Tamia78 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 It's been such a rollercoaster week. The ex and I are on another forum together, and pretty much trashed each other on said forum.........Yeah, don't say it, I've already thought it. We had been PMing back and forth all week: Me, trying to understand how he can break up so easy with me, Him, basically telling me it was all my fault because of my issues (He has some serious issue himself--but of COURSE its all my fault ). I tried to be civil in the PMs. He railed on me in his. The final straw for me was a last PM I got from him, trashing me up and down. I stopped contacting him, stopped talking, everything. A few days later he texts me. He ended up texting me that whole morning still trying to pin our whole relationship ending on me, all the while making it clear that we "just aren't meant to be together". I was so hurt! It's like he never loved me at all. I again didn't respond to him. His texts ranged from, "That's how you always act, I'm tired of your bull****. Why do you have to be so MEAN?" to "I guess this world would be better off without me" (keep in mind that I never answered his texts) to "I guess I should tell you the truth, even if it hurts: My gf and I are serious and she thinks I'm great". I know what he was trying to do, and I just texted back, "I hope you and your gf are happy together. Good luck to you both". I was pleased with myself for that one, lol. The day after, I got an apology from him saying he's sorry for hurting me. It was a nice apology, but I didn't respond. This weekend, he texts me again, while I was visiting a guy friend of mine. I told him I wasn't at home, so naturally he wanted to know if I was with a guy. He said he needed to know to move on. Well, stupid me ended up calling him. We actually had a pretty decent talk. He FINALLY admitted that he has issues, which is a huge thing for him to admit. Well, we've been talking on and off all weekend. Last night, we talked about what we could have done differently to stay together. LSers, I LOVE this man. I do. But he's already broken up with me 2x because of his own insecurities. To me, he's pretty much proven that he can't hang with a serious relationship. When things aren't happy.........he runs. I know I have some of the same issues and insecurities, but I feel I'm willing to stick with it, instead of running away. I want him back. It's as simple as that. My friends and family would KILL me if we start dating again, tho. He sounds like he wants to change, but will he really? Are we gonna have some good months, and then.....BAM, like the other 2 times he broke up with me? Honestly, I don't know what to do here. I love him so much, but I can't go through this pain all over again if he decides he just can't handle it anymore. Really needing some support on this one. Thanks, guys. --T
caramel c Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 He is bad news for you and this relationship has about the same chance of working out as mickey mouse showing up at your door with cupcakes.
Author Tamia78 Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 He is bad news for you and this relationship has about the same chance of working out as mickey mouse showing up at your door with cupcakes. You're right about that, of course..........but he showed up with pizza! I guess in my heart I probably know it's not good to keep trying to date. But I think there's something wrong with me as well, ya know? I know I messed up on some things too. --T
caramel c Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 You're right about that, of course..........but he showed up with pizza! I guess in my heart I probably know it's not good to keep trying to date. But I think there's something wrong with me as well, ya know? I know I messed up on some things too. --T lol, I hear ya. I can tell you have a sense of humor though and that is really good to have during these times. We all mess up thats just life. Watch a funny movie! I am going to soon...
angelface78 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Tamia, My advice is he probably wont change hun. My ex broke up with me twice and this is now the 3rd time. Whenever things got hard in the relationship his solution was always breaking up or time apart. He would always come crawling back afterwards and i always took him back. Here i am once again. I believe this is the final breakup. He is seeing somebody new. After 5 years together he'd rather start anew with a stranger than to try to fix out problems, which were mostly his issues. He broke our engagement and so that is why i believe this is it. If he came back i dont know what i would do. I would always be afraid that hes going to run again. It shouldnt be like that. We should have confidence that they are going to be there no mater what. I understand what you mean about your family and friends killing you if you go back to him. My family and friends would be sooo mad at me if i ever took him back. I would be so embarrassed to tell them im going back after all the support and advice they've given me. It would be like slapping all of them in the face.
Author Tamia78 Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 Thank you CC, and Angel. Angel, I think you're right on about how I'm feeling. I'm going to take a break from him. I think he respects me enough to understand that I'm working on myself right now. It turned out it was ME who was at fault this time. I had been hurt so much that I've successfully built a brick wall around my heart, put some barbed wire up top, and put about 10 pit bulls around it. Unfortunately, he got to experience what happens when a person is too scared to get hurt, so they only give 50% to the relationship. I blamed everyone but myself. No more. We're not together, and I'm finally okay with that. I sense that he wants to be with me, but not the way I am now. If I can change and he comes back to me at that time, so be it. But I'm no good for any guy at this time. If he's gone, then I'll have to live with that as well, and as much as I thought it would hurt. It doesn't. Does this mean I'm on the road to recovery? I'd like to take all that stuff around my heart down (I'd kinda like to keep the pit bulls) and love someone like they deserve to be loved. Feels good to start healing..... --T
onewillburn Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 It doesn't sound like it'll work out if he knows he can have you at any time.
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