Isolde Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 (edited) When I think about the dynamic between myself and guys that I go on dates with, I sometimes can't help thinking that if I dated older, things might flow better. It's not that I want a guy to do "all the work", I just find that I don't communicate well with guys that are just as inexperienced as I am. I am also a trifle old fashioned in general about dating. I just wonder if dating guys in their thirties might be a good idea (I'm 23). I find myself attracted to men of all ages so that is really not an issue, I just wonder if guys 30-35 would want to date me. Of course if the chemistry is super special, where things just come together then I can totally see dating someone my age. Thoughts? Edited October 25, 2009 by Isolde
Jaytb Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 When I think about the dynamic between myself and guys that I go on dates with, I sometimes can't help thinking that if I dated older, things might flow better. It's not that I want a guy to do "all the work", I just find that I don't communicate well with guys that are just as inexperienced as I am. I am also a trifle old fashioned in general about dating. I just wonder if dating guys in their thirties might be a good idea (I'm 23). I find myself attracted to men of all ages so that is really not an issue, I just wonder if guys 30-35 would want to date me. Of course if the chemistry is super special, where things just come together then I can totally see dating someone my age. Thoughts? hmm. I don't know. How old is Christian Bale?
threebyfate Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Isolde, you've got an old soul, in a young woman's body. The easiest way to find the answer to your question, is to date older men and see if it works. I've primarily dated older, within 5 years though, except for a couple of men who were within 10 years. That my STBH is only two years older, is kind of ironical. Maturity AND immaturity, comes in all ages.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Even if you do date older, you have to make sure you guys are compatible. Most of the older guys I've dated didn't really take me seriously and their mentalities are like that of my peers.
CaliGuy Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Short answer: Yes. Older men are more patient, tolerant and understanding. Most of them, anyway
threebyfate Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t207150/ Are you paying attention Isolde?
ADF Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 You want to be careful dating older men. Men who consistently date much younger women often have serious domination/control issues. Sure, they like sex with nubile young bodies. But many also like dating women they see as less experienced, less savvy, more easily manipulated, and who they can make dependent on them financially. It is not true in every case, but it is something to watch out for.
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 You want to be careful dating older men. Men who consistently date much younger women often have serious domination/control issues. What survey/study is this from? I consistently date younger and it has nothing to do with being dominating or control. I do because I CAN Sure, they like sex with nubile young bodies. I'd change this to "sex with anyone of any age who keeps themselves in good shape..." That works for both sexes. I don't see women gawking over fat guys or guys with beer bellies. But many also like dating women they see as less experienced, less savvy, more easily manipulated, and who they can make dependent on them financially. Maybe some do but an intelligent woman will see past this. It is not true in every case, but it is something to watch out for. Not in my case at least
boogieboy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Absolutely not. I have no interest in a 23 year old for a serious relationship, who no matter how mature she thinks she is, is still discovering herself and will change in 5 years. She needs more experience under her belt before I'd go near her.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 What survey/study is this from? I consistently date younger and it has nothing to do with being dominating or control. I do because I CAN I'd change this to "sex with anyone of any age who keeps themselves in good shape..." That works for both sexes. I don't see women gawking over fat guys or guys with beer bellies. Maybe some do but an intelligent woman will see past this. Not in my case at least Here's the thing CG, I know you've dated alot of girls who are younger than you, but how many of them ever turned out serious? Because what it sounds like to me is that you date women younger than you because you're not ready to settle down yet.
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Here's the thing CG, I know you've dated alot of girls who are younger than you, but how many of them ever turned out serious? A couple. One lasted 4 years the other a year. Didn't find anyone I liked between or after them. Because what it sounds like to me is that you date women younger than you because you're not ready to settle down yet. Been ready to settle down for about 5 years now. The first girl I mentioned I asked to marry me
BobSacamento Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Heck there's a big difference in maturity from a 23 and 25 year old. For something serious odds are you are just prey with very little upper-hand. But if your going at it for something fun, more power to you. There are many advantages to dating older, financial stability being a key and seemingly universal motivator for young women to do so.
