TwilightSky Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I'm just not aggressive with women. I'm attracted to them, obviously, but I lack that aggressive behavior most guys that are successful with women have. For one thing, I don't know if they want to talk to me, secondly I'm not sure what is appropriate aggressive behavior. I don't want to cross that line, you know?
Devil Inside Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 So you said "I don't know if they want to talk to me." So if you do not approach women because you don't think they would want to talk to you...why would they. If you don't have the confidence that you would be interesting and attractive..why would they? You need to work on your self esteem. Work on you first...and the rest comes much easier.
justforfun Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I'm just not aggressive with women. I'm attracted to them, obviously, but I lack that aggressive behavior most guys that are successful with women have. For one thing, I don't know if they want to talk to me, secondly I'm not sure what is appropriate aggressive behavior. I don't want to cross that line, you know? You shouldn't be aggressive with women. If you're viewing men around you as aggressive then you shouldn't be trying to emulate what you are seeing. Fine one woman you are attracted to. Women are not an homogeneous group. Get to know one of them and see how that goes. Doesn't necessarily mean you will get a date. But you will get the opportunity to learn something.
Author TwilightSky Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 So you said "I don't know if they want to talk to me." So if you do not approach women because you don't think they would want to talk to you...why would they. If you don't have the confidence that you would be interesting and attractive..why would they? You need to work on your self esteem. Work on you first...and the rest comes much easier. I see your point. Ah, maybe I just don't deserve to be aggressive.(outgoing).
Krytie TV Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 You shouldn't be aggressive with women. If you're viewing men around you as aggressive then you shouldn't be trying to emulate what you are seeing. Hmm... don't know that I can get behind this statement 100%. If my experiences were the population, then 75% of women do rather enjoy aggressive men. And the other 25% simply repress or don't admit it. Aggressive in many aspects including, but not limited to, the bedroom. OP, you'll find that the source of these concerns you have really stems from caring too much. Everyone reaches a point in life hen they just stop caring so much about what people think or how they are perceived and just act comfortably. For some lucky guys this happens in adolescence. For me, it happened in my 30s. Everyone's different. You can try to adjust your behavior but my own belief is that eventually that switch just flicks and it becomes easy.
Devil Inside Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I see your point. Ah, maybe I just don't deserve to be aggressive.(outgoing). Oh man. We need to do some work here brother. I am saying...you have to value yourself. The worth that you assign yourself is your confidence. It is hard for a woman to be attracted to a man that does not think he is worth her time. So the point is not that you are not worth her time...it is to know that you are! I would also add...you want to be confident and assertive...not aggressive or creepy. Also, flase confidence comes off as cockiness...so work on your self esteem. I'm sure there are things about you that women would be attracted to...so start from there.
justforfun Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Hmm... don't know that I can get behind this statement 100%. If my experiences were the population, then 75% of women do rather enjoy aggressive men. And the other 25% simply repress or don't admit it. Aggressive in many aspects including, but not limited to, the bedroom. Hmmm...not sure I can get behind you on this one either.
Author TwilightSky Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 Oh man. We need to do some work here brother. I am saying...you have to value yourself. The worth that you assign yourself is your confidence. It is hard for a woman to be attracted to a man that does not think he is worth her time. So the point is not that you are not worth her time...it is to know that you are! I would also add...you want to be confident and assertive...not aggressive or creepy. Also, flase confidence comes off as cockiness...so work on your self esteem. I'm sure there are things about you that women would be attracted to...so start from there. Well, gtg in a minute (work), but I meant assertive/outgoing I know there are guys that are aggressive and come across as extremely creepy. That is the behavior I am trying to avoid and is why I came on here looking for the "right" way to be outgoing.
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