Lovestinks76 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Hello Everyone, I will spare the details and say that I found someone that made my soul sing...that made me so happy I could burst and I knew with every cell in my body that she was "The One" as they say. We were together 18 months and it was the best time of my life. We just clicked with massive chemistry and love and fun. It was heaven on earth. Then seemingly on a dime everything changed. My work took me out of town so we saw one another less. She became distant and cold. Like another personality had taken over. She suggested we take a "break" from each other for a while. I reluctanly agreed. When I talked to her after the break she confessed that she was seeing someone else and they are madly in love and had recently been intimate. I was destroyed. Grief molecules feasted on my flesh and I did not eat or sleep for three days, losing nine pounds in a very short time. Welcome to the tour of hell. Clearly I am leaving out a ****load of stuff, but mainly, I want to know how to deal with this now and how long this will take to get over, if ever. Currently I am thinking of trying to get her back because I know I will never get over her. I suppose this will change in time and I will get my pride back but my God does this suck.
Maoky Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 There will always be "the previous one" and "the next one" and so forth. Hang in there buddy, time changes things. She WILL eventually just become a distant memory. But for now, treat yourself to things you wouldn't have done whilst with her. Take a break, go to the gym, eat at new restaurants, treat yourself with the respect that you deserve
Meaplus3 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Yes. One can get over the so called "One". I'm living proof of that only a handleful of times. It's very easy to fall for people when you give your heart and soul. I try now not to become to emotionally attached as quick as I use to.. it's working. So you can get over the one that you thought f was the one. For there will always be another one! Hang in there. Mea:)
Soul Bear Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Maoky and Mea have it spot on.... If you have loved before, you will love again
RedDevil66 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Just know, they were "the one" for now. There is not just one person for you for the rest of your days. How can that be? We grown, we change, we become spiritually different throughout our entire lives. I thought my ex of 11yrs was "the one". Met him when I was 22, I'm 43 now and as a grown women, he's not someone I would EVER pick now in my life. Eww God, no way! Souls will come and go and each teaches or propels us to the next level we need to be in life. Hugs, promise you will get over it :-)
Ingenue Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 You do get over "the one" because you realize after you've worked through your heartache and your emotions and your anger and denial that there are many "ones" in your life. Certain people walk into our lives at certain times and they feel right. But through time, we grow, we mature, we become different people and we connect with people in different ways. If you asked me 1.5 years ago whether I would ever get over the man I thought was "the one" and who I had spent 5 years of my life with, I would have looked at you and said that such a feat was impossible. But I am a different person now and can't even imagine what I saw in this man to begin with. Your soul will sing again many more times in your life. Hang in there
CaliGuy Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 If they were the "one" they'd be with you -- therefore you're not getting over "THE ONE" you are getting over "The WRONG one".... Cheers.
Tamia78 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 You definitely can get over "The One". I was in your shoes just days ago. I've decided to make some major changes in my life. That included getting over him. It's okay for me to move on, and it's okay for him to move on too. If he is supposed to come back to me, we'll pick up where we left off, if not, then I know I will be able to find someone who is just right for me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Fortunately (in some ways, sadly) yes you can. I don't necessarily believe in 'the one' but I also don't believe there are 'plenty of fish in the sea'. I know there are a billion people in this world...but I know that by my standards, there are very few of them I would truly want to fish for! That said, there can be more than one person that can make you feel that way. Its coming across them and finding them...and holding onto them thats hard. Its also an issue of reciprocitiy, seeing as you can be mad about someone that feels nothing for you and vice versa. Sometimes I think mad love is instigated by one person being indifferent! But yes you WILL. The rush dies away and then its just a memory....and a new flood of emotions will come. I am both a hopeless romantic and a completely bah humbug cynic so I sit on the fence with things like this. I like the idea of the one and probably still would if me and my ex worked out, but we didn't, so I have to forget that idea, or i'd drive myself crazy!
Ilovecake Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 with seven billion people in this world it's unimaginable that there is only one person out there for each one of us.
Author Lovestinks76 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Thank you for the insight, everyone. I have been in love before, but this one was on such a higher level that I can't even concieve of it happening again. She would also go on and on about how what we have is so unique and strong. Not strong enough to keep her from falling for someone she just met, though. Amazing how someone so close to you can sell you out like that and wipe their butt with your heart.
Thebob Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Obviously she wasn't the one cause she didn't feel the same way, you deserve better and you'll find someone else even if you feel like you don't.. Let yourself heal and soon enough BAM there she is. Thebob
GrayClouds Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Here is a little secret, everyone here things that is what their doing. Fact is your EX was the ONE before the NEXT ONE. In time you will see. Good Luck
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Here is a little secret, everyone here things that is what their doing. Fact is your EX was the ONE before the NEXT ONE. In time you will see. Good Luck Nuff Said.. If they were the "one" they'd be with you -- therefore you're not getting over "THE ONE" you are getting over "The WRONG one".... Cheers. -Nuff said again
Recommended Posts