xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 My friend and I was supposed to go on a " date" this weekend, and he had told me a weekend ago that he was going to call me to make plans. Stupid me, I gave him the upper hand to contact me and lo and behold, he hadn't contacted me. He had various ways to contact me, from email to phone, to myspace, and given the fact that he was a good friend, I'm actually a little more than upset. I normally don't get upset over canceled meetings but I had actually looked forward to hanging out with him, yet he stood me up. I don't know if I want to be his friend anymore, I'm actually contemplating erasing him from my myspace. I don't like being treated like this. If someone said they'd call, they normally do, and I usually return the same courtesy. But he didn't even bother to make an excuse to cancel. Eh... remind me never to allow anyone to make plans again.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Yeah, friends don't do that to other friend. A phone call takes two minutes to make if something came up. He didn't even give you that.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 Yeah, friends don't do that to other friend. A phone call takes two minutes to make if something came up. He didn't even give you that. Exactly. I mean he was always the one to want to hang out and this time I actually made an effort to meet up with him, so why the hell would he do that? I kept my phone on the whole week, but honestly if he can't respect me, he doesn't deserve my friendship.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Yeap, you are right. He doesn't. Don't tolerate it. Although I do understand why you are hurt. I had a date set up with a man that I didn't really know. he kept on insisting to take me out to dinner, I just wanted to go for coffee but he wanted to do the dinner thing so I went with it. I was clear for Saturday, he texted message me that day saying at first that he would have to meet me an hour later. No problem. I was cool with that. Then he texted me a few hours later saying he couldn't make it. Firstly, if you are going to cancel on me, pick up the phone. Secondly, don't make a big deal about taking me out to dinner and then back out. Thirdly, give me a reason why you are canceling. I texted him back not to worry about it and that I didn't want to see him again. It was all how he handled it. If he had called me and explained that this is what happened and I felt it was a fair reason to cancel then I would have rescheduled. But he did none of those things and still expected me to be motivated to make another go of it with him on another night.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 Yeap, you are right. He doesn't. Don't tolerate it. Although I do understand why you are hurt. I had a date set up with a man that I didn't really know. he kept on insisting to take me out to dinner, I just wanted to go for coffee but he wanted to do the dinner thing so I went with it. I was clear for Saturday, he texted message me that day saying at first that he would have to meet me an hour later. No problem. I was cool with that. Then he texted me a few hours later saying he couldn't make it. Firstly, if you are going to cancel on me, pick up the phone. Secondly, don't make a big deal about taking me out to dinner and then back out. Thirdly, give me a reason why you are canceling. I texted him back not to worry about it and that I didn't want to see him again. It was all how he handled it. If he had called me and explained that this is what happened and I felt it was a fair reason to cancel then I would have rescheduled. But he did none of those things and still expected me to be motivated to make another go of it with him on another night. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that J_S. I'm glad you didn't tolerate his behavior. Normally I would do the same with strangers as well, but since this is someone I know, I'm not certain how to handle to this. I can let this go, however I did somewhat like him more than as a friend, yet now that having been treated thus so, I don't think I can tolerate having him around as an influence.
CarrieT Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 My condolences. I have been stood up a total of four times this past year (one, just last Monday!). I hate to say that it gets easier, but it does hurt less each time it happens.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I know women aren't perfect but inbetween hearing my friends stories, my own and talking on this thread, I just think guys in the younger generations are just not quality anymore and that it's three times as hard to find a good one. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that J_S. I'm glad you didn't tolerate his behavior. Normally I would do the same with strangers as well, but since this is someone I know, I'm not certain how to handle to this. I can let this go, however I did somewhat like him more than as a friend, yet now that having been treated thus so, I don't think I can tolerate having him around as an influence. Thanks! It's okay though, I wasn't broken hearted. He had his own issues. There are plenty of other men out there. Just stay strong to your resolve and keep that in mind that there are other men out there.