Author Isolde Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) BobSacamento, I assure you I'm not looking for a fling and this has more to do with maturity/patience than money. boogieboy, thanks for your opinion. Edited October 26, 2009 by Isolde
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) Yes yes yes yes yes yes. I am 22, and through high school and college I dated men my age or maybe one year older. After I broke it off with my college boyfriend (who was not even a year older than me), I found myself dating mostly older men (late 20's and early 30's), ending up with my current boyfriend of a year and a half, who is 33. Older men are more confident, more resilient, and have an easier time displaying their feelings (not in a girly way) without the fear of rejection that younger men have. They are more seasoned daters and aren't afraid to take the initiative. When I go to a bar or club, it's mostly older (yet attractive) men who approach me, because they're the only ones who have the balls to! Younger men often think "what if she rejects me, what if she says no, what if she's not interested...", while older men have learned that without taking those risks, nothing gets accomplished. And beyond the initial approach, on a relationship level, I found them more patient, obviously more mature, and surprisingly more "fun." During my dating time I dated a 28 year old, a 35 year old, and a 32 year old (now my boyfriend and a year older). Liked em all! ;] Edited October 26, 2009 by kiss_andmakeup
justwantlove Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 (edited) I would agree. Age is nothing but a number to me, its all about the connection that you have with each other especially if its a strong and caring one. If the love is there why let age get in the way? I didnt know just how much older my ex was when we started hanging out but he eded up being about 15 years my senior. The only sad thought i had about it was that if we ended up getting married he'd might die befor i do. Now that im single when i do start dating i wont be close minded when it comes to age. But i think id like some ones thats a older, more mature than the men my age. He'll know more of what he really wants and needs. Edited October 26, 2009 by justwantlove
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, and did I mention that, (in my experience anyways) they are better in bed? *prepares to get flamed*
paperchase Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 My ex-wife was 2 years my senior. My current GF is 23 and I'm 37. I never had a thing for young girls, but it seems they find me attractive. Most of them assume I'm much younger when we meet because I do look young for my age. My dad is 67 and is easily mistaken for 50. It's really unbelievable. I get carded often. Anyway, since my separation I've dated women from 21-31 and I've found that 23-26 works well for me. I'm pretty open, but I've found that women close to 30 want to know about marriage and children too soon for me. I'd almost rather date someone much older whose biological clock had stopped ticking. I have two kids and I'm open to more, but I'm not on a stopwatch. I mean if I do re-marry, I don't want to have kids on the honeymoon. I also find that many older unmarried women are jaded. They might be jaded from divorce or simply jaded by failed relationships that did not materialize into marriage. Either way, I'm not interested in this kind of person. The belief that older men want to control younger women is based on the ridiculous notion that young women can be controlled. Hey, when you were young, were you easily controlled? I barely listed to my parents. The truth is that young people are very independent and strong willed and trying to control them will drive them away quicker than repeated marriage talks to a middle aged man with commitment issues. There are many reasons why I think that it makes sense for older men and younger women to date. I never thought about them until I found myself in this position. But I have a second lease on life, financial security and long term reproductive capacity so why not?
aerogurl87 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Well I can say from experience that I love dating older men. My BF is 30 and I'm 20 and things are working out great for us. In my experience most (not all) older men know how to treat a woman, have a better sense of what it truly means to be a gentleman, and usually aren't into playing mind games. Granted, there are some younger men like that in their 20s, but they are rare. I say find someone you are compatible with and date them, whether they be 10 years older or the same age as you. As long as you are both mentally the same age, you should be fine.
Leia Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I'm smitten by a man that is younger than I am. I've dated older men and only one have made me feel as special as this guy I am sort of seeing. It's not really the age, it's more about compatibility and maturity. For me, that is .
aerogurl87 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, and did I mention that, (in my experience anyways) they are better in bed? *prepares to get flamed* Amen to that!
CaliGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Oh, and did I mention that, (in my experience anyways) they are better in bed? *prepares to get flamed* Preach on
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Preach on I had a feeling you would support my views, CaliGuy!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Is dating older better for slightly shy girls? Thoughts? I don't think you should tether age and suitability for shy girls to one another. Of course you might see many examples to suggest cross-referencing the two categories, but I think it is a waste of time. What I would consider, is the good, new-fashioned internet as a particularly helpful tool for countering your shyness. The trick would be to interact with someone online for a period LONG ENOUGH so that you each get to know the 'pawns' in the life of the other, SO that when that pressure-filled first meeting does occur, (even little ol' ) you will be armed with lots of the right understanding, and questions to ask, to have conversation flowing like you've seldom enjoyed before with a *new* encounter. Just avoid those guys who feel you should rush right out and meet up just because you each mentioned having visited the same coffee shop during the last millennium. (if you want to get somewhere and have awkward conversation with some guy - just go to a bar by yourself and save the keystrokes) I don't know if this means "online dating" sites, or more common scenarios like chatrooms and bulletin boards (esp. localized ones) When a woman is armed with the safety of anonymity coupled with that on/off switch at her side, there is no limit to how well she can pave the way toward romantic success. Above all else, just be yourself in that environment...
Recommended Posts