mr.dream merchant Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Title says it all. Its been since June 10th, since I split with my ex. I hear it in my head all the time. "That's what happens when you're a sucky BF". She never did appreciate me, and we had our argument when I told her that. But for her to have the ****ing audacity to tell me that. I get so ****ing angry. She never knew about how strapped for cash I always was, she never knew about the mental, physical, and emotion strain on me it was just to see her happy. She DID NOT appreciate me nor acknowledge how much I did and cared for her. And now this is holding me back. How do I let go of a partner who didn't know what she had? What she lost? Who didn't see any flaws of any sort within her own being? Who left the relationship telling me her faults were because of me? How do I let go of that? I'm so ****ing angry that she even had the audacity to think like that. What a self-centered nightmare. But for some reason, I just wish she'd ****ing learn her lesson. I wish that one day she'll realize what an ungrateful bitch of a GF she was, probably still is, and that she just can't go around using and hurting people like how she did me, her ex before me, and whoever else is next in line. The trips to Disney World, the diamond ring, the shoes, the gifts, the expensive dinners, the rest of the other nights out, and etc. All on $7.45 dollars an hour, 20 hour paychecks every two weeks. She had no idea how much she meant to me. She called me worst the bf she ever had, cheap..I mean she really made me feel like a sack of ****. Like I was a terrible boyfriend. Was I? She meant everything to me, and it showed. The attention I gave her, the money I spent on her. She used me up until the bitter and dry end (my unemployment timespan of 2 months) and left me. When do people like her get theirs? I cannot let go until I know she's learned her lesson. Until I know she ****ing regrets taking advantage of and using guys for her own self-fulfillment. How can I overcome this hate? This bitterness? I just want to be happy again and not ever thinking of that ****ing devil of a GF anymore. I wish I never met her.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Wow Mr. DM, I can't believe she did that to you. If you're bitter about your ex, then you know you're not completely healed. I think I was like you a year ago, bitter that I given my ex everything of myself ( including my virginity) and in the end it was all for naught. How did I get over it? After a week of being depressed, I told myself I wasn't going to sit around and wait for life to pass me by. So I took up various activities, started a routine at the gym, focused on myself. Thinking back now, I got the better end of the deal. I'm in good shape, I actually have guys asking me out, and I feel confident in myself. Looking back now, I hardly even remember my ex or even care about him much. I know he was a part of my past, and he's staying there.
WTRanger Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 You've got to let go and focus on you and you alone. Who cares if she "gets what's coming to her?" What does it matter to you? The need for revenge is killing you from the inside out. As long as you feel like this, she has the upper hand. So forget about her and her life! What if she wins the lotto? Are you going to live the rest of your life in seething anger? Yes, you gave her a lot but you've got to move on. Stop making yourself a victim. You are allowing these thoughts to dominate your mind therefore you are persisting the pain. The easy way to get over the hate? Forgive her. Don't tell her you forgive her, but instead in your mind forgive her. Realize that she's a horrible person, but forgive her for being one. Some people are just jerks, learn from what you've experienced and apply that to the next girl. A long withstanding saying works perfectly here. It goes without saying that, "Holding a grudge against someone is like you drinking poison in the hopes that the other person dies." See that you have ingested the poison and it is clearly not affecting her. It is only affecting you.
cdt76 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I know your pain brother. But listen. You can't RUSH the "letting go" thing. Be angry. Be angry until you can't be angry anymore. You have to get it all out. You can hate and you can be bitter because you need it. You need it because you deserve to be that way. No one can say how long it will take you. No one has a timeframe that will allow you to move to a place where you can start to enjoy your life again. I'm not there and my ex did the same thing to me AND cheated on me with a co-worker/friend. I have so much anger, I'm in therapy. I have so much rage that I can't take out on them and there are days when I want to turn it on myself. Everyone says it will take you time, just don't rush yourself into it because then you don't address the feelings of why and move beyond them and they will eat you up over the course of the rest of your life and your next relationship. I don't know about Karma or what goes around comes around. I do know that your happiness and my happiness will come when we are ready for it to. Hate her and learn from it. Become a better man for the next lucky girl who comes into your life.