Jaytb Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I know women aren't perfect but inbetween hearing my friends stories, my own and talking on this thread, lol. great sample size you got there
carhill Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Yeah, and he probably got the name wrong when cracking one off
muse08 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I know women aren't perfect but inbetween hearing my friends stories, my own and talking on this thread, I just think guys in the younger generations are just not quality anymore and that it's three times as hard to find a good one. you're on point with this... men in the younger generation have that feeling of entitlement and that they have so many women to choose from so why should they show common courtesy.fyi, it's not just the youger generation, it's just jerks in general...trust! have a question for you though. not saying that it will make a difference, but did anything transpire prior to you two setting the date? did you reject him or hurt his feelings somehow? i ask b/c my ex just stood me up last weekend as well...i have been rejecting him for several months now via NC (off and on) and and he's not happy about it at all. he acts as if everything is all good, but when he gets a chance to hurt me like he did last weekend he takes it.it hurt b/c i don't do stuff like stand people up with no call or anything.he called the next say and left a message .i didn't even care enough at that point to listen so i erased the message before listening. i rejected him b/c i broke up w/him and we hadn't reconciled anything so i wouldn't agree to see him all the time, talk to him, and he was probably mostly upset b/c i went NC on him. i called myself trying not to lead him on, but last weekend after his numerous calls and texts i agree to meet him so we could discuss working things out.but he stood me up for the first time in my life...here's the kicker...he calls like crazy the next following days!...for what!? that's why i asked you.your friend could be very passive aggressive and called himself getting revenge, which is lame and a "punk" move...any guy who can't express himself and has to act this way is a punk in my opinion.
muse08 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 He probably just forgot. lol...lol...................lol......... .....r u joking or what
boogieboy Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 PC, if this "friend" of yours really likes you, but youre keeping him at arms length as a friend, then I can see why he blew you off. Its a waste of his time. If you like him and he's keeping you at arms length, well now you know where you stand. If both of you arent attracted to each other and you were supposed to hang out as platonics, then I see why he blew you off, waste of time. If he had a date with a woman who something will come of the company, its just better to go that way.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 PC, if this "friend" of yours really likes you, but youre keeping him at arms length as a friend, then I can see why he blew you off. Its a waste of his time. If you like him and he's keeping you at arms length, well now you know where you stand. If both of you arent attracted to each other and you were supposed to hang out as platonics, then I see why he blew you off, waste of time. If he had a date with a woman who something will come of the company, its just better to go that way. BB, in the beginning I was keeping him at arms length, but he made an effort to always ask me out. Of course there was a few times where personal things came up and I had to cancel out on him, however, I made a point to tell him that I couldn't make it. Basically, what I don't understand is if you say he's wasting his time, why would he make the effort to ask me out? Maybe it's a rhetorical question, but if I felt like I was wasting my time I wouldn't be so straight forward as to an effort to ask someone out. Just saying. I know he likes me. I do sort of like him despite being hesitant about starting anything. I'm trying to be more open with him. I even cleared my weekend for him.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 you're on point with this... men in the younger generation have that feeling of entitlement and that they have so many women to choose from so why should they show common courtesy.fyi, it's not just the youger generation, it's just jerks in general...trust! have a question for you though. not saying that it will make a difference, but did anything transpire prior to you two setting the date? did you reject him or hurt his feelings somehow? i ask b/c my ex just stood me up last weekend as well...i have been rejecting him for several months now via NC (off and on) and and he's not happy about it at all. he acts as if everything is all good, but when he gets a chance to hurt me like he did last weekend he takes it.it hurt b/c i don't do stuff like stand people up with no call or anything.he called the next say and left a message .i didn't even care enough at that point to listen so i erased the message before listening. i rejected him b/c i broke up w/him and we hadn't reconciled anything so i wouldn't agree to see him all the time, talk to him, and he was probably mostly upset b/c i went NC on him. i called myself trying not to lead him on, but last weekend after his numerous calls and texts i agree to meet him so we could discuss working things out.but he stood me up for the first time in my life...here's the kicker...he calls like crazy the next following days!...for what!? that's why i asked you.your friend could be very passive aggressive and called himself getting revenge, which is lame and a "punk" move...any guy who can't express himself and has to act this way is a punk in my opinion. Muse, I'm not sure if he's passive aggressive or not, but there were a few times where I had to cancel out on him. It was during the summer. I mean why would anyone hold a grudge for so long?
carhill Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 One word - timing. The timing is off. Paths have diverged. Life goes on.
