cazoraz Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Hi all Need some help, but will give you some back ground info. X and i have been seperated and divorced for 6 years. All along our relationship has been amicable and have handled our situation well. Our son could go and stay with his dad whenever the two of them organised to get together or if the x wanted to take him to a family thing he would come and pick him up. We could sit and have coffee together and chat no problems. Anyway, hubbie goes on holidays to Thailand and meets a lady. She is 29 and he is 46. Very stunning. what does a 29 year old want with a middle aged balding man even if he does have a lovely nature. Yes money. X has a very successful business. He is smitten and she is just rubbing her hands together with glee. Hate the the thought he could loose the lot if she cleans him out. we both worked long and hard to build this business up which is probably part of the reason we are no longer married. Financially does not affect me as i have no interest in the business but would destroy the x. She moved to Australia and within 3 months they were married. Our son who is 18 lives with me and started to run off the rails a little so there were quite a few phone calls between us. He is fine now. Anyway i get a call at work from the x saying i cant ring him at home anymore because it upsets her. And to call him at work. At first i thought okay. I dont want to cause the x any grief. As time went on i thought why should i have to slink around and act like the other woman when all i was doing was looking out for our son and getting help from his dad. Then i got really angry. How dare she. This is our son and if i need help i will ring him which is what i emailed the x. Said i will ring at home if needed and said she can deal with it. You cant have private conversations at work. I dont want people to know my personnal business at work. I dont ring him to say hi how are you. Its all about our son. Am i wrong in being angry about this. Even my partner will say you should ring the x about this or that and let him know. He has no problems with us comunicating and they get on okay. Son drives now so i dont have to go to his dads and drop him off or pick him up so that is a good thing. Anyway am i right to be angry or should i just slink around and ring him at work. Caz
delajoonal Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Hi all Need some help, but will give you some back ground info. X and i have been seperated and divorced for 6 years. All along our relationship has been amicable and have handled our situation well. Our son could go and stay with his dad whenever the two of them organised to get together or if the x wanted to take him to a family thing he would come and pick him up. We could sit and have coffee together and chat no problems. Anyway, hubbie goes on holidays to Thailand and meets a lady. She is 29 and he is 46. Very stunning. what does a 29 year old want with a middle aged balding man even if he does have a lovely nature. Yes money. X has a very successful business. He is smitten and she is just rubbing her hands together with glee. Hate the the thought he could loose the lot if she cleans him out. we both worked long and hard to build this business up which is probably part of the reason we are no longer married. Financially does not affect me as i have no interest in the business but would destroy the x. She moved to Australia and within 3 months they were married. Our son who is 18 lives with me and started to run off the rails a little so there were quite a few phone calls between us. He is fine now. Anyway i get a call at work from the x saying i cant ring him at home anymore because it upsets her. And to call him at work. At first i thought okay. I dont want to cause the x any grief. As time went on i thought why should i have to slink around and act like the other woman when all i was doing was looking out for our son and getting help from his dad. Then i got really angry. How dare she. This is our son and if i need help i will ring him which is what i emailed the x. Said i will ring at home if needed and said she can deal with it. You cant have private conversations at work. I dont want people to know my personnal business at work. I dont ring him to say hi how are you. Its all about our son. Am i wrong in being angry about this. Even my partner will say you should ring the x about this or that and let him know. He has no problems with us comunicating and they get on okay. Son drives now so i dont have to go to his dads and drop him off or pick him up so that is a good thing. Anyway am i right to be angry or should i just slink around and ring him at work. Caz cazoraz...uh YA! you have every right to be BENT! you and your X have a child together, so either at 18 months, 18 years or even 80 years old, you and your X will ALWAYS need to communicate and that is JUST THAT! maybe you should email or even call the new W... be nice, but matter of factly... i.e."hey lady, we have a child together and we are always going to need to communicate, about school, lifes issues, money, etc...." and SHE, the new W, needs to just grow up and deal with it! good luck and please keep us posted OK.. once again, i totally agree with you and would be irritated and upset too...the new W is being ridiculous!
