too.

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