tigressA Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 My ex and I got back together over the weekend. Here's the thread I posted about it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2451588#post2451588 Anyway, when the two of us were talking on Friday, I asked what he thought his parents would think about it and if they were upset with me. He said, "Well, maybe they are...once my mom asked me if I'd spoken to you recently and when I said no, she said 'Good'." Pretty cringe-worthy moment for me, because when we were together things with his parents were great; I loved them--still do, in fact that was a really hard obstacle to get over in my initial decision to split from him--and they loved me. Keep in mind that things between us were rather serious. When we were together I basically lived with his family when I wasn't at school. I had a part-time job in his area since midsummer 2008. His family's neighbors/friends were very familiar with me. I had met and gotten to know his paternal grandmother on two separate occasions when she came for long visits from their native England. My boyfriend said he hadn't given them any details beyond the fact that I broke up with him, but he had taken it really hard. Between knowing that I ended it and observing the way he acted, which he described as being angry a lot in order to mask his sadness, of course his parents would be wary of me at the very least. I wonder if there's something I could do beyond re-dedicating myself to my relationship with their son that could help patch up any hurt feelings. I'm thinking of writing a letter, only I don't really know where to start. Does that sound like a good idea? What should I include in it? Please help!
Clep Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I wouldn't do anything. There was not a fight with the parents or a problem so there should be no problem. It is up to their son what he decides to do and it is their job to support him in his decision. Doesn't sound like you have a problem with them and if they do with you it is up to them to let you know.
Author tigressA Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 Yeah, true. Thinking about it, the only thing that would really get them to trust me again is showing them that I'm committed to their son. Anything else would be superfluous. They've never seemed like the kind of people to hate with a fiery vengeance the one who broke their progeny's heart, but when my boyfriend told me about that exchange with his mom I cringed. I've always prided myself on not ever having a problem with an SO's parents...but then again, I've never been in a situation like this before--dumping a guy and then getting back with him. And the main reason I thought of writing a letter is because I became incredibly close to my boyfriend's parents while we were together previously. I had come to view them as my future in-laws, and while I'm not sure they saw the situation exactly that way, I do know they were very fond of me. It did seem as though I was in a relationship with them as well as their son; it was really hard for me to view my breakup with him as anything less than a betrayal of them.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I think time is the only thing that's going to fix it. The answer sucks, but it's true. It's like rebuilding trust in any relationship - it just takes time.
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