Jersey Shortie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 lol. great sample size you got there It's enough of a sample size to see patterns what guys today are like. So many men are just completely flakey and lazy. They rather stay home and beat off then interact with women and treat them with respect. Now I know you don't like hearing it but it doesn't make it any less true. I have heard so many stories of guys just being completely wishy-washy. Even men that have been in "relationships" with women for ongoing months or years. Most guys today don't want to have personal accountabilty and responsiblity. They want to be extended frat boys. You see that mentality alot here on LS too. Again, you might not like what I have to say, you might not fit into the type of man I am talking about but there are ALOT of men out there like that. xpaperx, it's possibly a passive-agressive move. He might be thinking that since you cancelled on him a few times that it's okay to treat you more causually now. Honestly, if someone kept me at arms length and then cancelled on me more then once, I wouldn't think they were serious about me. That doesn't mean I would stand them up but I wouldn't be making extra effort at this point. Maybe you have confused the message you are giving him. Not saying he shouldn't have called you though.
NewSmyrnaBeach Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I may be going out on a limb here but judging by your name, the myspace reference, and all the x's in it, I'm guessing you are a raging emo kid. So, feeling like this is perfectly normal for you. You live for this stuff! Enjoy it while it lasts because sure enough, that annoying little thing called happiness is bound to creep back up sometime In fact, you may have even ignored his call just so you can feel like this. I would check the local Starbucks. You guys can't get enough of that crap.
Shygirl15 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 My condolences. . And I thought they only say this when someone dies.. X, do yourself a favor and remove him from your friends list. Or at least from reliable friends list. I would rather have zero friends than unreliable friends like this one.
justforfun Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I may be going out on a limb here but judging by your name, the myspace reference, and all the x's in it, I'm guessing you are a raging emo kid. So, feeling like this is perfectly normal for you. You live for this stuff! Enjoy it while it lasts because sure enough, that annoying little thing called happiness is bound to creep back up sometime In fact, you may have even ignored his call just so you can feel like this. I would check the local Starbucks. You guys can't get enough of that crap. :laugh: Nuff said! :laugh:
boogieboy Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I may be going out on a limb here but judging by your name, the myspace reference, and all the x's in it, I'm guessing you are a raging emo kid. So, feeling like this is perfectly normal for you. You live for this stuff! Enjoy it while it lasts because sure enough, that annoying little thing called happiness is bound to creep back up sometime In fact, you may have even ignored his call just so you can feel like this. I would check the local Starbucks. You guys can't get enough of that crap. Oh man BURN!! How profound. Im supposed to be the brutally honest jerk on this board, I'm pissed I didnt think of this. Hey NSB, you called it right, and you might as well use this post for half of the threads on this board.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 I may be going out on a limb here but judging by your name, the myspace reference, and all the x's in it, I'm guessing you are a raging emo kid. So, feeling like this is perfectly normal for you. You live for this stuff! Enjoy it while it lasts because sure enough, that annoying little thing called happiness is bound to creep back up sometime In fact, you may have even ignored his call just so you can feel like this. I would check the local Starbucks. You guys can't get enough of that crap. Wow that was totally uncalled for. You're automatically labeling me emo because of my screen name, which is really just ignorant of you.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 . And I thought they only say this when someone dies.. X, do yourself a favor and remove him from your friends list. Or at least from reliable friends list. I would rather have zero friends than unreliable friends like this one. Yeah Shygirl, I did remove him. It bugged the hell out of me all last night and on a whim I just decided to delete because honestly I really don't want someone like that in my life.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 25, 2009 Author Posted October 25, 2009 xpaperx, it's possibly a passive-agressive move. He might be thinking that since you cancelled on him a few times that it's okay to treat you more causually now. Honestly, if someone kept me at arms length and then cancelled on me more then once, I wouldn't think they were serious about me. That doesn't mean I would stand them up but I wouldn't be making extra effort at this point. Maybe you have confused the message you are giving him. Not saying he shouldn't have called you though. Maybe Jersey, maybe. But to think he's hold a grudge on me for this long is just kind of sad. I mean I apologized plenty of times and even said I'd make it up to him, but apparently he thought my sincerity was a joke. Oh well...
Jersey Shortie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 Apologies are great, but actions are better. He hasn't really been given a chance to see that, if you guys haven't ever really gone out. Again, I am not saying he shouldn't have ever called but if sort of can understand being more relaxed with someone that put me off a few times
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