CLC2008 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Title says it all. Its been since June 10th, since I split with my ex. I hear it in my head all the time. "That's what happens when you're a sucky BF". She never did appreciate me, and we had our argument when I told her that. But for her to have the ****ing audacity to tell me that. I get so ****ing angry. She never knew about how strapped for cash I always was, she never knew about the mental, physical, and emotion strain on me it was just to see her happy. She DID NOT appreciate me nor acknowledge how much I did and cared for her. And now this is holding me back. How do I let go of a partner who didn't know what she had? What she lost? Who didn't see any flaws of any sort within her own being? Who left the relationship telling me her faults were because of me? How do I let go of that? I'm so ****ing angry that she even had the audacity to think like that. What a self-centered nightmare. But for some reason, I just wish she'd ****ing learn her lesson. I wish that one day she'll realize what an ungrateful bitch of a GF she was, probably still is, and that she just can't go around using and hurting people like how she did me, her ex before me, and whoever else is next in line. The trips to Disney World, the diamond ring, the shoes, the gifts, the expensive dinners, the rest of the other nights out, and etc. All on $7.45 dollars an hour, 20 hour paychecks every two weeks. She had no idea how much she meant to me. She called me worst the bf she ever had, cheap..I mean she really made me feel like a sack of ****. Like I was a terrible boyfriend. Was I? She meant everything to me, and it showed. The attention I gave her, the money I spent on her. She used me up until the bitter and dry end (my unemployment timespan of 2 months) and left me. When do people like her get theirs? I cannot let go until I know she's learned her lesson. Until I know she ****ing regrets taking advantage of and using guys for her own self-fulfillment. How can I overcome this hate? This bitterness? I just want to be happy again and not ever thinking of that ****ing devil of a GF anymore. I wish I never met her. I read some of your other posts, and I don't know the entire dynamics of your RL, but I agree with a lot of your points. I mean just the fact that she knew you were strapped for cash throughout your entire relationship and yet she expected and/or demanded you to purchase things for her, wasn't very nice of her. You bent over backwards trying to please her with monetary items and look what it got you in the end? Don't make that mistake next time, but try not to be too hard assed about it because not every girl you will meet will be like your ex.
McGrupp Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 u should use that bitterness and turn it into motivation. motivate to get yourself into a situation where you make more money and then you will forget about her. sounds like your job is keeping you down too
Thebob Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Man I wouldn't put up with that ****. If a girl told me that I would break it off with her right then if I knew that I was giving it my all everyday, and I tried my absolute hardest to make her happy. If she can't appreciate the things you did for her, then you will never be good enough for her and you deserve someone who you can treat great and they accept how hard you are trying and they treat you the same way back. You need to move on, and possibly print a picture of her face on your door and punch it everyday to get some anger out haha. But ya you'll find someone who will actually respect you man, hang in there. Thebob
stace79 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 If you continue waiting on her to get her comeuppance, you will continue letting her control you and make your life miserable. I have a similar problem with holding grudges and being angry/unforgiving. But it just hurts us in the long run. The best "revenge" is to move on and be happy. The way I would suggest looking at it is that it sounds like you're still young and have a lot of time to live. Use that time wisely -- better yourself because YOU want to, not for anyone else. Then one day you will be smart, strong and successful, and she will still be a using, ungrateful, unhappy person.
rp123 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 You've got to let go and focus on you and you alone. Who cares if she "gets what's coming to her?" What does it matter to you? The need for revenge is killing you from the inside out. As long as you feel like this, she has the upper hand. So forget about her and her life! What if she wins the lotto? Are you going to live the rest of your life in seething anger? Yes, you gave her a lot but you've got to move on. Stop making yourself a victim. You are allowing these thoughts to dominate your mind therefore you are persisting the pain. The easy way to get over the hate? Forgive her. Don't tell her you forgive her, but instead in your mind forgive her. Realize that she's a horrible person, but forgive her for being one. Some people are just jerks, learn from what you've experienced and apply that to the next girl. A long withstanding saying works perfectly here. It goes without saying that, "Holding a grudge against someone is like you drinking poison in the hopes that the other person dies." See that you have ingested the poison and it is clearly not affecting her. It is only affecting you. utterly brilliant...... Wish I could be so rational in this sea of emotion. I used to have such clarity, now I'm lost..... Thankyou...............
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Anger is a powerful stage and important too. It is what will help you move on. As another user stated, use the anger as motivation. Anger is SO powerful. We can do so much with it. But we can use it destructively or positively. Use the energy and frenzy of this stage to do things that will benefit you. For what its worth, i'm starting to believe in what goes around comes around. Who knows what is coming for her? Don't let it preoccupy your mind. Just focus on you and what makes you happy. Don't let her be the cause of your ruin.
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