2sure Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 If you touch my arm during a conversation, that to me is a sign to proceed with touchy/feely since you're already done it. Absolutely! As long as your definition of touchy/feely is similar to the woman's. If you think running your hand over her ass is ok and she doesnt , date over.
boldjack Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Many people, men and women will touch hands or arms to "make a point", during a conversation or as a gesture of feeling, sympathy or even amusement. This is incidental touching, and means very little, and should not be taken as a sign of attraction. IME, if she has her legs tightly crossed, and plays with anything other than her body, or her eyes wander, these three signs are enough for me to change tactics or shorten the date.
homersheineken Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Many people, men and women will touch hands or arms to "make a point", during a conversation or as a gesture of feeling, sympathy or even amusement. This is incidental touching, and means very little, and should not be taken as a sign of attraction. IME, if she has her legs tightly crossed, and plays with anything other than her body, or her eyes wander, these three signs are enough for me to change tactics or shorten the date. If yo'ure comfortable to touch somebody, expect to be touched back... I agree with your 3 signs.
Author i'mfaraway Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 I try to if I'm getting good vibes. Don't women want assertive men? If you aren't getting good vibes, would you ask the woman out again for another try?
sunshinegirl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 If you aren't getting good vibes' date=' would you ask the woman out again for another try?[/quote'] You should ask my new guy. For about 3 months I gave pretty ambivalent signals - in fact told him outright that I wasn't interested in dating - but he was persistent anyway. And voila, I've now changed my mind about him. I wouldn't take this as hope that you can turn around any woman who's giving you a *yawn* ... but it does happen every now and then.
Author i'mfaraway Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 There should be more persistent men like him!
homersheineken Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 If you aren't getting good vibes' date=' would you ask the woman out again for another try?[/quote'] Probably not, if I'm not getting good vibes, ther'es no point. Although I will say this isn't a hard-fast rule
homersheineken Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 There should be more persistent men like him! But then aren't we considered needy and a follower (like a puppy)? To be fair I did this to a girl I worked with. I asked her out 3 times over a year and said no everytime. She came to one of our house parties, we got along great and then dated for 4.5 yrs
sunshinegirl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 But then aren't we considered needy and a follower (like a puppy)? To be fair I did this to a girl I worked with. I asked her out 3 times over a year and said no everytime. She came to one of our house parties, we got along great and then dated for 4.5 yrs I will say there's a bit of an art to it because - yes - there is that risk of looking needy. At first I was like "jeez, why does this guy keep at it?" But he backed off, and in fact put me on ignore mode for a little while, thinking maybe it would make a difference (unbeknownst to me, he was scheming a LOT during this period - "what will make SSG more comfortable / willing to spend time with me?"). I started coming around a few weeks ago - it was hard to not notice how thoughtful and generous and patient he was. He never pressed me for anything - let me set the pace and tone - but he just made clear that he liked being around me. And he made me laugh a lot so I enjoyed hanging out, even if I wasn't yet sure of my feelings for him.
homersheineken Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I will say there's a bit of an art to it because - yes - there is that risk of looking needy. At first I was like "jeez, why does this guy keep at it?" But he backed off, and in fact put me on ignore mode for a little while, thinking maybe it would make a difference (unbeknownst to me, he was scheming a LOT during this period - "what will make SSG more comfortable / willing to spend time with me?"). I started coming around a few weeks ago - it was hard to not notice how thoughtful and generous and patient he was. He never pressed me for anything - let me set the pace and tone - but he just made clear that he liked being around me. And he made me laugh a lot so I enjoyed hanging out, even if I wasn't yet sure of my feelings for him. Basically that's what I did with the girl. It was a difficult balance to strike and I wouldn't recommend doing it unless you really like the other person.
paperchase Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 In my experience, if a woman is not attracted to you she will create space between you and her. If you close that space, she will re-establish it. On the dance floor, at the supermarket, over dinner, etc. Also, she will not make unnecessary physical contact. That has always been true for me. If a woman touches me when it is not necessary, especially more than once, that's a very good sign that she's interested. I also believe that in most cases after the second to third date, if you go in for a kiss and she turns away that's all you need to know. You don't kiss someone you don't find attractive. Plain and simple.
Krytie TV Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 My biggest signal is when I don't like the person I'm on a date with. That usually kills it for me.
Author i'mfaraway Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 So if it's with a woman the man really likes, he would persist?
gypsy_nicky Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 wait, so touching someone actually makes them like you more? Hmmm, I'll look into this. Btw, good one for the dude that persisted with the woman in her workplace.
FeelingLonely98 Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 ADF, what you've described seem to be an extreme situation, no? I mean are you saying if otherwise, things are hunky dory? Isolde, I agree. I don't get touchy feely until the guy I like starts first. Men, do you always get touchy feely on a first date with a woman? If not, is that a bad sign? i'mfaraway - I'm sure you are not getting many serious answers here are you? LOL I am not currently dating - just finishing a very tough divorce. But I would probably touch a woman on the shoulder or forearm to start to let her know I liked her a bit. then let her decide the next move. IDK, It's been so long for me who knows what I'd do. That just seems like my best answer to your question.
hopesndreams Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Looking away, not really listening to what is being said and being too quiet.
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Pepper spray to the face is usually a good hint for me as are the words, "when I used to be a man..." Hahahaha
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 How many of you men have given up on the women you went on early dates with after sensing no-interest from them? What were the female signals that made you give up? Women, have you (for some reasons) given mixed signals to men that were probably interpreted as no-interest on your part and made them give up on you? Do you know on hindsight what the signals were? Not returning calls. Taking 2-3 hours to return a text. Ironically though, as soon as I drop them, they come back wondering why I stopped contacting them. Maybe I should be more forgiving. Probably not though.
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