WTFO Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 cazoraz...uh YA! you have every right to be BENT! you and your X have a child together, so either at 18 months, 18 years or even 80 years old, you and your X will ALWAYS need to communicate and that is JUST THAT! maybe you should email or even call the new W... be nice, but matter of factly... i.e."hey lady, we have a child together and we are always going to need to communicate, about school, lifes issues, money, etc...." and SHE, the new W, needs to just grow up and deal with it! good luck and please keep us posted OK.. once again, i totally agree with you and would be irritated and upset too...the new W is being ridiculous! Agreed. Tell her to pound sand. The conversations are about the kid. Nothing else. What is the big deal. She needs to understand the both of you will always be the PARENTS of your child and that she needs to get a grip and grow up.
Author cazoraz Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Hi Dellajolla and wtfo Thank you both for your replies. Was worried i was being a little touchy about the whole thing. It really did make my blood boil. And she has wrecked what the x and i have accomplished over the years. Suppose thats what you get when you marry one so wrong. Caz
whichwayisup Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 HE needs to tell her that you are in his life forever because of the kids. She has no right to dictate how things go, how much contact you have with him. SHE has issues and it's something SHE has to deal with and accept. It could be she's insecure - And just needs time to adjust, and needs to grow up too. I mean, isn't this woman 'step mom' in some sense to your kids? Instead of putting walls up and acting out, she needs to embrace everything and just relax, not feel threatened. I hope things get worked out!
Thornton Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 You sound rather bitter because he married someone younger and prettier. You assume that she only wants his money, although you have no proof of this - she may genuinely love him. Who are you to say she's wrong for him anyway? His relationships are his business, not yours. I agree that she should understand about you calling him regarding your son, as long as that's the only reason you call, not just for a friendly chat. That's something that he needs to sort out - he needs to tell her that you'll continue calling him at home. But if it's definitely his wish that you only call him at work, it's kind of rude for you to ignore that. Her objection may be that you call the house phone and she has to speak to you - could you not call his cell instead?
Author cazoraz Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Hi Thornton Thank you for different line of response. I suppose it may sound bitter but it wasnt meant to be. I am just pissed by her attitude. I was friendly to her and made sure my son was not rude to her in any way and treated her with respect. Even told her she was not to clean up after him. Like some teenagers he can be a slob. Went out of my to be friendly to her. Then i get stabbed in the back with her bs. Your right my x's relationships are none of my business, i couldnt agree more. Except when it affects my son. And that is what is happening now. Since posting on here i have decided to make no contact. Just sad that it has come to this i suppose. I had always thought we could remain friendly so in years to come important milestones could be celebrated together. Thats now no longer the case. Caz
imagine Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 An ex spouse should not interfere with the new marriage. If she is jealous, good for her. In future, text all communication to your XH. Don't get me wrong, I respect your concern over your children. Report any abuse to the proper authorities. And yes, there is abuse with the step children in marriages. Warn him in text to be careful. Declare your concern over your children, then stop.
Author cazoraz Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Hi Thornton You wrote: Her objection may be that you call the house phone and she has to speak to you - could you not call his cell instead? Dont think me ringing the house is an issue. She is thai and can hardly speak a word of english. Anyway as i said i make no contact now. Dont include his father at all in anything. Son just had 18th birthday party. 6 months ago i would have invited his dad and his dads family. Didnt let his father know. Son can ring his dad if he wants to share stuff. I am over this bs. At the end of the day its his father that will miss out not me. Cant believe though that in six months she has done so much damage. Imagine - there is no abuse. She wouldnt dare. I would be on the phone to immigration so fast her head would spin. She is still going through the channels of being allowed to live here permanetly which is why they got married after knowing each other 2 months. Caz
Lizzie60 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I have to agree with Thornton.. you are pissed because she took your place.. If I were you I would just respect his wish and call him at his work.. what's the big deal.. if you keep calling him at home.. and she really gets pissed.. then.. guess what? he WON'T answer your call... Your son is a young adult.. he can take care of himself now.. I understand you had some trouble with him.. you needed to talk with the father.. totally understandable.. but now that he's fine.. why would you want to contact him other than to piss her off.. ???? ps.. we don't know your story.. maybe you called him a zillion times.. we don't know that.. plus I agree with Thornton.. maybe they are very much in love.. and she didn't marry for the money.. but anyway.. for whatever reason they marry.. I believe that it's none of your business... he's mature and vaccinated.. and can do whatever he wants with his money and his life.. you make 'free' assumptions about them here.. Really.. just be the 'adult' here..
Author cazoraz Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Oh well. 50% agree with my right to be angry. 50% think i am a interfering bitch. Alot of assumptions in that! Never mind we all move on. Thanks to all who replied.
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